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They're not your grandchildren

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
My first husband passed away while I was pregnant with our youngest. I was already close to my mother in law, but got much closer to her in the months after his death. She was a huge help and source of support for me and lived with us for almost a year.

I'm now happily remarried to a wonderful man and we had our first children together, we have twins that are now almost 6 months old. My first mother in law is still a huge part of my life, she's a fantastic grandmother and has included the twins as her grandchildren. She spoils and loves them just as much as the kids that are her biological grandkids.

My current mother in law hates it. she has said a few times that she thinks it's ridiculous and awful that she's "taking" her grandchildren.

This weekend, my first mil came to visit us and as always, spent time with the babies as well as the older kids. My current mil showed up to, unannounced. She wasn't happy to see 1st mil, but when she saw 1st mil holding one of the twins while playing with one of the older kids, she flipped out. She told 1st mil to stop trying to take her grandchildren, that the twins aren't her grandchildren and they're only half siblings, not real siblings to my older kids and it was awful how we all pretended like they were all the same.

DH kicked his mother out. Current MIL is now telling everyone who will listen that we are trying to replace her, that we don't want her to see her grandchildren, and that 1st mil is trying to steal her grandchildren away.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 11, 2016 at 5:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
geeez
by Baroness on Apr. 11, 2016 at 5:51 AM
1 mom liked this
Your dh's mother is a very jealous person and if the shit isn't stopped now it's going to get toxic...
Mama8080
by on Apr. 11, 2016 at 5:53 AM
Wow Dramatic much? Is she an alcoholic?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 5:56 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes that must be horrible to have people be accepting and wonderful to children not related in blood. What a crazy bitch!
surromama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 6:30 AM
Yeah, she has issues. Its so wonderful the your first mil treats your twins as if they are her grandchildren. My first mil is the same way. My exdh and his ex wife had one child, we had two. His ex wife adopted a child a month after our first was born. Later my current dh and I had a child. She treats all 5 of them the same. I love her for that. It was horribly out of line for her to treat your first mil like that and then to say what she said about half siblings. I'm glad your dh kicked her out.
ShaMac
by Ruby Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 6:37 AM
She sounds really jealous. It's best to stop that now before it gets super toxic. I never understood people that would treat children differently and want them to feel unloved.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 6:40 AM
Let her talk. I am sure she's crazy in many levels and the people she is telling already know this. If the topic comes up, set the record straight, otherwise live your life and move on.
Jenniy
by Ruby Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 6:40 AM

After that shit she wouldn't be allowed around my kids until she calmed her ass down and apologized to everyone.

lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 6:43 AM
Your DH needs to have a serious chat with his mom about her behavior.
myshoes
by Platinum Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 6:43 AM
If you are ever able to have a quiet, calm, rational conversation with her (doubtful), you could explain to her that sharing love does not deminish it. Use that sappy phrase about how when the flame of a candle is shared it multiplies - just as sharing love.

It may go a long way to express that your kids are lucky to have so many grandparents and you wish she'd treat your older kids as her grandchildren, too.

But I doubt much will help.
Moniker
by Gold Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 7:00 AM

How does new mil treat your older kids? It sounds like she doesn't want them to be treated then same as the younger ones, which is alarming. With her ranting that they're not all siblings  it sounds like she's jealous or  resentful of your older children. At the very least I wouldn't let her babysit.

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