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My relationship is falling apart

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 315 Replies
And I would do anything to fix it.

My boyfriend and I went out for my bday Sat night. We had an awesome dinner and then went to hang out at the bar where my bff works to hang out with her and several of our guy friends.

We both got pretty drunk and I started getting emotional because I felt like he was ignoring me (yes, I know. Needy gf mistake). By the time we got home, we were fighting. My bf wanted me to drop it and we would talk about it the next day when we were sober but I was drunk and stubborn and kept pushing and pushing. Finally, he got really pissed, picked me up and put me on the bed and then he left.

He came home around 6 AM Sunday morning and came and got into bed with me and told me be loves me. I asked him if he had cheated on me the night before and he said no, he had slept at work. We slept for a while. Then we woke up and sat on bed talking.

Apparently, he isn't sure he can keep going this way. He said he will decide by the time my kids get out of school whether he wants us to stay or not (if I move out, I will have to leave the area and he doesn't want me to have to move the kids with 1 month left in school). He loves me and he loves my kids but we have been together 2 years and I have yet to find a stable job. The economy sucks here and I keep getting laid off. I keep getting into trouble. (He has had to leave work 3 times in a year to pick me up from the police station). He doesn't know if he can handle it all any more. He begged me to fix myself because he doesn't want to lose me and the kids.

I have been looking for work but it's hard. Jobs here are few and far between and I don't qualify for anything but entry level and I am going to be out of work for 2-3 weeks in May due to a hysterectomy so that makes it even harder. I can't not have the surgery or put it off because I have severe dysplasia/stage 0 cervical cancer.

I have been sending resumes EVERYWHERE and I have decided NO drinking until I am stable because I only seem to get into trouble when I drink while depressed and it just makes it worse. I need more ideas how to "fix myself" before I destroy my relationship. I love this man so much and I know he loves my kids and I. But I know I have been a lot to handle the last 6 months or so especially.

Last night in bed he apologized for hurting me yesterday morning and he doesn't want me to feel insecure. He said if I can prove I really am trying to contribute to our family he isn't going to leave me. He wants to be with me for the rest of our lives. He will do whatever he needs to to support me in improving myself. He wants to help me. He just wants to see that I am also trying to help myself. He can't handle not being financially secure much longer so I need to find a way to get a job and keep it.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
janedoedoh
by Bronze Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:03 AM
23 moms liked this
What do you keep getting in trouble for? Sounds like you need to grow up and get your shit together.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:06 AM
3 moms liked this
Are you bipolar? Really not asking that to be rude but if you keep getting in trouble and losing jobs, mental illness is consideration.
Sheila79
by Platinum Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:07 AM
I agree with janedoedoh like seriously get help while you're job hunting. And no drinking at all
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:07 AM
Stupid things. I was in the car with my friend when she got a dui and I was drunk myself and beligerant(sp?) with the cops. Then one night I decided to walk home from the bar because I was too drunk to drive and they slapped me with a public intox. The third one, I was bartending and a fight broke out and I ended up in the middle of it. I wound up getting fired and threatened with assault charges but nothing came of it.

Quoting janedoedoh: What do you keep getting in trouble for? Sounds like you need to grow up and get your shit together.
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:08 AM
14 moms liked this

My advice to you would be to read the first 164 pages of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Even if you're not an alcoholic, the information in those 164 pages could help you to stay the course you've chosen.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:08 AM
No. I have never had any kind of mental illness.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Are you bipolar? Really not asking that to be rude but if you keep getting in trouble and losing jobs, mental illness is consideration.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:09 AM
1 mom liked this
Getting in trouble for what? How old are you? He shouldn't be bailing you out of of the police station multiple times.
MooreBoysMama
by Gold Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:09 AM
You have children and keep landing in jail? Why?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:09 AM
I'm not a true alcoholic. More of a binge drinker. I can literally go months with no more than a beer or 2 with dinner when I'm working and occupied. When I am out of work and feeling crappy about myself I tend to binge drink.

Quoting Sheila79: I agree with janedoedoh like seriously get help while you're job hunting. And no drinking at all
janedoedoh
by Bronze Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 8:10 AM
7 moms liked this
You need to lay off the alcohol!
It's getting you in trouble and also ruining your relationship. That's your answer.


Quoting Anonymous 1: Stupid things. I was in the car with my friend when she got a dui and I was drunk myself and beligerant(sp?) with the cops. Then one night I decided to walk home from the bar because I was too drunk to drive and they slapped me with a public intox. The third one, I was bartending and a fight broke out and I ended up in the middle of it. I wound up getting fired and threatened with assault charges but nothing came of it.

Quoting janedoedoh: What do you keep getting in trouble for? Sounds like you need to grow up and get your shit together.
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