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I don't think he should go back until she returns it or replaces it (autism related)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies

SS was diagnosed with autism at 3 and BM wanted no part of it.  She handed SS to DH after the appointment and walked out.  We didn't realize at the time that she really meant when she said she was leaving but she did.  She had nothing to do with SS for 6 years.  Absolutely no contact with us whatsoever.  About year ago she showed up like nothing had happened, wanting to be "mom" again.  DH told her to take him to court.  She was orginally awarded supervised visits but last month was granted unsupervised 5 hour visits once a month. 

The Easter Saturday was her first 5 hour visit.  We prepared SS as much as we could.   We dropped him off at her place and told them both we would be back at the agreed upon time unless we heard from BM.  So 4 o'clock comes around and we go pick SS up.  He comes out (by himself btw) and is pretty upset.  Right away we realized he didn't have his ipad.  SS is non-verbal but for the last 2 years we have been using an ipad and app for his verbal communication.  He has come so far since we implemented this and it's really been a life saver for our entire family.  SS hardly ever sets his ipad down and in 2 years it's never once been lost so we couldn't believe he didn't have it.  So DH went back up to BM's apartment to get it.  BM proceeded to play dumb, "he didn't have it when he came here", "I don't know what he did with it", "it must be lost in the apartment, I'll find it and get it to you".  DH asked to come in and look for it and BM said no and slammed the door.  Trying to get the ipad back became such a big deal, the police got involved.  We still have not seen the ipad yet but fortunately one of SS's therapists had one we could borrow (she was the original force behind us getting one in the first place).  Since getting the temporary ipad from the therapist, SS has told us BM asked to look at his ipad and then never gave it back. 

BM sent DH a text earlier asking if she could have her once a month visit this weekend.  I'm shocked that she is even considering the situation.  I don't think he should go.  She obviously stole his ipad, his voice essentially, and until she finds the ipad or replaces it she shouldn't have rights to him.  I'm not sending the borrowed ipad with him and honestly it worries me to send him there without being able to communicate.  BM wasn't around when we were using sign language and other gestures.  How will he be communicate with her.  DH contacted his lawyer when the ipad went missing but he's calling again and seeing what our options are.  I just don't know how a person attempting to be a "mother" could steal something like this from her own child. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Talkingheads
by Ruby Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:24 PM

Have Dh file for an emergency hearing

Melissa_4
by Navy Mom on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:24 PM
2 moms liked this

I am so sorry.  It's not even fair that she's given 5 hours alone with the kid.  She obviously has NO CLUE how things work with him, and is going to wind up screwing him up further.  If she really cared, she'd visit with him for an hour under YOUR supervision and leave the boy alone.

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:26 PM
1 mom liked this

see if you can log into the icloud account and locate the ipad.

I've done this with DH's iphone that he misplaced-turned out he left it at work and was able to retrieve it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:29 PM
How awful. She doesn't deserve any rights to that child
loquaciousred
by Platinum Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:30 PM
Wow. I don't even understand what her motive could be. I also can't believe our courts give visitation to someone who has been gone for SIX YEARS!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:30 PM
3 moms liked this
Did you report the ipad stolen? The carrier or Apple can put a block on it so that no one can use it until you have it unlocked. If you filed a police report you can notify pawn shops in the area of the theft and they will know to call the police if someone brings it in. (Give them the serial number). The vast majority of pawn shops have surveillance cameras. They get in huge trouble if they accept stolen goods. Trouble is, with most items, there's really no way to verify ownership unless they've been notified of the serial number of a stolen device. Also, most states require pawn shops to verify ID and keep records of who brought in what and ID number.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:32 PM
Wow, what an evil woman. Have you reported it stolen or used the find my iPhone app?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:32 PM
Wow. I don't think she should have unsupervised visitation with any child, regardless of the autism. She stole a tool he uses to get through his day. She missed the important years of learning to work through his disability. She sounds heartless. Don't they have the tracking device on them like the iPhone?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:34 PM

That's his plan.  To at least go back to supervised visits (which we supervised by either myself or DH).  But honestly, I don't even know if SS wants to see her anymore.  But being 10, I'm not sure a judge will let him make that decision. 

Quoting Talkingheads:

Have Dh file for an emergency hearing


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 3:34 PM

She sounds awful. I can't imagine letting my child go there.  

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