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My mom is impossible

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 36 Replies
I got married and moved out and away 2 years ago. I wasn't gone a year before she had moved to the town we are in. She never got a job and ended up losing her rental she had within 3 months. She had no money and no where to go, my husband said she can move in our house while I said NO. At that point he didn't know how she was and didn't listen to me.
She took our baby room and now the boys share a room. It was only supposed to be temporary but she's still year over a year later.
There is a strict no cat rule (we rent) and yet she hides 3 of those fucking things in her room and they have completely destroyed it. They never get to go outside. And now she also locks 2 dogs in her room all day long. It's the smallest room in the house.
Well shortly after she moved in she let my now 4 year old sleep with her and that was fine, it was clean and it was only sometimes.
Now it's to the point where he cries if he doesn't get to sleep with grandma and actually so does she. There have been times where he has fallen asleep on the couch and she literally drags him to her room so he can sleep in there.
I don't know how many times we've talked to her about it.
I've bought him new bed sets, new pillows, night lights, I've all but locked him in his room at night and he still wants to sleep with her.
I'll put him to bed and he will wander in her room between 2 and 3 most nights.
A little while ago we were all in the living room and she says to him "let's go take a nap" and he said no so she kept asking him for an HOUR before she eventually told him he IS going to lay down with her and to go pick a movie.

She's divorced and doesn't want to be alone. She never has been in her entire life and I understand that is scary but she's 56 years old she has to grow up sometime. And my 4 year old is not a replacement of her husband and that's what it feels like she's trying to do.

We are going to be moving in the next couple of months because even if she wasn't insane, there's not enough room in this house anymore for us all. I'm due in July with our 3rd and we just really need out. But I know it's going to cause a lot of problems and I'm really scared. I'm scared she will let herself go even more. Scared that she will decide not to pay her bills anymore so she can move in with us again :/
This is only supposed to he temporary until she could get back on her feet. She has 1 bill which is $250 a month so I guess she will actually have to save her money and be an adult now.
I feel guilty sometimes. She always says she can't afford it and she needs surgery first and help after. Idk what to do :/
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MommyBoha
by Ruby Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:37 PM
I swear, we have the same mother.. I'm dealing with the same thing. My mom lost her job last year and she would've been homeless. So, even though we don't really get along, I moved her in with my family. Temporarily, till she got back on her feet. 1.5 years later, she has no money, despite a decent job and living here totally bill free, and disregards all my rules concerning MY kids. I told her last week that she has till July to get out.
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bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:37 PM
Most of that is stuff you're allowing. Does she have an income? If you don't want things to continue as they are, you're going to have to put your foot down.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:37 PM
Do not let her move in again ever. She could get you in trouble with those animals. Tell her that you're the parent & if she doesn't stop Patti g your son sleep with her then she has to leave.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:39 PM
I know she's going to cry and pity herself when we leave but I can't take it anymore.
Is your mom leaving? Good luck lol I know it's an awful situation

Quoting MommyBoha: I swear, we have the same mother.. I'm dealing with the same thing. My mom lost her job last year and she would've been homeless. So, even though we don't really get along, I moved her in with my family. Temporarily, till she got back on her feet. 1.5 years later, she has no money, despite a decent job and living here totally bill free, and disregards all my rules concerning MY kids. I told her last week that she has till July to get out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:41 PM
She knows that we could all get kicked out because of her precious fur balls but she still rather have them.
Another reason we are moving and not telling her to leave is because we don't want to deal with fixing her room. It's seriously ruined.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Do not let her move in again ever. She could get you in trouble with those animals. Tell her that you're the parent & if she doesn't stop Patti g your son sleep with her then she has to leave.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:42 PM
No not anymore. She's working on unemployment right now I guess.

Quoting bluebunnybabe: Most of that is stuff you're allowing. Does she have an income? If you don't want things to continue as they are, you're going to have to put your foot down.
bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:44 PM
You realize you're liable for the damages, right?

Quoting Anonymous 1: She knows that we could all get kicked out because of her precious fur balls but she still rather have them.
Another reason we are moving and not telling her to leave is because we don't want to deal with fixing her room. It's seriously ruined.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Do not let her move in again ever. She could get you in trouble with those animals. Tell her that you're the parent & if she doesn't stop Patti g your son sleep with her then she has to leave.
bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:45 PM
Well, you've allowed this situation to continue so I don't know what you can do other than moving & not telling her where. Lol. She's way too young to just hang out & think people are going to take care of her.

Quoting Anonymous 1: No not anymore. She's working on unemployment right now I guess.

Quoting bluebunnybabe: Most of that is stuff you're allowing. Does she have an income? If you don't want things to continue as they are, you're going to have to put your foot down.
Rhodin
by Ruby Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:49 PM

Is she old enough to dump in a retirement home?  Most retirement communities have community activities and so forth so she can make some friends and doesn't need to cling to your son so much.

To clean the room well enough to get your security deposit back, you'll have to get the enzyme spray that's specifically for cat urine.  Take all the furniture out of the room, throw out your mom's mattress and rug (if she has a rug), and scrub the whole room from top to bottom.  Air it out and hope it worked.  If that didn't work, then you'll probably have to either call in a professional, or take the hit and lose the deposit.

hart57
by Ruby Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:49 PM
Time to have a conversation with her.

Start calling around for low income housing and getting her name on a waiting list. She will be among plenty people her age and rent is based on income. She probably will have to give up the animals.
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