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What to do when discipline doesn't work

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

Mostly the boy who is older. Does not care what toy I take away or how long of a time out. Just wants his own way and they both act loud and obnoxious everywhere i go.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 20, 2016 at 4:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 4:48 AM

4 and 5

mommy404204
by Silver Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 4:50 AM
That sounds similar to my 9 year old. We have tried taking things away and it doesn't help at all. I will keep an eye on this post maybe some people will have some ideas.
TruthSayar
by on Apr. 20, 2016 at 4:57 AM
Put him to work.
olivejuice2
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 7:51 AM
2 moms liked this
I try to make the consequence directly related to the behavior.

Make a mess? We can't go anywhere/do anything fun until it's cleaned up (I usually help while they are little).

Refusing to put shoes on when it's time to leave? You get cold, dirty feet and no sympathy. If it's a quick errand and I'll be within eyesight, kid doesn't get to join me out of the car.

Acting loud and misbehaving in public? I give a couple warnings and then we leave and go straight home. No fun things, no restaurants/fast food, we don't even finish our shopping trip.

Talking back or throwing tantrums? Leave the room (usually I tell the kid to leave, sometimes I leave instead). My company is for children who can behave pleasantly. If you can't be pleasant, then go be unpleasant by yourself. I'm their favorite person, so this is still pretty effective.

If I notice lots of defiance it is usually attention seeking. So I address the bad behavior in the moment but make a strong effort to put away screens and other distractions and do something one on one with my undivided attention. This often helps.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 7:54 AM

WHAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR IS CAUSING THE DISCIPLINE TO BEGIN WITH?

bigmouthbabe
by on Apr. 20, 2016 at 7:56 AM
Find what does work. Picking weeds, writing sentences, stripping all toys away, no tv, spanking, ....
Don't give up. The world doesn't need two more azzholes.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 7:57 AM
1 mom liked this
Discipline is different than punishment. Natural consequences; clear, proactive instructions and expectations; and immediate redirection to a desirable activity without warning will have greater effect.
Kmary
by Platinum Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 7:58 AM
Those are punishments, not discipline. There really is a difference. See an above response regarding natural/logical consequences. Discipline involves showing/telling what a kid should be doing INSTEAD of the bad behavior. And it teaches them (by natural consequence when possible) the effect of their actions. Honestly, it takes more patience and thought than removing a random toy but it has MUCH more lasting power.
EarlGrayHot
by Platinum Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 8:00 AM

Discipline always works when you find the right tactic.  You have to be consistant.  It's an ongoing problem and you haven't really worked on the problem before.  Talk to your pediatrician. 

MOM-RN
by on Apr. 20, 2016 at 8:02 AM
It really depends on the behavior that needs to be changed.
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