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Affair

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 37 Replies
I just found out my husband of almost 12 years (together 14 years) has been having an affair for the past 4 months. I'm completely devastated! We have a 9 year old son. My poor boy is a very emotional kid and this is going to be very hard for him to handle. I haven't told him anything, but he definitely knows something is wrong. I think this would be easier if it was purely sexual. He had a full blown emotional and sexual relationship. It even went as far as them saying "I love you." We are super broke and he was spending so much money on her. He bought her a new couch, took her on dates, brought her food while she was at work and the list goes on and on. I need advice. I'm so lost. Have any of you been thru this and gotten past it? I had my first therapy appointment last night but it didn't help. I'm trying so hard to hold it together for my son. How can I ever heal from this? My heart is shattered beyond belief. He's almost 40 and she jus turned 22!!! It just disgusts me what he's done to our family. I can't eat, sleep or even function. I've taken the past few days off work but I have to go back tomorrow. Please share thoughts, stories etc. I wish I could wake up from this nightmare.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SueWanda
by Platinum Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:23 AM

DO you plan to stay?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this
Therapy takes more than one session to help, so stick with it. Make a plan so you feel like you are regaining some control. Focus on yourself and your child.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this
Honestly a one time fling could be considered a mistake and forgivable, but this was thought out and deliberate. He needs to go.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:25 AM
In this situation I would leave like my ass was on fire and take him for what I could.
bubbs0809
by Emerald Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:26 AM
I'm sorry, I've been there.
You will get through it and in some ways better.

My husband of 17 years (together for 20, I loved him since I was 14)
Left me for someone 20 years younger than him.
I won't lie, there were some very rough times for the kids and I
I am not the same person who I was
I'm better in a lot of ways, I didn't realize how much I let him hold me back.
But I have changed a lot
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:27 AM

Been there, done that. 

I was exactly like you - couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. 

Time heals all wounds. That may sound callous, but it is true. You will heal, you will go on. It just takes time. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:27 AM

I cheated on my husband. Not on going though just drunk and high. We're getting over it. It sucks though things will never be the same

Kaelee1
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:29 AM

Talk to an attorney to protect yourself, even if you don't end up going that route.

Melissa_4
by Navy Mom on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:30 AM

Been there, done that, and she was supposed to be my best friend.  It does happen more than you think.  That's why it's such a cliche for men to leave the wife for a younger woman.  We actually wound up apart for almost 4 years, and actually divorced for about 18 months.  We undid the divorce, and six years later I'm still trying to heal from the damage he's done.  It's really not worth it.  Find your strength and move on with your life with your son.  Good luck.

admsj5
by Emerald Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 9:30 AM
Has he ended the affair? Completely cut off all ties with the other woman?
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