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Well this is a new reason....(what do you ladies think?)

Posted by on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:07 AM
  • 11 Replies

I was just talking to a patient who is in her 50s and she has 12 adopted children.  Her and her husband adopted all of the children, most of them adults, as young teenagers.

She said she is sure she could have gotten pregnant, as far as she knows neither her nor her husband had reproductive problems, but that she wanted to adopt.

Her reason?  Because she said it is too scary to get pregnant and risk having a child with a disability that they would be stuck with for the rest of their lives, taking care of them.  So they chose to adopt, older, healthy children.

That is something I have never heard and I'm not sure how I feel about her reasoning.  I have an employee, who had a "normal" child and at 15, he was in a car accident and he is 33 and a vegetable and she takes care of him.  So, not sure you can ever fully escape that risk. 

by on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Famousglm714
by Gina on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:08 AM

You're right. You can never escape that risk and that's why what she said is silly. Whenever I hear something like this I think there are other reasons that are too painful for the person to discuss. 

Libby22
by Ruby Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:09 AM

I think as long as she's a good mom to her kids and loves them unconditionally, who am I to judge her reasoning? Truly, I wouldn't care.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:10 AM
That is interesting. Generally I see adoptive parents as selfless. I would think the type who adopt would be amazing with a sn child. Her reasoning strikes me as selfish BUT, at the end of the day, those kids hopefully were raised in a loving home and that's the most important thing.
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SergeantSausage
by Ruby Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:11 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, she knows what her and her husband are capable of handling, as far as rearing a child is concerned, so I don't see the big deal.  Your feelings about it don't matter.

Jujubee12
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:13 AM

well she clearly doesnt feel comfortable raisint a child with disability, which is fine, because its a hard job not everyone can handle. So she helps those who do not have parents. I dont see any issue here. Some people know what they can and cannot handle 

jjames1990
by on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:16 AM

Her children are educated, and I've met a few of them when they accompany her to the doctors and seem very happy. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: That is interesting. Generally I see adoptive parents as selfless. I would think the type who adopt would be amazing with a sn child. Her reasoning strikes me as selfish BUT, at the end of the day, those kids hopefully were raised in a loving home and that's the most important thing.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:16 AM

sometimes worrying about being in a situation is worse than actually being in the situation if that makes sense. for them that was their reason and it worked. you cant judge someone whose opened her heart and home to 12 different teenagers! god bless. either way who cares what her reason is we all have reasons for something.

jjames1990
by on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:16 AM

My feelings do not matter at all.  I was just wondering how others view it.

Quoting SergeantSausage:

Well, she knows what her and her husband are capable of handling, as far as rearing a child is concerned, so I don't see the big deal.  Your feelings about it don't matter.


jjames1990
by on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:18 AM

I barely survived raising 3 teenagers, and I knew their history and their baggage, because I caused it.  LOL

Quoting Anonymous 2:

sometimes worrying about being in a situation is worse than actually being in the situation if that makes sense. for them that was their reason and it worked. you cant judge someone whose opened her heart and home to 12 different teenagers! god bless. either way who cares what her reason is we all have reasons for something.


jamminjules
by Silver Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:18 AM
I don't see anything wrong with that, I did not want a child with a major disability either. I didn't adopt but if I'd had the resources to I might have. Those kids need homes more than some imagined embryo does anyway.
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