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What else can I do?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

Last night my eight year old son said he wanted to kill himself. He was being dead serious about it. In kindergarten and first, he was a bright and happy child. He rarely got in trouble and he was always excited to go to school. This year in second grade is a whole different situation. His teacher used to teach fourth grade and now teaches second and she expects them to act like fourth graders (perfect attention and whatnot) She asked if he had adhd so we filled out the questionnaire and got him on medication (his older brother is add and autistic) but as the year progressed we noticed our once happy and bright son became easily agitated and frustrated and increasingly hateful towards himself. We finally realized what was going on and we tell him daily that he is not a bad child and that we love him. We are thinking he has auditory processing disorder but the center to test him wont return any calls. The teacher just yesterday asked me if mr miller (changed name for privacy purposes) the head of the special education department for anytown, ks (again name change) had gotten ahold of me to talk about the progression of getting him tested. I said no. after him talking of killing himself I kept him home for a mental health day. I messaged her and asked if mr miller could possiblely talk to the center as I was getting nowhere. She was like you would have to ask him yourself. I am trying my hardest and no one is helping me help him but yet she is ready to toss him under the bus.

I would get it if he was disrespectful, yelling, kicking, hitting or being mean to others. but he is not. He even gets marked down for not having his glasses!!! (they dont affect his school work much. He is a little farsighted) there is only a month left of school and its driving me nuts that she is so hostile towards her students. She is like this to most of the boys in her class. I also take care of her FIL and MIL in a nursing home i work in and i have heard negative things of the stuff that the son acts towards his parents.

what can I do here???

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 20, 2016 at 4:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
towerjunkie1989
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 4:34 PM
Are you in kansas? Message me the state and I can see what I can find. I'm in hutch if it makes you feel better.
Tracys2
by on Apr. 20, 2016 at 4:52 PM

I'm so sorry for your child!

It's hard to say if the teacher caused this behavior, or if it developed for other reasons and she just noticed it, but I hope you can find help and things improve ASAP. So sad.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 4:59 PM

yes I am in Kansas. we are probably moving to Oklahoma in about two months and I really want to help him better.  I have been trying to get into heartspring but its delay after delay.

Quoting towerjunkie1989: Are you in kansas? Message me the state and I can see what I can find. I'm in hutch if it makes you feel better.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 5:02 PM
I don't know everything about your situation so I don't want to say this is what is happening to your son.But from my own experiences as a parent I have seen a bad student/teacher relationship change my child's personality. A normally happy go lucky child went to a sad depressed child. It was a terrible year and the only thing that brought relief was the end of the school year. My child will still occasionally ask why that teacher before was so mean. Luckily we made it through and have a wonderful teacher now with absolutely no problems this year. I feel so bad for your child and hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 5:02 PM

I dont believe its solely the teachers fault BUT she is not helping matters. She is constantly on the boys in her classroom.

Quoting Tracys2:

I'm so sorry for your child!

It's hard to say if the teacher caused this behavior, or if it developed for other reasons and she just noticed it, but I hope you can find help and things improve ASAP. So sad.


towerjunkie1989
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 5:03 PM
Hmmmm.... you could start looking at services in Oklahoma if it's certain you will be moving. It's so close to the end of the school year I wouldn't bother with trying to find a new school.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

yes I am in Kansas. we are probably moving to Oklahoma in about two months and I really want to help him better.  I have been trying to get into heartspring but its delay after delay.

Quoting towerjunkie1989: Are you in kansas? Message me the state and I can see what I can find. I'm in hutch if it makes you feel better.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 5:04 PM

imagine my horror when he said he wanted to kill himself last night. He was always thrilled to go to school and be with his friends but now he is hating himself and thinks he is a bad child. He hardly ever got in trouble in kindergarten and first grade. I do not like her one bit and my only solace is that he only has about a month left in school

Quoting Anonymous 2: I don't know everything about your situation so I don't want to say this is what is happening to your son.But from my own experiences a parent I have seen a bad student/teacher relationship change my child's personality. A normally happy go lucky child went to a sad depressed child. It was a terrible year and the only thing that brought relief was the end of the school year. My child will still occasionally ask why that teacher before was so mean. Luckily we made it through and have a wonderful teacher now with absolutely no problems this year. I feel so bad for your child and hope you find the answers you are looking for.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 5:09 PM
I used to love my job. I got a new manager and some things were expected of me that I just coud not do, and it was enough to drive me into a deep depression.

Imagine how hard it must be, if a grown woman who has years of handling negative situations cannot handle something like this, how difficult it must be for a small child to be faced with this sort of thing.

Take him to a psychologist. Not for testing, but so that he can learn that this is not his fault and coping tools.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 5:13 PM
My child had always loved school as well until that one bad year. Pretending to be sick, tears, and begging me not to make them go to school. It was heartbreaking for both of us. I wondered and worried all summer what the next year would be like. It was like night and day it was so different. We have had not had one tear shed all year. It has been wonderful. If you can spare the absences I would recommend more mental health days as the year winds down. I saw where you said you were moving and I really hope a change of scenery will improve your son's outlook.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

imagine my horror when he said he wanted to kill himself last night. He was always thrilled to go to school and be with his friends but now he is hating himself and thinks he is a bad child. He hardly ever got in trouble in kindergarten and first grade. I do not like her one bit and my only solace is that he only has about a month left in school

Quoting Anonymous 2: I don't know everything about your situation so I don't want to say this is what is happening to your son.But from my own experiences a parent I have seen a bad student/teacher relationship change my child's personality. A normally happy go lucky child went to a sad depressed child. It was a terrible year and the only thing that brought relief was the end of the school year. My child will still occasionally ask why that teacher before was so mean. Luckily we made it through and have a wonderful teacher now with absolutely no problems this year. I feel so bad for your child and hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 5:18 PM
Please get him to a child psychologist. Start with his ped and get a recommendation.

Is he really ADD? It seems like you jumped to meds bc his teacher wanted it. I get that meds can really help children that need it but they can also change brain chemistry in negative ways.
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