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he said I played him

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
I told him I'd pick him up but I never showed. He just called and left a vm, saying that I played him, how dare i, that I'm no good... and he had to ride the bus to the other side of the city.

Why do I hide? I just can't say no to him. It's so hard.


Umm, the story behind this. Son is "recovering" addict. I'm trying not to enable. If I gave him a ride, it would've been all over the city, going here, going there, waiting out in the car while he goes inside to get money (and probably drugs)... or relive his "glory days" of him being a gang banger, drug dealer, stuff I don't want to hear or be apart of.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 20, 2016 at 10:53 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 10:54 PM
Ugh, grow a pair.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 10:56 PM
I'm trying but it's hard bc any step I take could lead him back to using and I know it won't be my fault but it'll feel like it. That's my son, I'm supposed to protect him, help him... but I can't. I don't know how.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Ugh, grow a pair.
dandynorm
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 10:57 PM
I'm with her here. Part of being a mom is seeing to their needs and being reliable, but saying no to things that are unreasonable or bad for them

Quoting Anonymous 2: Ugh, grow a pair.
kika.fleur
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 10:57 PM

I'm sorry.

I can't imagine how difficult it is for you to see your son like this, but you did what you had to do. Enabling him won't help anyone.

Do you have a support system? Has going to a group like Al Anon helped you?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:02 PM
Say what you mean next time. Don't say yes if you really mean no. That's so wrong.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:07 PM
I said yes when I was sleeping. He called around 10. I sleep from 9-12pm. We had this entire conversation that I didn't remember until I listened to it later... him needing a ride to two places, but he was acting like it'd be a mother and son lunch. He just wanted a taxi and it upsets me so I avoided all his calls. I didn't want him yelling at me if I canceled. It would've been the same stuff he said in the vm, but probably worse bc he would've guilted me into going.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Say what you mean next time. Don't say yes if you really mean no. That's so wrong.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:09 PM
There's none around. I'm going to a counselor to help me though. I think I need to just block his calls in the meantime. I cannot say no to him. My automatic answer is yes and I feel like shit no matter what I do, if i help, if I say no and like today, if I avoid.

Quoting kika.fleur:

I'm sorry.

I can't imagine how difficult it is for you to see your son like this, but you did what you had to do. Enabling him won't help anyone.

Do you have a support system? Has going to a group like Al Anon helped you?

kika.fleur
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:26 PM

Going to a counsellor sounds like a very good plan. Blocking his number is also very good. Those are two huge steps you are taking.

Quoting Anonymous 1: There's none around. I'm going to a counselor to help me though. I think I need to just block his calls in the meantime. I cannot say no to him. My automatic answer is yes and I feel like shit no matter what I do, if i help, if I say no and like today, if I avoid.
Quoting kika.fleur:

I'm sorry.

I can't imagine how difficult it is for you to see your son like this, but you did what you had to do. Enabling him won't help anyone.

Do you have a support system? Has going to a group like Al Anon helped you?


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