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Court order and divorce questions.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 94 Replies
My stbx and his ex have something in the CO about their birthdays but not the children's. I always found it stupid. Who cares about the parents, the kids matter.

I want to request some language in our CO regarding our kid's birthday. Of course I want time on his birthday every year but I want to be reasonable. Can you make suggestions?

Also there are a few other things I'd like to take from their CO and make it better with my ex and our kid.

I do have one other question... My ex is trying to get our son on the same visitation schedule as his older kids. I'm against this. (Because the schedule is awful) Is it common for judges to grant this sort of request just because of the previous kids and precedent?
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
WhatABeach
by Silver Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:30 PM
1 mom liked this
I think it's wrong for you to have the child on their birthday every year. He is just as much a parent to the child as you are.
I don't see why he shouldn't have this child on the same days he has his other children. If he doesn't, then the siblings will never get to see each other. Why are you being so difficult in the court order?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Why are you against your child having visitation at the same time as his siblings?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:34 PM
What's your relationship like?

Could you suggest that the family (you, ex, son, spouses, step siblings, half siblings, the monkey even) get together for a few hours, like a cook out to celebrate together? That way, no matter what day it falls on,you both spend time with him.
aheasley
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:36 PM

I would ask to split the child's birthday or do alternating years. Why are you against him having the same visitation schedule? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:36 PM
I am NOT saying I want DS all day every birthday. I'm saying I want help with the language do that we both ate guaranteed time with our son on his birthday. I have lived with the man long enough to know if it falls on his day he won't let me see DS without it in the CO.

Also I said I don't want DS on the same schedule as the other kids. I don't see HOW you got from that that he wouldn't see his siblings. You're reaching.

My ex has his older kids every Wednesday-Sunday night, every week. It's primary. And it's unfair. I'm requesting something more like a 4/on 4/off or maybe one getting mon-tue and the other getting wed-th with alternating 3 day weekends.

I don't think I'm being difficult. I just think I want different things than his ex did.

Why did you jump down my throat and assume the worst?

Quoting WhatABeach: I think it's wrong for you to have the child on their birthday every year. He is just as much a parent to the child as you are.
I don't see why he shouldn't have this child on the same days he has his other children. If he doesn't, then the siblings will never get to see each other. Why are you being so difficult in the court order?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:38 PM
Because it's a crappy schedule for the mom. I've always thought that while married to him and I think it now, too. ALL BM gets are 3 school days a week. I do not want the same for my son.

Quoting aheasley:

I would ask to split the child's birthday or do alternating years. Why are you against him having the same visitation schedule? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:39 PM
That's NOT what I said. I said I'm against him being on the same schedule that they are.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Why are you against your child having visitation at the same time as his siblings?
sheramom4
by Emerald Member on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:41 PM

Why not ask for week on/week off and as far as the birthday goes, split it or do every other year. So on X years you get overnight the night before until 2 or 3 pm, and your ex gets the the rest of the day and then you switch the next year. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:42 PM
It could work with everyone BUT my ex. My ex is impossible.

I was hoping for something in the CO saying that if its my parenting day that ex gets him from 3-6pm or if it's his day I get 3-6 pm. Just to make sure we both get to be with him on his birthday. But I'm bad at wording.

Quoting Anonymous 3: What's your relationship like?

Could you suggest that the family (you, ex, son, spouses, step siblings, half siblings, the monkey even) get together for a few hours, like a cook out to celebrate together? That way, no matter what day it falls on,you both spend time with him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2016 at 11:43 PM
I would prefer less time away from my kid, but week on and week off would be acceptable to me. Preferred over the schedule ex wants for sure.

As for the birthday, that sounds reasonable. Thanks.

Quoting sheramom4:

Why not ask for week on/week off and as far as the birthday goes, split it or do every other year. So on X years you get overnight the night before until 2 or 3 pm, and your ex gets the the rest of the day and then you switch the next year. 

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