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When his career comes before DD and me.

Posted by on May. 8, 2016 at 6:12 PM
  • 226 Replies

I will never come before SO's career, it was one of the reasons that I was unhappy in our relationship years ago, and it played a role in our breakup.

Now we're back together with a 19 month old and he is LD until June 24 when he transfers out here. Anyway, he was supposed to fly in for the weekend to spend Mother's Day with us, but he found out on Thurs that he had to work this weekend. He is salaried, so he'd make the same amount of money whether he was at work or not. I would have been fine with him bringing work here, but he cancelled out on us. 

He apologized profusely and knows that I'm upset. So he overnighted my gift, so I got it on Fri and he had flowers delivered to me this morning. But I don't care about the gifts, I want him and his time.

This is not the first time this has happened and I know it's not the last. And he thinks gifts make up for it all. When I try to explain that it doesn't, he says I'm being petty because he's working for the security of our family.

This is not a communication breakdown, he knows how I feel, but yet work is the priority. Would you be okay with this?

by on May. 8, 2016 at 6:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
juniors.mommy
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2016 at 6:15 PM
2 moms liked this
LD?. and I don't blame you I'd be upset too..although dh job comes before mostly anything but that's when happens when your in he military so I'm kinda used to it
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on May. 8, 2016 at 6:15 PM

I guess he doesn't really care how you feel about this.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 8, 2016 at 6:16 PM
11 moms liked this
Sometimes work has to be the priority so that he can support his child. He might not get extra money for working this weekend but it will keep him in good standing with his employer.
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on May. 8, 2016 at 6:16 PM
12 moms liked this
Obviously he has a job that requires him to work extra hours . Would you feel better if he had flown out and lost the job ? I'm sure working wasn't his idea of fun .
Gianna2014
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2016 at 6:17 PM

Long distance. He's not military. Thanks for understanding.

Quoting juniors.mommy: LD?. and I don't blame you I'd be upset too..although dh job comes before mostly anything but that's when happens when your in he military so I'm kinda used to it


Gianna2014
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2016 at 6:18 PM


Quoting corticosteroid:

I guess he doesn't really care how you feel about this.

No, he never has.

Sheila79
by Platinum Member on May. 8, 2016 at 6:18 PM
I wouldn't be back back together with someone like that, doesn't seem worth it unless you're okay taking second place
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 8, 2016 at 6:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Some people are just wired that way. Maybe if you say you will leave again if he doesn't change something, he might. But he might not and that's something you need to ask yourself.
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on May. 8, 2016 at 6:19 PM

Then what did you expect?

Quoting Gianna2014:

Quoting corticosteroid:

I guess he doesn't really care how you feel about this.

No, he never has.


Gianna2014
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2016 at 6:19 PM


Quoting Anonymous 1: Sometimes work has to be the priority so that he can support his child. He might not get extra money for working this weekend but it will keep him in good standing with his employer.

That's why he has a company laptop and access to everything work related from home to work remotely. He doesn't have to be in the office.

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