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Wow. Just....wow

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies
My older sister is adopted. She's 5 months old than I am, I'm our parents (unexpected) biological child. My sister and I are extremely close, always have been. That she's adopted is irrelevant to us both.

She's getting married now and I'm her maid of honor. She's had an open adoption, so her biological family is aware. She isn't very close to them, but usually talks to her biological mother once a year. The bio mom asked for an invitation to the wedding and my sister ended up inviting her biological parents and her biological sister.

The issue is the sister. She asked my sister to be her MoH. When my sister said I was, she ended up just walking out. However, she didn't drop it. She came to me after my sister had left and said that I was being extremely rude taking her place and I should step aside so she could be the MoH, as this is her only sister. I was caught totally off guard initially. Once I realized just what she was trying to do, I told her that this was my sister's wedding and this was about what she wanted. The bio sister didn't drop it, and kept pushing, how she was the "real" sister, how that was her spot, how I was trying to steal "her" sister.

I finally told her she needed some serious help, and that her just sharing DNA with my sister didn't make her a true sister. My sister and I grew up together. We have a shared history and are always going to be closer. We're very, very close in age. We're a lot alike. We're sisters. The fact that we aren't biologically related is irrelevant to both of us. I feel bad that her bio sister is so hung up on this, but it isn't my problem to fix or even deal with. She's essentially a stranger to my sister. I'm not sure why she thinks just sharing DNA with her gives her a place in her life. She's only invited to the wedding because my sister feels like she owes her bio mom a small spot in her life.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 8, 2016 at 9:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CorpCityGrl
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2016 at 9:33 PM

WOW indeed! That was quite presumptuous of her bio sister and rude. I think that your sister will need to speak to her directly and address the situation. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 8, 2016 at 9:35 PM
That's the thing, she already has. The bio sister first asked my sister to be her moh and be in the wedding. My sister told her no. I don't want her to have to deal with this, she's got enough going on with planning the wedding, I don't want her to have to suffer through dealing with this idiot.

Quoting CorpCityGrl:

WOW indeed! That was quite presumptuous of her bio sister and rude. I think that your sister will need to speak to her directly and address the situation. 

JadeHope
by Jade on May. 8, 2016 at 9:38 PM
You're right...wow! That is absolutely inappropriate and ridiculous! That woman needs a reality check and to back the hell off. She may share blood with your sister, but that is YOUR sister. Nothing is going to change that. DNA does not determine family.
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akemi875
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2016 at 9:38 PM
1 mom liked this
Personally, I think open adoptions are selfish. They want to see the kid grow up and say they are the parents without the responsibility. Though it does make it easier of the child would like to communicate with their bio family later in life for whatever reason they have. She owes her bio family nothing, you guys are her real family. Putting the bio families feelings before her adopted families feelings is an insult to the adopted family. While her bio sister didn't ask for her sister to be adopted, it happened. Sounds like she's also your only sister. Ultimately the choice is up to the bride, but in my opinion, you were already promised the spot and bio sis needs to back off.
shell3m
by Shell on May. 8, 2016 at 9:40 PM
That's nuts! Sounds likes she just wants the limelight on her for a bit. What a bitch!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 8, 2016 at 9:41 PM
Her bio parents aren't really a problem, it's the bio sister.

We have an older sister, but she's over 10 years older and we aren't as close to her as we are to each other. It isn't even that I was promised the spot. If she wanted someone else, I'd step aside, but she wants me. This woman just thinks she's entitled to be part of her life because she's a biological sibling, and she's threatening to make my sister's wedding a less than pleasant affair.

Quoting akemi875: Personally, I think open adoptions are selfish. They want to see the kid grow up and say they are the parents without the responsibility. Though it does make it easier of the child would like to communicate with their bio family later in life for whatever reason they have. She owes her bio family nothing, you guys are her real family. Putting the bio families feelings before her adopted families feelings is an insult to the adopted family. While her bio sister didn't ask for her sister to be adopted, it happened. Sounds like she's also your only sister. Ultimately the choice is up to the bride, but in my opinion, you were already promised the spot and bio sis needs to back off.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 8, 2016 at 9:44 PM
Wow, words fail me. The bio sister is incredibly rude. As much as you don't want to you need to tell your sister what the bio sister is doing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 8, 2016 at 9:45 PM
That's crazy on the bio sisters part.. even if she didn't have you nothing says you have to ask your sister,esp.if they aren't very close you seem like you have a great relationship with your sister and it is you who she wants as moh .bio sis will have to get over it
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 8, 2016 at 9:47 PM

have sis tell her the wedding is off

CorpCityGrl
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2016 at 9:48 PM

Talk about pushy! I wonder if the bio sister is kinda lonely too. 

I know your sister has enough on her plate with wedding planning and she's already told her bio sister "no," but you may need to tell her and have her step in. She's going to need to be adamant and draw a line with her bio sister. Guaranteed her bio sister is not going to listen to you because she is just going to pull the "I'm her biological sister and I count more than you because of it" card. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: That's the thing, she already has. The bio sister first asked my sister to be her moh and be in the wedding. My sister told her no. I don't want her to have to deal with this, she's got enough going on with planning the wedding, I don't want her to have to suffer through dealing with this idiot.
Quoting CorpCityGrl:

WOW indeed! That was quite presumptuous of her bio sister and rude. I think that your sister will need to speak to her directly and address the situation. 


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