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My life is falling apart.. Advice please

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
I'm 25 I've been married for 51/2 years to a man we have 1 son together whose 4 and I have a daughter who's 8 from someone else previously, the past year has been hell in our marriage, my husband has changed ALOT it's like I don't even know him anymore , and on top of it all all he does is drink drink drink, both of the kids get upset and tell me they get scared and upset and don't like it when they're in bed and he yells and makes me cry ; he calls me very nasty disturbing hurtful words! Then tonight started a fight and left and I couldn't go to work because he wouldn't come watch the kids sink could work and he thinks it's funny that he has be in charge of that bcus I don't have anyone to watch the kids while I work third shiFt, so I'm a way I do need him so j can work and support my kids, I want a divorce but I am scared we've had our house for 2 years the mortgage is both of our names of i wanted the house would they just take him off or what they take it from me to since we got it bcus of both of our credit scores and work, also I know the kids love him but they'd be happy not near all the yelling fighting and negativity but do you think they'd resent me or be upset bcus k worry about giving them a brokeen family and would feel terrible making them go back and forth and I'd miss them like crazy!!

I am just so depressed over this and so lost and confused

Any stories about your past experiences or any advice would be appreciated thank you!
Posted by Anonymous on May. 30, 2016 at 1:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 30, 2016 at 1:58 AM
It would be better for the kids to be in a stable home.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 30, 2016 at 1:59 AM
Sorry your marriage isn't going well.

The mortgage would stay in both names until a property settlement was made. At that point the person who was keeping the house (if either of you were keeping) would refinance the home int their name. If you kept the house you would have to give 1/2 the equity to your ex Sometimes withdrawing 1/2 the equity and covering the full mortgage is too much for one party and the house is sold outright
iwicked
by Sugar Magnolia on May. 30, 2016 at 2:00 AM
2 moms liked this
I am an adult child of alcoholic parents. Please divorce him if he doesn't quit drinking. They already have a 50% greater chance of becoming alcoholics than their peers. Go to Alanon for yourself. You can get great information their while creating a support network.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm 25 I've been married for 51/2 years to a man we have 1 son together whose 4 and I have a daughter who's 8 from someone else previously, the past year has been hell in our marriage, my husband has changed ALOT it's like I don't even know him anymore , and on top of it all all he does is drink drink drink, both of the kids get upset and tell me they get scared and upset and don't like it when they're in bed and he yells and makes me cry ; he calls me very nasty disturbing hurtful words! Then tonight started a fight and left and I couldn't go to work because he wouldn't come watch the kids sink could work and he thinks it's funny that he has be in charge of that bcus I don't have anyone to watch the kids while I work third shiFt, so I'm a way I do need him so j can work and support my kids, I want a divorce but I am scared we've had our house for 2 years the mortgage is both of our names of i wanted the house would they just take him off or what they take it from me to since we got it bcus of both of our credit scores and work, also I know the kids love him but they'd be happy not near all the yelling fighting and negativity but do you think they'd resent me or be upset bcus k worry about giving them a brokeen family and would feel terrible making them go back and forth and I'd miss them like crazy!!

I am just so depressed over this and so lost and confused

Any stories about your past experiences or any advice would be appreciated thank you!
littlesippycup
by Baby T-rex Arms on May. 30, 2016 at 2:00 AM
If you cant afford an attorney, call legal aid and check out your options. Document everything. If he gets physical in any way, call the police.
theResidentCat
by on May. 30, 2016 at 2:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I honestly cant believe you leave your kids at home alone with him....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 30, 2016 at 2:01 AM
Welcome to my world, been married to an asshole for 14yrs, and regret almost all of it. He started drinking after our son was born 10yrs ago. I hate him and I am trying to get the money for a divorce. He is verbally and now physically violent
he takes no responsibility. I hold my own, but my kids with him now hate him
I protected them as long as I could, but they want him gone as much as I do. I am going to have to get the cops and courts involved now.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 30, 2016 at 2:05 AM
Leave. I'm not one for leaving, but I think you need to.

Get on the day shift at awork, if not there somewhere else. Put the kids in daycare, file for divorce, and downsize (well the house).

Obviously I am over simplifying things. All will work out in the end though. You should also start documenting y
things that occur at home. If he drives off after drinking, call the cops.
surromama
by Platinum Member on May. 30, 2016 at 2:09 AM
Get out now! My step dad was an abusive alcoholic and I still at 43 somewhat resent her for staying and making life miserable. You could end up with the house or the judge will tell you to sell it. It's possible he won't want to split the kids 50/50, many don't.
You shouldn't have to live like that. Please for your sanity/health get away from him. The kids already know how bad it is so it could be an easy transition. It was for my kids. Good luck.
surprisemom147
by Member on May. 30, 2016 at 2:10 AM
No matter what it takes or how hard it gets, get out of that situation. If he has proven that he will not stop drinking then dont let ti continue any longer. It will drag on for years IF you let it. Get help from family and friends with helping watch the kids and get it done and over. Its poison and it'll keep bringing you down each day. Move on and you'll be surprised at how less stressful it is to not be around the drinking. Good luck to you and your kids.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 30, 2016 at 2:11 AM
I'm having a similar problem. I recorded all the awful crap he told me today while drunk. I was fat, lazy, a horrible mother, ugly, he hates me. Even said some mean stuff to our kids. But told me even our autistic dd was retarded. That just sealed something in me to find some way to get money and leave. I'm tired of crying and it's only getting worse.
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