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Working night shift is ruining my marriage *long*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
So I've worked night shift for almost a year, and instead of my dh getting more understanding about me having to sleep during the day he just gets worse.

I'm lazy because I have to sleep during the day, I'm being a bad mom because I have to sleep when the kids are home and awake, I don't spend enough time with him and the kids.

For the last two days I've had maybe 2 hours of sleep because he guilted me into staying awake to go do stuff with his family and then he turned around and left, although he got called into work on his day off, but he was supposed to get off work at 5 and then stayed until 9:30 knowing I have to leave for work at 9:45.

So I was up for over 24 hrs, went to work, came home got yelled at because I asked him to get up with the kids so I could sleep for the 2 hours I had before he had to go back to work. And again he was supposed to be off by 5 but volunteered to stay until 7.

I'm not mad at him for working even at his POS McDonald's job, I'm mad because he acts like I want to be asleep during the day or that having to get up with the kids so I can sleep is me just being bitchy and kicking him out of bed.

I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do and I'm tired of having the same arguments over and over. And I'm also tired of being made into the bad guy because of the shift I work, even though my job is the one that pays the bills and his is the one that is for petty cash.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 30, 2016 at 6:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on May. 30, 2016 at 6:20 PM

You need firm boundaries when you work nights.  Period.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 30, 2016 at 6:21 PM
Try to change shifts
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 30, 2016 at 6:23 PM
His biggest complaints are that he never gets to sleep in any more and I "always sleep all day". When I work I am home by 7:15 am and I am in bed by 9ish and am awake by 1:30 pm to get the kids out of daycare and the others off the bus.

Quoting corticosteroid:

You need firm boundaries when you work nights.  Period.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 30, 2016 at 6:24 PM
I have to wait for somebody to die on one of the other shifts before I can switch I've tried, I've been put on the "wish list" of another shift but it's going. To be a while before a spot opens up

Quoting Anonymous 2: Try to change shifts
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on May. 30, 2016 at 6:25 PM

He's being a douchetool.  Ignore his shit.

Quoting Anonymous 1: His biggest complaints are that he never gets to sleep in any more and I "always sleep all day". When I work I am home by 7:15 am and I am in bed by 9ish and am awake by 1:30 pm to get the kids out of daycare and the others off the bus.
Quoting corticosteroid:

You need firm boundaries when you work nights.  Period.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 30, 2016 at 6:27 PM
I'm sorry. But after a year of your DH pulling sh't like this its obvious he won't change.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I have to wait for somebody to die on one of the other shifts before I can switch I've tried, I've been put on the "wish list" of another shift but it's going. To be a while before a spot opens up

Quoting Anonymous 2: Try to change shifts
mommy404204
by Silver Member on May. 30, 2016 at 6:28 PM
You need to set firm boundaries when you work nights. I've worked nights off and on for 12 years and the only way it works is to have a schedule or that you need to sleep at least so many hrs a day. Night shift is already hard on your body to begin with you definitely need to sleep. You are not a robot you can not continue with no sleep. I would call him multiple times a night and see how he likes it and can function the next day. Good luck some people just don't get it.
Foxilady
by Nymph on May. 30, 2016 at 6:28 PM
Nights are tough. My husband rotates days/nights.
During his 4 nights he's awake 24hrs then lucky to survive on 5hrs for the next few days.

Your husband obviously has no idea... Just NONE
Mama8080
by on May. 30, 2016 at 6:29 PM
What a loser.

My husband works 24 hour shifts sometimes 48 hours like he's doing right now. I always take the kids out or at least be quiet so he can sleep a few hours.

What's your job?
Ms_mom_81
by Platinum Member on May. 30, 2016 at 6:36 PM

He is an ass. I worked 3 12s a week. Nights as well. I was cranky. I never got enough sleep, but you better believe my SO would let me sleep until 4 and he never gave me grief. I could tell he was sad sometimes when I would be so exhuasted on my days off I would fall asleep at like 8pm. Night shift is hard. I finally quit and worked for another hospital working days. No nights and no weekends. I feel like a person again.

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