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How clean are you ?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies
I ran into a girl I grew up with,we were inseparable as kids but as we got older we grew apart.She invited me over this evening and my husband said to get out for a while and enjoy catching up with my friend.When I walked into her house I was taken away.It was a disaster.There were no clean dishes the counter was piled to the damn ceiling.She offered her little one a bowel of cereal and had to wash a bowel and spoon.Ughhh.I used the bathroom and it smelled so musty,there were clothes on the floor that were so compacted together it looks like that's what they might be stepping on once they get out of the shower.The living room was pretty straightened up but I really can't get over the rest of the house.I went out the back door to smoke and it's right off of the kitchen well I'm standing on the step and right beside me are pots and pans with soap and water in them🔫🔫She explained how she just doesn't have the time to do everything.She has one child and he's 6 so he's in school daily.Her bf works and she is a sham.I mean I can understand having a mess but not filth.I feel so bad for her,I think she's depressed.I can tell just by the things she says and by the little she does do.Shes going though some relationships problems and I just think she's giving up on life in general.I would love to help her and be close again I just don't know how to go about saying "Hey,snap out of it and do the damn dishes".Im not even being dramatic,there was a casserole dish that looked like she might have made a cake or something that was so moldy it had fur.I watched her pour some detergent and water in it and put it in the oven🤔🤔🤔 I just don't get how even someone depressed would want to risk their health and their kids health.Who would want to live in filth.

My house isn't always in tip top condition but it's not filthy.Its lived in but I do also deep clean once a week and pick up regularly.

Sorry for any typos exc...I dropped my damn phone in the toilet last night and it's been a pain in the ass ever since.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 30, 2016 at 11:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on May. 30, 2016 at 11:21 PM
3 moms liked this
Because when you are in a deep depression- you don't care. You don't care if you live or die. You don't care if the house is a wreck. You don't care if there are dishes or counter space. You don't care about health or hygenie or any damn thing. You don't care.

When my depression gets bad- I can literally look around rattle off a list of everything that needs to be done and go right back to my tv show.

Depression is ruthless.

What makes it worse is everybody around you telling you to snap out of it. And just get things done. But it's not that simple.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 30, 2016 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol. So you smoke and bring your phone in the bathroom and are judging someone for being unsanitary?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 30, 2016 at 11:25 PM
Which is why I would like any recommendations on how to go about helping her.Even if I can't make her snap out of whatever she's going though I'd like to be there for her and help her...Maybe ask if she needs help??I don't want to embarrass her or offend her though:/ I'm stumped

Quoting happymommy1105: Because when you are in a deep depression- you don't care. You don't care if you live or die. You don't care if the house is a wreck. You don't care if there are dishes or counter space. You don't care about health or hygenie or any damn thing. You don't care.

When my depression gets bad- I can literally look around rattle off a list of everything that needs to be done and go right back to my tv show.

Depression is ruthless.

What makes it worse is everybody around you telling you to snap out of it. And just get things done. But it's not that simple.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 30, 2016 at 11:27 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes I smoke what does that have to do with a messy house??I smoke outside even in my own home.Smoked outside of her home even though they smoke inside.Never claimed to be the queen.
What the hell does me dropping my phone in the toilet have to do with any of this?

Quoting Anonymous 2: Lol. So you smoke and bring your phone in the bathroom and are judging someone for being unsanitary?
handy0318
by Ruby Member on May. 30, 2016 at 11:30 PM

Yeah, with depression, she's not going to "snap out of it and do the damn dishes".

Now, if you truly want to be a friend and truly want to try to help her, there are things that can be done and said that would be of help to her.

But, it starts with understanding and compassion. The compassion will follow the understanding. 

Think about what the point of your post is... is it telling us internet strangers that you're better than your friend...or are you truly seeking understanding about her so that you can reach out to her in friendship?

If it's the second, let me know and I can share with you what I've found to be helpful.

happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on May. 30, 2016 at 11:32 PM
Sure. Just be like

"Hey Jane when I was over the other day I saw your dishes. Looks like you have some really stuck on food. I learned a new trick can I show you?"

She may say no. She may say yes.

If y'all are close just ask if she feels overwhelmed. Relate to her. Tell her when you feel overwhelmed your mom comes over to help you get a handle on the house and it makes you feel better. Can you do something like that for her.

Sell it to her in a non threatening way. Don't be like dude your house is a wreck and gross.


Quoting Anonymous 1: Which is why I would like any recommendations on how to go about helping her.Even if I can't make her snap out of whatever she's going though I'd like to be there for her and help her...Maybe ask if she needs help??I don't want to embarrass her or offend her though:/ I'm stumped

Quoting happymommy1105: Because when you are in a deep depression- you don't care. You don't care if you live or die. You don't care if the house is a wreck. You don't care if there are dishes or counter space. You don't care about health or hygenie or any damn thing. You don't care.

When my depression gets bad- I can literally look around rattle off a list of everything that needs to be done and go right back to my tv show.

Depression is ruthless.

What makes it worse is everybody around you telling you to snap out of it. And just get things done. But it's not that simple.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 30, 2016 at 11:33 PM
I'm guessing you're okay with moldy,crusty dishes from counter to ceiling.You're okay with having mildewed clothes on the floor?This post is not only about her filth but how she's depressed and want to help her without offending her.Ive never been so depressed I couldn't function so getting opinions on how to go about helping my friend is the reason for this post.That has to be a horrible feeling and wouldn't want someone to feel like that and if I can help in a small way then I will do it.So you can take this post and twist it the way you want✌🏻️✌🏻

Quoting Anonymous 2: Lol. So you smoke and bring your phone in the bathroom and are judging someone for being unsanitary?
SweetbabyJ
by on May. 30, 2016 at 11:36 PM
Oh wow! Well next time meet somewhere lol
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 30, 2016 at 11:38 PM
Tell her you remember her saying she was having a hard time keeping up and ask if you can help her get her house back in order.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 30, 2016 at 11:38 PM
We are actually texting right now.She asked if I wanted to come over tomorrow.Her kids are going with her mom for a few hours.Im going to take her to the local diner😊 And then I guess ease my way into offering my help.

I have my old bedroom furniture in our basement and offered it to her since hers is falling apart.She said the other day she would like to have it so I'm thinking maybe I will come off with that."Let's tear your room out and we can start hauling over the furniture and then get everything in order".Doesnt sound too bad right?

Quoting happymommy1105: Sure. Just be like

"Hey Jane when I was over the other day I saw your dishes. Looks like you have some really stuck on food. I learned a new trick can I show you?"

She may say no. She may say yes.

If y'all are close just ask if she feels overwhelmed. Relate to her. Tell her when you feel overwhelmed your mom comes over to help you get a handle on the house and it makes you feel better. Can you do something like that for her.

Sell it to her in a non threatening way. Don't be like dude your house is a wreck and gross.


Quoting Anonymous 1: Which is why I would like any recommendations on how to go about helping her.Even if I can't make her snap out of whatever she's going though I'd like to be there for her and help her...Maybe ask if she needs help??I don't want to embarrass her or offend her though:/ I'm stumped

Quoting happymommy1105: Because when you are in a deep depression- you don't care. You don't care if you live or die. You don't care if the house is a wreck. You don't care if there are dishes or counter space. You don't care about health or hygenie or any damn thing. You don't care.

When my depression gets bad- I can literally look around rattle off a list of everything that needs to be done and go right back to my tv show.

Depression is ruthless.

What makes it worse is everybody around you telling you to snap out of it. And just get things done. But it's not that simple.
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