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Its never good enough for them...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

So im a single mom who has least an abusive relationship a couple years ago. I was left with nothing. I did everything on my own. I went in a shelter and working my way up to acheive a stable life. My parents didnt take me in or any other family member. I was alone. I slowly got out the shelter, got an apartment for my daughter and I, got a job thats doesnt pay much but at least it helped us move forward. Well i wanted something better for us so i decided to go for a secretary course. It pays good in my opinion compared to what i have now. I have no interest in going to college. Its hard being a single mom and i cant balance everyhting on my own. I did to finish highschool and it was extremely stressful to me. Im just not ready for something huge like college especially with the debt that comes with it. Maybe when my dd is older but for now the plan was going for secretary. Well when my parents found out they were pretty much upset and pushing college on me instead of enouraging me and giving their support. Its like no matter what i do its never enough for them. Not that i care because im not doing it for them but it still hurts to get put down like that. Its like they will always be embarassed by me and never be proud. Im proud of myself knowing ive come to far and coming close to my goal. I guess i cant believe how dare my parents act this way when they have never helped me once in my hardest times. They have no idea what its like doing it alone.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TomeDr
by on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:15 AM
4 moms liked this

Since your parents won't say this, I will:  I'm proud of you!  It's not easy at all to pull yourself up to where you were when you started from the bottom.  You're providing for you and your little one instead of whining that life is hard and going on welfare.  Welfare is great temporary help for those who need it but shouldn't be a way of life.  YOU are not falling into the welfare trap by getting a job and focusing on how to support your family.  You should be applauded!!

I say go for the secretarial course and forget college until YOU are ready for it.  If you push yourself to soon, you'll just burn out that much faster.  Give your parents a vague promise to take some classes later but focus on that secretarial position first.  After your little one is older, perhaps take an online class or night class from a local community college.  Start with ONE class and make sure it's something you are interested in so it's not stressful.

Again, congratulations on getting where you are.  I'm not your mom but if you need encouragement or anything, fell free to PM me any time.

AngelSinger
by MS Warrior on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:19 AM
1 mom liked this

Well said! I couldn't possibly do better. I hope OP listens to your advice. 

Quoting TomeDr:

Since your parents won't say this, I will:  I'm proud of you!  It's not easy at all to pull yourself up to where you were when you started from the bottom.  You're providing for you and your little one instead of whining that life is hard and going on welfare.  Welfare is great temporary help for those who need it but shouldn't be a way of life.  YOU are not falling into the welfare trap by getting a job and focusing on how to support your family.  You should be applauded!!

I say go for the secretarial course and forget college until YOU are ready for it.  If you push yourself to soon, you'll just burn out that much faster.  Give your parents a vague promise to take some classes later but focus on that secretarial position first.  After your little one is older, perhaps take an online class or night class from a local community college.  Start with ONE class and make sure it's something you are interested in so it's not stressful.

Again, congratulations on getting where you are.  I'm not your mom but if you need encouragement or anything, fell free to PM me any time.


blessed107
by Diamond Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:20 AM
You're the only person that matter. Keep your head up.
Princess_s21
by Sarah on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:21 AM

This is such an encouraging story to read, I am so glad you were strong enough to leave the abusive situation, knowing you would be leaving with nothing, their are so many woman that dont do it and stay. You sound like you have come a very long way and you should be proud. You know what is right for you at this time, like you said down the track a bit maybe college will be an option. Follow your heart and all the best of luck moving forward. You are good enough and your daughter thinks you are too, thats all that matters.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:24 AM

Thank you so much. This was so nice to hear. I guess it just hurts when people who are suppose to love and care for you always put you down and arent able to give you some support. My mom constantly compares herself to me saying things like "Oh i had 3 kids and went back to school, you can do it with 1 kid"... Like seriously? She had my dad who supported her financially and helped out. Im on my own in every way. Its just so annoying and heartbreaking to hear. I feel like nobody even realises all the work ive put in to come so far. 

Quoting TomeDr:

Since your parents won't say this, I will:  I'm proud of you!  It's not easy at all to pull yourself up to where you were when you started from the bottom.  You're providing for you and your little one instead of whining that life is hard and going on welfare.  Welfare is great temporary help for those who need it but shouldn't be a way of life.  YOU are not falling into the welfare trap by getting a job and focusing on how to support your family.  You should be applauded!!

I say go for the secretarial course and forget college until YOU are ready for it.  If you push yourself to soon, you'll just burn out that much faster.  Give your parents a vague promise to take some classes later but focus on that secretarial position first.  After your little one is older, perhaps take an online class or night class from a local community college.  Start with ONE class and make sure it's something you are interested in so it's not stressful.

Again, congratulations on getting where you are.  I'm not your mom but if you need encouragement or anything, fell free to PM me any time.


saka12
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:24 AM
1 mom liked this
Well said! Good luck op!

Quoting TomeDr:

Since your parents won't say this, I will:  I'm proud of you!  It's not easy at all to pull yourself up to where you were when you started from the bottom.  You're providing for you and your little one instead of whining that life is hard and going on welfare.  Welfare is great temporary help for those who need it but shouldn't be a way of life.  YOU are not falling into the welfare trap by getting a job and focusing on how to support your family.  You should be applauded!!

I say go for the secretarial course and forget college until YOU are ready for it.  If you push yourself to soon, you'll just burn out that much faster.  Give your parents a vague promise to take some classes later but focus on that secretarial position first.  After your little one is older, perhaps take an online class or night class from a local community college.  Start with ONE class and make sure it's something you are interested in so it's not stressful.

Again, congratulations on getting where you are.  I'm not your mom but if you need encouragement or anything, fell free to PM me any time.

STVUstudent
by Ruby Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:26 AM

sounds like you are doing the right thing.  If you decide you want college, I suggest maybe starting with one or two online classes- start with teh basics like composition or literature or math- no mater what degree path you choose you will need those, and if you do it through a community college it may be affordable enough that you can pay as you go.

I finishsed my masters a few years ago and graduated with no student loans... took no more than I could afford at a time.  Good luck and enjoy your daughter.

brooklynchic151
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:28 AM
Good for you darlin. Best to stay away from them. Maybe one day they will realize what you've been through and come around. Sweety one thing I've learned is that sometimes family sucks. I'm sorry. But keep moving forward for YOU and your baby girl ❤️
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:34 AM

Thank you so much. You are definetely right. I think strangers have helped me and gave me more support during my journey than my own family has. I guess family isnt automatically the best people around you after all. I will make sure to make family a different definition for my daughter for sure. 

Quoting brooklynchic151: Good for you darlin. Best to stay away from them. Maybe one day they will realize what you've been through and come around. Sweety one thing I've learned is that sometimes family sucks. I'm sorry. But keep moving forward for YOU and your baby girl ❤️


TomeDr
by on Aug. 4, 2016 at 7:36 AM

Well, we realize it.  :D

I am also a single mom.  My husband ditched me after 20 years of marriage when a midlife crisis hit and a 21 year old with big boobs came along.  My mother, on the other hand, has never worked outside the home and she and my dad are still married (56 years) so she doesn't really understand how hard it is to be a single working mom.  Fortunately for me, she's been very supportive.  I'm so sorry that you don't seem to have that.  

You might want to work on getting yourself a support system.  Since you're out of an abusive relationship, you might want to locate a support group or perhaps a church group like MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) if your daughter is under kindergarten age.  I belonged to MOPs when my kids were little and I also am part of a small group for parents of special needs kids (my one daughter is autistic).  Having friends around who understand what you've gone through is a HUGE help.

I also had a great online support system (not Cafemom - a much smaller online forum).  The people there were unbelieveably supportive of me.  Anything like that can be helpful so that you know that you're not alone.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Thank you so much. This was so nice to hear. I guess it just hurts when people who are suppose to love and care for you always put you down and arent able to give you some support. My mom constantly compares herself to me saying things like "Oh i had 3 kids and went back to school, you can do it with 1 kid"... Like seriously? She had my dad who supported her financially and helped out. Im on my own in every way. Its just so annoying and heartbreaking to hear. I feel like nobody even realises all the work ive put in to come so far. 

Quoting TomeDr:

Since your parents won't say this, I will:  I'm proud of you!  It's not easy at all to pull yourself up to where you were when you started from the bottom.  You're providing for you and your little one instead of whining that life is hard and going on welfare.  Welfare is great temporary help for those who need it but shouldn't be a way of life.  YOU are not falling into the welfare trap by getting a job and focusing on how to support your family.  You should be applauded!!

I say go for the secretarial course and forget college until YOU are ready for it.  If you push yourself to soon, you'll just burn out that much faster.  Give your parents a vague promise to take some classes later but focus on that secretarial position first.  After your little one is older, perhaps take an online class or night class from a local community college.  Start with ONE class and make sure it's something you are interested in so it's not stressful.

Again, congratulations on getting where you are.  I'm not your mom but if you need encouragement or anything, fell free to PM me any time.



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