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Maybe my judgment is clouded because I'm the stepmom...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 67 Replies
But I honestly don't see how this is hurting my step children. So I would like to discuss this with you all and see how you feel about it.

My DH always gets so upset with me when I want to do something "fun" with our shared child on a day we do not have my step children.

We have the older kids every weekend plus 1-3 week days. So they are here a LOT. So in that sense I totally understand where DH is coming from. There is no real reason not to wait for them.

One of the day's the kids are always with their mother is Monday. That happens to also be one of the only days of the week I am always off from work.

I usually work tue-sat and then have sun/mon off. I can change my schedule if I want and take Saturday off. But I prefer not to unless it's necessary because I don't want to be a pest to my co workers and boss. And I believe that we should all be willing to take Saturday shifts to be fair. So I usually work every Saturday over the summer so I can take off for my stepson's football games in the fall without feeling guilty.

Sometimes on a Monday I like to take my son to so things. Like, go see a movie or go to the children's museum. Or maybe just a picnic at the park.

DH always gets annoyed at me and asks why it can't wait until Sunday so we can take the older kids too.

I love taking the older kids. But by the time we go to church and then get home we only have a couple of hours until their mom gets them. So we tend to do more of the small things like picnics or park time, or in the winter ice skating. I like having Sunday off to spend with them before they go. So I don't switch it for Saturday very often.

I suggest to DH that he take them Saturday while I work, but he seems to think it's too hard without me.

I just don't feel right taking Saturday off just to go to the movies or the park. Once in a while, sure. Or for a birthday or sporting even yeah. But I don't want to ask my boss for too much.

Anyway.... I know this was confusing as hell.

But is it unfair of me to do things with my son on my days off? Even though the step kids can't come that day?
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:13 AM
6 moms liked this
Your DH sounds like a douche. He expects you to do things with all the kids, but he won't if you aren't with him. He needs to man up and parent his kids without you when you are at work.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:14 AM
He can also ask BM to adjust times for him if he wants to do things with all the kids.
702girly
by on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:16 AM
1 mom liked this

It's pathetic to me that he can't do things with his children by himself. Didn't that concern you before you married him? 

I think you should enjoy your days off however you want. It's ridiculous to stay home those days because the other kids aren't there. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:18 AM
I love doing things with all of them. You know? Nothing feels better than when lie whole family is complete and together.

But I just don't want my life to stop when they aren't here. Or for our sons to.

Before much longer he will be in school and my Monday's with him will be over. I did the same sorts of things with my SD while SS was in school when they were littler.

Quoting Anonymous 2: He can also ask BM to adjust times for him if he wants to do things with all the kids.
1Dexx3
by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:19 AM
I don't think it's unfair at all. He is being weird.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:19 AM
I understand.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I love doing things with all of them. You know? Nothing feels better than when lie whole family is complete and together.

But I just don't want my life to stop when they aren't here. Or for our sons to.

Before much longer he will be in school and my Monday's with him will be over. I did the same sorts of things with my SD while SS was in school when they were littler.

Quoting Anonymous 2: He can also ask BM to adjust times for him if he wants to do things with all the kids.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:20 AM
It never really came up when they were little and we were dating. If I was off I joined them. If I wasn't I nerver really asked/cared what they were up to.

Quoting 702girly:

It's pathetic to me that he can't do things with his children by himself. Didn't that concern you before you married him? 

I think you should enjoy your days off however you want. It's ridiculous to stay home those days because the other kids aren't there. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:20 AM
1 mom liked this
As a step mom, whose husband has custody, in the summer time when my step daughter is with her mom, I do little fun things with my kids. I also plan things when she is here. There is nothing wrong with wanting time with your child, and there's nothing wrong with having family time with all kids. I don't think either of you are wrong so to speak, but I do feel there may be room for some compromise. Would it be possible to take maybe one Saturday off a month in the summer time to spend with the step children as well? And still have your Monday day with your child?

And I also agree that the step children need some time with dad. He should try and take them out and do something on a Saturday with them. Again, there is room for compromise.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:21 AM
Thanks

Quoting 1Dexx3: I don't think it's unfair at all. He is being weird.
mollyk124
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2016 at 10:21 AM
1 mom liked this
It's not like your taking your kid to Disneyland and discluding your SKs. I think what you're doing is just fine. Your kid needs one-on-one time.
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