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He doesn't have any life insurance for his wife and child

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 64 Replies
My ex found out that he is dying. He has terminal cancer. We have a child together. When we went to mediation we both agreed to each have a $250,000 policy in each other's names. It was very clear that that money would only go to the other person. If either one of us had a spouse or other children we would need to get a separate policy for them.

Well my ex never got another policy. He said it's just never something he thought about. He got the $250,000 policy years ago and it is taken automatically out of his account every month. He never got around to getting a new policy for his wife. They have been married for 2 years and have a one-year-old together.

After he told me that he didn't have a policy for her and was terrified about what was going to happen to her and their baby, I reached out. I offered to pay up to $10,000 to pay for the funeral. I also offered to give her $25,000 to help get on her feet additionally $15,000 to start a college fund for the baby. All together that is $50,000 that I do not have to hand over. But I feel bad for her and while I'm certainly not rolling in money I can afford to give her that.

I thought that this might bring some relief to her instead she got angry. She told me that that wasn't nearly enough and that she's entitled to half of the policy and I should still pay for half of the funeral or my dd won't be invited! I told her that I understand she is in a devastating situation right now so I'm going to pretend she didn't say that. She called me back the next day and said that she thought it over and really doesn't think it's fair that I'm getting so much her so little and that she is prepared to fight me in court for it. I told her that she can go to court all she wants but I am the benefactor on the policy and due to the court order he can't change that. Even if he went and changed it right now she still wouldn't get the money because our court order entitles me to a $250,000 policy. Besides he already told me that even if he wanted to he couldn't change the benefactor because the policy does not allow any changes made to be in effect until 90 days after he changes the policy ( unless he's changing the benefactor due to death or divorce) And he likely isn't going to live another 90 days.

I told her if she takes me to court I will counter-sue for all legal fees and she won't see a dime from me. I understand she's going through a hard time but that's not my fault. I also was not the one who neglected to make sure he had a policy for her and their child. But still I'm reaching out and offering help. I believe if I hear anything about it I'm going to tell her every time she brings it up I'm taking $5,000 what I'm willing to give her
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 6, 2016 at 12:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 6, 2016 at 12:57 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 6, 2016 at 12:58 PM
1 mom liked this
Congratulations on being a decent human being.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 6, 2016 at 12:59 PM
Lol thanks. I have had some people who have talked to you asking if I'm getting anything at all. And after her behavior it's hard to but I'm thinking about the child.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Congratulations on being a decent human being.
Lillibella
by Ruby Member on Aug. 6, 2016 at 1:00 PM

A new twist on the same post.

Life insurance is meant to help those that are financially impacted by the death of the person the policy covers. In this case, that would be his children and spouse.

Now, if he didn't bother to specify that, that's his problem.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 6, 2016 at 1:02 PM
I doubt I'm the first one to go through issues regarding custody and life insurance. Life insurance is to help those that the deceased is leaving behind. Which is why he specifically had a policy to help me raise our daughter. Unfortunately he did not have a policy for his wife and son

Quoting Lillibella:

A new twist on the same post.

Life insurance is meant to help those that are financially impacted by the death of the person the policy covers. In this case, that would be his children and spouse.

Now, if he didn't bother to specify that, that's his problem.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 6, 2016 at 1:02 PM
I wouldn't give her a dime after that. How old is your DD?
That's awful I hope the wife works
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 6, 2016 at 1:03 PM
1 mom liked this
Why would you not just give her half? Have some respect for the impending death of the father of your child, and your child's half sibling. If you care for him at all you would give him some peace before he dies. Unbelievable.
Shadowgirl113
by Silver Member on Aug. 6, 2016 at 1:04 PM
1 mom liked this
You're being more then generous. They can have a funeral for under 10k, that's not hard. It's sweet of you to help them and start their child's college fund. I assume because of the policy you and your ex were married for quite a while, so yes, his death effects you financially as well.

She should be grateful sense you have no legal obligation to share and carry the tax duties as well on your income.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 6, 2016 at 1:05 PM
I have a similar set up with my ex husband through the divorce. The insurance is intended to cover our daughters expenses and pay off the home he lives in so we could take it over. If he does remarry the new wife would have no legal right to his home as I'm the benefactor as long as our daughter is a minor. It's on him to tell a new woman those details and on them to set up their own provisions. I think you're being more than fair when in reality they could receive nothing
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 6, 2016 at 1:05 PM
No, you're not. Someone posts this same scenario every few months

Quoting Anonymous 1: I doubt I'm the first one to go through issues regarding custody and life insurance. Life insurance is to help those that the deceased is leaving behind. Which is why he specifically had a policy to help me raise our daughter. Unfortunately he did not have a policy for his wife and son

Quoting Lillibella:

A new twist on the same post.

Life insurance is meant to help those that are financially impacted by the death of the person the policy covers. In this case, that would be his children and spouse.

Now, if he didn't bother to specify that, that's his problem.  

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