• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Who is right?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies
I am having baby number 4. It was a bit of a surprise we always planned on having four but we had planned on waiting a little bit longer. But my husband and I both agree this baby is the last.

In the past we've always talked about when we were done he would have a vasectomy. It was never something he was thrilled about but he always kind of agreed to it, acknowledging that it made the most sense. Now that the prospect is less than a year away he doesn't want to. He has been very clear he doesn't want any more children after this one but he doesn't want to get a vasectomy.

So at this point the options are either we risk havinv number 5 (and 6, 7, 8) which neither of us really want to do, I have to take the pill knowing that I'm only going to be 29 when this one is born so I could theoretically be taking the pill for another 20 years. Every birth control pill I have tried had negative side effects. Some make me break out really bad, some made me very nauseated, all of them cause me to gain or not be able to lose weight. Which seems silly for me to have to deal with for 20 years. I could get an IUD but I've heard women having some serious problems with that such as having them dislodge and be in extreme pain and even serious infections. And again I'd have to get a new one every 5 years. The last option would be for me to get my tubes to tide preferably while in the hospital. But this seems like a ridiculous option as well. I will have just given birth to her fourth child. And when you get your tubes tied they do not give you any more time in the hospital. So I'm going to be in pain from my vaginal birth and probably an episiotomy and then have to deal with the pain from having my tubes tied. I will also be very limited on what pain medicine I can take because I will be breastfeeding. It should also be noted that I am a stay-at-home mom. My husband usually does not take any extra time off of work when I have a baby. He takes the time off work when I'm in the hospital and maybe the day after but nothing more. So I would be home with 3 kids and a newborn recovering from a vaginal delivery AND a tubal. All of these options seem completely ridiculous next to the option of him getting a vasectomy (and he Works full-time but works long shifts so has usually four at the very least three days off a week from work, so he could do it without taking any time off of work) and having an ice pack on his crotch for 48 hours.

Am I being unreasonable?
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:31 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:31 AM
Bump
702girly
by on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:34 AM

I think he's an asshole. 

LuLu7000
by Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:35 AM

I think you are over estimating the pain in getting your tubes tied.  I had mind done without having giving birth with almost no recovery time.  I was back to normal the next day.

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:35 AM
I'd just get my tubes tied.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:36 AM
No you're not being unreasonable and your husband is being a selfish whimpy ass. Tell him to suck it up and get over himself. I can't imagine how he could watch you push four kids out of your vagina and think he had a leg to stand on here. My husband tried to say he didn't want to get a vasectomy but he KNEW what a puss he sounded like and he laughed at himself right along with me. He knew it was too bad, after all Id gone through (and we only had 2) that was the least he could do.
krazymom2boyz
by Platinum Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:36 AM
Nope. Hubby had a vasectomy several years ago and it wasn't a big deal. Tell your DH to man up and ask him if he really wants you to undergo a serious surgery. His is a couple snips, ice, and a couple of days sitting around.
OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:36 AM
2 moms liked this

No, I don't think so.

My husband has a 3-year deadline.

He goes and gets snippy-snippy or we don't fucky-fucky.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:36 AM
It's different when you have it done right after giving birth. For several reasons but this is according to my OBGYN. And it's not really an option for me to go get it done any other time. Or at least it would be a lot more of a hassle for me to do so then it would be for my husband. Even if it doesn't hurt at all and it doesn't extend my recovery time at all I only get 2 Days in the hospital recovery until I come home and have to be back to taking care of the kids and the household and everything. I don't want to spend a part of one of those days having surgery. I need all the rest and bonding with baby time that I can get

Quoting LuLu7000:

I think you are over estimating the pain in getting your tubes tied.  I had mind done without having giving birth with almost no recovery time.  I was back to normal the next day.

dedhed
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:36 AM
I also think he is a selfish asshole
mischele
by Platinum Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this
After our 4th Dh and I both had surgery. Neither of us wanted anymore kids. Dh took one day off work and I had no issues. Didn't need pain meds
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)