Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I guess facebook is the root of all evil SMH

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 151 Replies

So I never have had a reason to distrust dh. However, In the beginning of our marriage I found out that he still is friends with some of his ex grgirlfriend from back home and even where we resided. Theywould still send him messages calling him love or babes and that kind of things when we first started. After we go0t serious I let him know how I felt that was inappropriate and I felt uncomfortable about the borderline friendship. Sure he stop and we carried on. Fast forward to today now being married for a year and been together 4 years. I see a post of one of his ex girlfriend and I ask him who she was because I vaguely remembered her. He gave me a very nervous answer. So the noisy in me started digging through his fb. I know I should not have done that but I did. Their conversation went on about their past relationship and they were reminiscing about it and how he regrets the way things ended and how things would have been  if there were still together.  It upset me even more when he started telling her about their intimate moment and how much she liked him doing this and that to her. So I lost it and confronted him about it. He of course now has deleted the text messages and trying to make me look like I'm crazy and I don't know what I read smh. Sure I may be wrong for going through his messages but I also feel he has crossed that line that should not have been crossed and betrayed my trust. Its one thing to have a hi how have you been conversation from reminiscing about the past about what could, should of but didn't happen.  I'm so upset at him right now. Sorry for the rant or if i don't make any sense. I just needed to get this out because its killing me. Has anybody here experience anything like this? How have you handle it? I'm so mad that he is not accepting his wrong doing all he sees is me going thought his phone. Which by the way I didn't do it behind his back we usually look at each others phone with no problems.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 18, 2016 at 12:30 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
firespurity
by Emerald Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 12:34 PM
11 moms liked this
I don't know. He'll lie until the cows come home. You need to tell him plainly that you know damn well what you saw. Let him know continuing the lie is further damaging your trust. Continuing to deny comes across as an attempt to continue the behavior. That you do not appreciate his attempt to gaslight you, that gas lighting is a very painful form of abuse. If he wants to continue to have a healthy marriage he needs to come clean NOW.

If he keeps denying, you have your answer about where your marriage stands with him.
sandylanes270
by Platinum Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this
This whole business busted men do where they delete all the supposed innocent evidence and then try to deny really infuriates me for their women.

I would be in his face telling him that he either tells the truth or I'm out and I'd mean it. I'm not going to play games.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 I absolutely agree its insane and its killing me. I told him we all have past and I accept that but to try to keep reliving that past sends a big red flag.  I reminded him how when he and I got serious I had a relationship to which I needed closure to end that chapter in my life and let go of that hate. I did it and I told him about it so that there were not misunderstandings between us. Yet here he stands and is able to blatantly lie to my face with so much ease. I am so disappointed in him. I will be sending him a big message today. Im packing my bags and going to leave until he gets his shit back together and want to come clean and either work on saving our marriage or not. Not sure if that is the right thing to do but right now I cant even stand to look him in the face.

Quoting firespurity: I don't know. He'll lie until the cows come home. You need to tell him plainly that you know damn well what you saw. Let him know continuing the lie is further damaging your trust. Continuing to deny comes across as an attempt to continue the behavior. That you do not appreciate his attempt to gaslight you, that gas lighting is a very painful form of abuse. If he wants to continue to have a healthy marriage he needs to come clean NOW. If he keeps denying, you have your answer about where your marriage stands with him.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:37 PM
1 mom liked this

 I did give him another chance to come clean and he keeps denying it so I told him how dissapointed I was in him and left. All he could to was keep trying to tell me that I read wrong and those conversations never happened. Havent talked to him all day. Seems like he just dont give a damn.

Quoting sandylanes270: This whole business busted men do where they delete all the supposed innocent evidence and then try to deny really infuriates me for their women. I would be in his face telling him that he either tells the truth or I'm out and I'd mean it. I'm not going to play games.

 

maliksmama2
by Gold Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:37 PM
1 mom liked this
The Facebook isn't the problem. He is. I'd be done at that point. He won't even admit he's wrong so how are you supposed to fix the problem? I'm sorry, what a dick.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:38 PM

Honestly I probably would have handled it the same way but with more screaming on my end. I am not like a lot of these women who will be mean about you snooping because I would have done the same thing. I would have confronted him too and called him out on deleted the messages. What he did was wrong and it makes him look even worse by still being upset with you when he should be apologizing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:38 PM
1 mom liked this
Kinds sounds like he is looking to cheat and would given the opportunity. Like, he's one of those guys that are as faithful as their options.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:40 PM

 I really would have wished I had the opportunity to print or save those messages so that I could through it in his face smh. I use Facebook but I respect my marriage and him. Marriage is very sacred to me but apparently I'm realizing he thinks otherwise smh

Quoting Anonymous 2: Id be pissed and I would have confronted him and lol also printed or screen shot the messages. Facebook ruins lives.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:42 PM

 Its very heartbreaking to realize I married a butt-head!

Quoting maliksmama2: The Facebook isn't the problem. He is. I'd be done at that point. He won't even admit he's wrong so how are you supposed to fix the problem? I'm sorry, what a dick.

 

angl_mama35
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:42 PM

i had caught my first husband telling women that he was a single dad that got to see his son every other weekend. he told them this while married to me. i sure made his wish come true. i left his lying cheating ass

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)