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If you never knew one of your parents

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies
How would it make you feel if you finally connected and they weren't what you thought, or how you hoped. If they weren't a good person and pretty much a hot mess, would it matter to you?


I know a 34 year old man who just got out of prison. This was one of a dozen incarceration. He stole from his dad and his very sick mom. He hasn't ever had a steady job or done anything with his life. Some day his son might want to find him and if he does I wonder if he'll regret it?
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 18, 2016 at 7:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 7:45 PM
I can't even imagine what I'd think or who'd I'd be. I am who I am because of the two parents who've raised me. I can't imagine anyone would be happy about having a loser for a biological parent.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 7:50 PM
I actually was in that situation a few years ago. My dad gave up his rights and I hadn't seen him in almost 20 years.
At first he was great, but then he got mad at me for talking to my child (2.5yo) one time and said I needed to beat her because she was being loud.
He got mad at me for playing on my phone while everyone was watching golf, a subject I find extremely boring. Apparently, I was supposed to watch it with them.
He would get irrationally angry while talking about mundane subjects. And I just... I don't really want anything to do with him anymore.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 7:52 PM
Me either but then again I never had a missing parent. I had two great parents. I wonder if after people find a parent like that who's a loser if they bother to have a relationship with them or not? It seems like it would be such a let down.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I can't even imagine what I'd think or who'd I'd be. I am who I am because of the two parents who've raised me. I can't imagine anyone would be happy about having a loser for a biological parent.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 7:55 PM
I'm sorry it worked out like that but I don't blame you one bit.

Quoting Anonymous 3: I actually was in that situation a few years ago. My dad gave up his rights and I hadn't seen him in almost 20 years.
At first he was great, but then he got mad at me for talking to my child (2.5yo) one time and said I needed to beat her because she was being loud.
He got mad at me for playing on my phone while everyone was watching golf, a subject I find extremely boring. Apparently, I was supposed to watch it with them.
He would get irrationally angry while talking about mundane subjects. And I just... I don't really want anything to do with him anymore.
mmm2015
by Eldouchedegrande on Aug. 18, 2016 at 7:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I know the parent who I never met (well I met as a toddler but have no memory of. )

isn't a good person. I don't have to see his face to know that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 8:00 PM
How do you know he isn't a good person?

Quoting mmm2015:

I know the parent who I never met (well I met as a toddler but have no memory of. )

isn't a good person. I don't have to see his face to know that.

mmm2015
by Eldouchedegrande on Aug. 18, 2016 at 8:02 PM

Edit sorry.

Because he would beat the shit out of my brothers, he was a drunk, he mentally abused my mother and oh yea - abandoned his 5 children.


Quoting Anonymous 1: How do you know he isn't a good person?
Quoting mmm2015:

I know the parent who I never met (well I met as a toddler but have no memory of. )

isn't a good person. I don't have to see his face to know that.


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Jojobug13
by Ruby Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 8:06 PM
I met my Dad when I was 30. He isn't a bad person. But he's a flake. He tells me everything I want to hear...and then disappears and doesn't contact me for months at a time.

Ive come to terms with it. I like talking to him when he does contact me/actually answers his phone. I don't expect much. I just feel lucky my mom was such an amazing,lovng woman and treat him more like an acquaintance.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 8:07 PM
I lived my whole life thinking my dad was dead and he never knew my mom was pregnant with me...


My 1/2 sister called me a year ago.... My father lives in Ohio, he took my 1/2 sister to meet me and my (only full blood older) sister when I was born. She was 8 and remembered it her whole life so she finally asked our dad about it..... He told her everything and she called my grandfather's house (the number dad gave her) and my grandpa called me... He gave me her number and I called her back.

There are 9 of us! 4 girls and 5 brothers... It goes,

Brother(mom #1)
Her(mom 2)
My sister(mom 3)
Her brother(mom 2)
Brother/sister(twins) (mom4)
Brother(mom4)
Sister(mom 5)
Me.(mom 3)

My sister(only full sister I grew up with and have met) and I are 18months and 2 days apart in age...
My mom had my sister, dad walked out and when my sister was 8 months old he came back crying... Their relationship ship only lasted a month and he took off again.... My mom found out she was pregnant with me and told me she never told him...

Well.. He's still a loser and my sister said that although he was in and out of her life he always brought her and her brother presents... And he was there for most holidays...

But he was a dick and she didn't have any wonderful or Amazing memories with him.. He was just kind of there sometimes...

I've talked to him on the phone a couple times... But that was right after Nicole called me..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 8:08 PM

I met my dad when I was 20. He's not bad, per se, just never moved on from tragedy and from his own failings. I wish I'd never met him.

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