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I cannot believe what came out of DS's mouth yesterday

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 40 Replies
I had my kiddo (5) with me at the food store yesterday. He had been a great helper and I let him pick a small toy as a reward and he was in a great mood. We get to the checkout, and as I'm unloading, he looked at the cashier and said, "Why are you so big and fat? That's gross!" My jaw hit the floor - as did those of every other patron, and the cashier turned 10 shades of purple and said, "That's not nice."

I made him apologize twice and he lost the toy, and after he had a total meltdown, we had a talk about how everyone is special in their own way and that words can hurt as much as fists. He had just gotten back from 5 days at his dad's house (his dad and his dad's family are INCREDIBLY shallow people. His mom, in her 70s, has the nickname "queenie" because when she was like 15 she won some Podunk beauty contest and has held onto it ever since, for example). I was raised polar opposite - my parents have always taught me to look for the good in people and I was the anti-bully in school - friends with everyone, would stick up for kids being bullied. I'm not perfect, but when I look at someone I can honestly say I don't immediately start judging weight or looks or clothes.

I tried to email my ex about it, and surprise surprise, no answer. I can't stand that my kiddo is picking up such horrible traits - and I'm at a loss for how to try to combat the bad stuff. I had a friend growing up that used to tell me, "The mud doesn't get glove-y" (no clue where she got the saying - but it means if you stick a new glove in a bucket of mud, the glove gets muddy - the mud doesn't get glove-y, like the bad stuff rubs off and not the other way around.).

Anyone else here have a similar situation? How did you handle it/how are you handling it?
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:14 AM
Kids call it as they see it ...no filter , gotta teach them
Marivilla
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:15 AM
Omg I would have smacked my kid!! Gah that's so embarrassing!!! You did the right thing though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:18 AM
I was mortified - and everyone of course was staring at me like I was the one teaching him things like that!

Quoting Marivilla: Omg I would have smacked my kid!! Gah that's so embarrassing!!! You did the right thing though.
CFM23
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:18 AM
I think all you can do is talk to him. Teach him compassion and empathy.
Mama8080
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this
Uh so embarrassing.

My son went through a period asking questionable people if they were boys or girls. Usually I couldn't tell either.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:20 AM
That's just it - she wasn't really "big and fat." I'm a size 6. She may have been a size 8 or 10. So it's not like she was that different from someone that he should consider "normal" - and it definitely sounds like something that came out of a teen/20-something year old's mouth.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Kids call it as they see it ...no filter , gotta teach them
ShaMac
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:21 AM
That would be the worst.

Keep driving home that it was inappropriate and rude. Talk about making personal comments and how that shouldn't be done. I usually point out that if it is something that the person saying would be hurt by they shouldn't be saying it.


Quoting Anonymous 1: I was mortified - and everyone of course was staring at me like I was the one teaching him things like that!

Quoting Marivilla: Omg I would have smacked my kid!! Gah that's so embarrassing!!! You did the right thing though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:22 AM
I think the challenge for me is I'm not supposed to badmouth his dad. But how do you teach a kid "the things you're hearing at dad's house are completely wrong" while not telling him his dad is wrong?

Quoting CFM23: I think all you can do is talk to him. Teach him compassion and empathy.
Spare.Time
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:22 AM

Wow do you handle every thing with violence and abuse?

Quoting Marivilla: Omg I would have smacked my kid!! Gah that's so embarrassing!!! You did the right thing though.


MenopauseManiac
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:23 AM

If you don't consider a size 10 normal then apparently he does get it from you.

Quoting Anonymous 1: That's just it - she wasn't really "big and fat." I'm a size 6. She may have been a size 8 or 10. So it's not like she was that different from someone that he should consider "normal" - and it definitely sounds like something that came out of a teen/20-something year old's mouth.
Quoting Anonymous 2: Kids call it as they see it ...no filter , gotta teach them


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