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It's hard to co-parent with mentally ill

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

My ex is bipolar and paranoid. We have a 17 year old together.

Anyway, last month he became homeless. I don't know what he spent the 2000 bucks he gets for disability (SSDI, VA,  and SSI for our son) but it wasn't for rent.

So our ds has been with me since. On Thursdaynight/Friday morning, midnight to 4am, we had a hurricane here in Florida. Y'all might remember Hermine.

My ex calls our ds at 1 am to see if he wants to get something to eat! Tress are falling, high winds, torrential rain, all coming in severe bands. And the moron is driving around in it!

My son looks at me and says, "I shouldn't go, right?" I mean, I don't talk to his dad, he was abusive and has been a parental alientator for years. So we never have phone conversations. Just a very occasional text dealing with our ds. 

I told ds to tell his dad to find somewhere safe to go. Damn. His money came in so he wants to get something to eat.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:55 AM

How old is your son?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:58 AM
2 moms liked this
Your mentally ill ex had custody of your son?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 12:04 PM

Yep. 50/50. Even after taking our son and disappearing for 7 months. Even after proof of his various physical and mental illnesses. Because it is what ds WANTS, according to the awful new judge we had.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Your mentally ill ex had custody of your son?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 12:04 PM

DS is 17.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

How old is your son?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 12:10 PM

Probably have to explain the illness to your son if you haven't already.  I have a friend who is bipolar; we dated long ago briefly.   we've remained friends and he's managed to stay a functioning member of society.  At least now he knows what is wrong and is on meds.  I do know after years of trying that I can't make him better and your son will have to learn that too.  It sucks rocks but it is what it is.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Yep. 50/50. Even after taking our son and disappearing for 7 months. Even after proof of his various physical and mental illnesses. Because it is what ds WANTS, according to the awful new judge we had.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Your mentally ill ex had custody of your son?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 12:12 PM
Ahh! I'm kinda with you. Ex is the same way, except he doesn't have money coming in and he's also a drug addict (trying to medicate himself. Somehow heroin is an easier answer than finding the right medications).

But I'm lucky that we don't have to deal with my ex that much. He'll continuously call when he's locked up but when he's out in the street, we're usually left alone. He also never sees ds and will never take him anywhere, an "over my dead body" kind of deal.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 12:17 PM

Ok, I had this image of a little boy wondering if it was all right to go with dad in the middle of a hurricane.  Does he handle his dad well or does it shake him up?  I can see how it would.

I'm sure it's very hard to co-parent with your ex.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

DS is 17.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

How old is your son?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 12:22 PM
Sounds like what Linda's ex is going to be dealing with in the future.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 3:35 PM

Well, since the breakup in 2012, it's been "My dad and I are all we need. He's my best friend. You are nothing and as soon as I'm 18, I'm out of here. I'm going to live with my dad and we'll go whereever we want" and the like.

His father is terminal. He will not be alive 5 years from now, so I think it's fucking cruel to make your child your best friend when you are going to DIE. Dumbass.

Lately, DS has been reconsidering living with his dad full time though. I think he's seeing some cracks, since, you know, his dad is HOMELESS and I took both my ds and their f-ing cats in. Hmmm, maybe mom is not such a terrible person.

This kind of b.s. does shake up ds a bit. But, that's good. He needs to take his dad off the pedestal.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Ok, I had this image of a little boy wondering if it was all right to go with dad in the middle of a hurricane.  Does he handle his dad well or does it shake him up?  I can see how it would.

I'm sure it's very hard to co-parent with your ex.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

DS is 17.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

How old is your son?




Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 3:40 PM
You really should consider a mental health evaluation for yourself.

Quoting September-days: I can only imagine what it's like for you to co-parent with him.



Oh the up side , know you're not alone. There are many women on this site with a mental illness just like your ex. Can you imagine what it's like for their ex's or spouses? From what I hear there are cliques of them egging each other on. I feel sorry for their spouses .
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