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Sorry but until you get rid of the cats she's not coming over

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 60 Replies
I have a 9 year old with my ex. She is highly allergic to cats. My daughter cannot go over to friends houses who have cats, even if the cats stay out of the room where she is. She's just that allergic. She takes an allergy pill everyday and she does get regular allergy shots which basically puts her to the point where she comes and accidental contact with a cat or someone has been holding a cat she won't have a horrible reaction but it's still not fun and that covers maybe sitting next to somebody who has cat hair on them for 5 minutes or something like that.

My ex just moved his girlfriend in. She has 3 cats. His house is set up so that there are 3 bedrooms upstairs and then the downstairs is an open floor plan with the kitchen living room and dining room and that's pretty much it. My ex called me and told me that his girlfriend does have cats and the cats are moving in but when daughter comes over she can just sleep downstairs and they kept the cats upstairs. I told him that in no way is that good enough. For starters our agreement that we both signed in mediation that is legally binding says that daughter has to have a bedroom in each of our homes. I wanted that in there because she spends the night at his house every other weekend. She should not feel like a guest who is Couchsurfing. Her father's home should feel like her second home.

After that conversation I text messaged him saying that until the cats are removed from the home permanently she will not be going over there. Even if they truly can keep the cats upstairs they're going to have cat hair on them. I just don't see a way to prevent an allergic reaction. Especially with there being three cats. He texted me back saying that his girlfriend is not going to get rid of her cat and that one of them is only a year old so likely at least one of those cats will be in the home until after daughter is grown so my daughter needs to get used to it. I'm sorry but an allergy is not something you can get used to. She has had her pediatrician and allergist say that while there are things that we can do to head off an allergic reaction she is never going to be able to be safe around a cat.

After that I had to file an emergency hearing with the courts. After seeing the doctors notes from both her pediatrician and allergist and seeing the text message that my ex sent the judge 100% took my side. He told my ex that he absolutely needs to uphold his agreement about our daughter having a bedroom in his house and that my daughter is not take visitation at his house until those cats are gone and the whole house has been thoroughly cleaned. He also warned him that if my daughter suffers an allergic reaction to cats over at his house either because they didn't clean well enough or because they didn't get rid of the cats he will suspend his visitation and give him supervised visitation only.

And you know my ex took from all of that, I'm trying to break him and his girlfriend up. Yes that's it, I'm super jealous. Forget the fact that I have been married for 5 years and have 2 children with my husband I'm just super jealous, it has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting my child to be able to breathe or anything. On top of that if this woman won't give up her cats so that our daughter can breathe, and seriously expected me to risk my child's health and safety so that she can keep her cats I can't imagine she would have been a great step mother anyway so I'm really hoping that this ends the relationship.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:38 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:41 PM
Well
His lost
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:42 PM

Of all the things that didn't happen today this didn't happen the most,  try harder next time!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:43 PM
A pet will never be as important as a child in my home
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:44 PM
I've seen somebody posting Anonymous in that same lettering word for word exactly that on like 4 posts at least today.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

Of all the things that didn't happen today this didn't happen the most,  try harder next time!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:44 PM
That's how I feel. And what blows my mind is that it's not like she just developed this allergy after the girlfriend moved in with her cats. My ex was well aware that my daughter is allergic to cats when the girlfriend moved in with her 3 cats.

Quoting Anonymous 4: A pet will never be as important as a child in my home
Sweet_Eagle
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:46 PM
As a fellow cat allergy sufferer I TOTALLY get it. Sleeping in house with cats is the thing nightmares are made of...

As a dedicated pet owner (dogs), this makes me so sad. That would be super tough for the GF to give up her cats.

:( That sounds like a tough situation.
momof2boy2girl
by Valerie on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:46 PM
This. I love my pets, but if one of the kids developed an allergy I would find them new homes.

Quoting Anonymous 4: A pet will never be as important as a child in my home
BabyBrooke13
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:49 PM

i sypathize with your dd as I too have a severe allergy to cats . . . thank you for standing up for her health . . . too many people think its a joke because while cat dander isnt like peanuts or other severe allergins that can cause anaphilaxis, the immune response it can trigger (in my case asthma) can be horrible . . .

It speaks volumes about her father's character that he's prioritizing a gf and her cats over his own dd . . .

mojogirl
by Ouiser Boudreaux on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:49 PM

sounds like it worked out ok. what's your daughter think of all this?

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