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She doesn't like "dark dolls".

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 37 Replies
My 7yo DD is very dark :-) She has very dark black hair, dark brown eyes, and dark skin, especially during summer times. Many people think that she is mix (Black or Mexican, we are neither)

Anyhow, last year I started to notice that she would say that she is not beautiful and started playing with Blond dolls (she has dolls of all colors). I would tell her how beautiful she looks and she would say that she's not beautiful, but Michelle is. (Michelle is a girl in her class, she has very blond hair and blue eyes). I would ask her why she thinks that Michelle is more beautiful, and she would say: "Michelle is blond and has blur eyes and I'm dark and ugly."

So, yesterday we went to toys r us to get a baby alive doll and she picked the whitest one. I asked why she wants this one and she responded that she doesn't like dark dolls and light dolls are beautiful.

It breaks my heart that she thinks that she has to be Blond to be beautiful. I tried to explain to her that it doesn't matter if you are light or dark. Every girl is beautiful, but for some reason she has this picture in her head. I don't get it, especially that non of our family members are blond. I don't know how to change her mind. I need advice.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Eva.Destruction
by Sofakingreal on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:23 PM
I had the same issue with my DD14 the best advice I can tell you is to reiterate that her black is beautiful. And that there of beautiful people all over with different "shades"
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:24 PM
I don't get why she thinks only blondes are beautiful. It could just be her preference. All my kids are blonde with blue eyes and my daughter usually goes for the blonde dolls, but that's because she likes that they look like her.
I would just talk about how people in general are pretty/beaut and that's it's how a person acts that makes them truly beautiful.
Pink.Sunshine
by Petty Princess on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:24 PM
1 mom liked this
Media, tv and society is feeding self-hate into these young girls from young. I'm dark-skinned and have never felt this way about myself. I had insecurities, but none of them stemmed from my complexion. I always thought I was beautiful. I guess all you can do is keep showing her positive role-models that look like her and let her know how beautiful she is
tsatske2
by Latricia on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell her fairy tales with beautiful dark princesses. Like tell her snow white and go on about snow whites beautiful hair as black as ivory. watch disney princess  movies with the princesses of other races. Things like that. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:28 PM
Some little asshat at school is probably reading her because she isn't pale.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:29 PM
I think it's just what she likes. My DD is blond with blue eyes and she will go for black dolls. It's not unusual for kids to be drawn to something that is outside of their appearance. Just keep reminding her she is beatific.
Tinse
by Crazy Bird Lady on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:30 PM

I didn't like any dolls when I was a kid...I used to pull their heads off!

I liked building toys and train sets, toys that boys like.

My favourite toy when I was a kid was an easel with a chalkboard on it, and my coloured chalk.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:32 PM
Tell her all those pale blonde girls will grow up to be jealous of her gorgeous tan skin and dark hair ;)
SaskMummy
by Mandy on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:34 PM

I am Caucasian, and I felt the same growing up that blondes and skinny girls were the most beautiful.. I still feel that way sometimes..

Mommy2Bri425
by on Oct. 22, 2016 at 2:54 PM

I have no advice and I'm so glad that I don't. When I was a little girl, I loved everything about being black and now my daughter is the same way. To her, brown (because she still is at that age where everything is so literal) is beautiful to her. When I gave her the option to pick whatever Disney princess she wanted, she went straight for Tiana. 

I wish I could actually meet these kids that hate being black so much because I've personally never experienced this. I have other issues with my child, but loving her blackness definitely isn't one of them.

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