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S/O. Three Year Olds And Hair

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:05 PM
  • 13 Replies
The swimming class hair post reminded me of this.

There were 3 girls sitting together and talking in my class the other day...2 of them 3yo and one almost 4yo. R is Black with braided hair (new style that day), J is Guyanese with very thick, wavy hair half up in a ponytail, and A is Asian with fine, straight hair. I happened to walk past just as A asked R "How do you get your hair like that?" Of course I eavesdropped on a perfectly mundane and matter of fact give and take among the three about how each Mommy does the hair and who hates which part and what tools are used, etc. And yes, they each took a turn touching each other's hair.

None of them have any idea that they each now know more about another culture's hair than plenty of grownups do. The only thing they don't know is that they weren't supposed to have the conversation at all because people think it's rude. And I sure didn't clue them in!!

Don't text and drive.  

by on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:07 PM
I wasn't aware it's rude to talk about liking someone else's hairstyle and asking how to do it.
MrsBieg
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:12 PM
There are many who don't believe its okay for white folks to ask about or ask to touch black hair and vice versa. And if you read the swimming class post, its pretty clear that it's about black hair, but so many comments on the first page illustrate that it's not obvious to all.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I wasn't aware it's rude to talk about liking someone else's hairstyle and asking how to do it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:14 PM
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My daughter's only a quarter Asian. I know nothing about Asian hair, but her hair always looks and feels so unhealthy and I have no idea what to do about it. And she's a mouthy teen so she doesn't want me bothering her about it. I don't know how to bring up the conversation without her accusing me of being racist. (Which she does a lot.) I wish I'd made her hair a conversation we started a long time ago. I knew her dad's hair was different than mine, and I'd gone with him to the black lady who did his hair because he said you can't trust white people with his hair. I should have known this was something we'd need to talk about.
lizzig
by on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:22 PM

my daughter & i have very similar hair but she wouldn't listen to me about taking care of it.  i took her to the beauty school where i go for my haircuts & while i was signing the permission form for them to do her hair, out of ear shot, i said to the girl to talk to her about hair care & such.  kids are more apt to listen to others, even strangers, about such things, even if they are saying the same thing as you are.  it's like their ears turn off when parents voices start.  perhaps if you have any schools near you you can do the same with your daughter.

Quoting Anonymous 2: My daughter's only a quarter Asian. I know nothing about Asian hair, but her hair always looks and feels so unhealthy and I have no idea what to do about it. And she's a mouthy teen so she doesn't want me bothering her about it. I don't know how to bring up the conversation without her accusing me of being racist. (Which she does a lot.) I wish I'd made her hair a conversation we started a long time ago. I knew her dad's hair was different than mine, and I'd gone with him to the black lady who did his hair because he said you can't trust white people with his hair. I should have known this was something we'd need to talk about.



ms_amanda
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:30 PM
I'm so glad I grew up during an era where political correctness wasn't so overboard!

One if my childhood best friends is from st Vincent island. We went to church together and had so many sleepovers right into teen years. We asked each other many questions about hair and skin. And was never considered rude or racist.

She always made me cry when we fought. She'd say I'm vanilla and she's chocolate and chocolate is so much better. Haha! I loved chocolate so I would cry because she was right! Lmao!
bubbs0809
by Emerald Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't mind questions
Just don't touch my hair
I feel like a puppy when it happens
Someone smelled it awhile ago
Because locs are supposed to stink


Quoting MrsBieg: There are many who don't believe its okay for white folks to ask about or ask to touch black hair and vice versa. And if you read the swimming class post, its pretty clear that it's about black hair, but so many comments on the first page illustrate that it's not obvious to all.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I wasn't aware it's rude to talk about liking someone else's hairstyle and asking how to do it.
MrsBieg
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:34 PM
Lol...we didn't have any black folks here when I was growing up. By the time I net somebody to ask, I was old enough to know better than to ask!

Quoting ms_amanda: I'm so glad I grew up during an era where political correctness wasn't so overboard!

One if my childhood best friends is from st Vincent island. We went to church together and had so many sleepovers right into teen years. We asked each other many questions about hair and skin. And was never considered rude or racist.

She always made me cry when we fought. She'd say I'm vanilla and she's chocolate and chocolate is so much better. Haha! I loved chocolate so I would cry because she was right! Lmao!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:36 PM

There's a big difference between 3-year-olds touching each other's hair and fully grown women touching each other's hair. If the women know each other, then cool. But I've had strangers, even teachers when I was in HS, touch my hair. It is one of the most annoying things ever.

lenashark
by Emerald Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:41 PM
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When there is one black child in the class and they get constantly asked about their hair and have kids constantly grabbing and touching their hair without asking, it can get very old very fast for them. My friend's son was the only black child in the class and they actually had to have a class meeting to tell the kids to stop touching him. Adults shouldn't be asking to touch someones hair because its different in general, it's rude, keep your hands to yourself. Children don't know better. No one is getting mad because an adult said to another adult "I like your hair", it's the constant questions and touching that people get irritated about.

Tinse
by Crazy Bird Lady on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:44 PM
1 mom liked this

When I was a kid, back in the Middle Ages, I didn't see any other kids taking swimming lessons downtown at the Y from other cultures, other than my own. (Caucasian/white).

I don't remember the other kids, anyway, though I remember the song that was on top of the charts at the time ("Cherish" - The Association).

I was a music freak back then, even at that tender age.  I became one when my dad bought me my first LP - an early Beatles LP, of course.

I don't like people touching my stringy blonde hair, nor do I put my paws on other peoples' hair.

One thing I remember from the lessons at the YMCA is the woman who sat at the registration desk.  She had very odd eyes.  One eye was brown, and the other was blue.  The blue eye seemed to pop out of its eye socket - scary to a young kid.  Now her I remember!

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