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I'm dumbfounded again! Update #4

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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I just really upset over this. My husband's wife and I have been having some issues lately, they are mostly small things that have built up over time but never dealt with. For one, she is always texting him during my time. We each get three days a week and we alternate every other Sunday. It's rarely about anything important except for one time when he toilet wouldn't flush. An emergecy, I can see texting or even calling about..but to ask what he wants for dinner when he comes back?? Ridiculous. I have been in this arrangement with them for over five years now and things were okay in the beginning but the tension is gettting to be too. I need to talk to her about it without making myself look weak. 

ETA: Well I took the advice some of you gave and decided to talk to dh first before talking to sw. I pulled him aside before dinner and told him how I was feeling and that it was inappropriate for her to be texting him so much during my time. His advice surprised me.....he said tonight and for the rest of her time (it's her week to get Sunday) to text him as often as I think she contacts him during our time and to see what happens. I said ok, I will try it.

He just left for her section of the house so I won't see him until the morning but now I have to think of good reasons to text him lol. I'm open to suggestions. 

2nd ETA:
So much judgement and UNWANTED advice but I really shouldn't be surprised, given where I'm at! Let me clarify a few things:

1.) I am NOT his mistress! His wife and I have been in a relationship for five years. We share a duplex, I live in one half, she lives in the other. He spends three nights with me, three nights with her, and we alternate Sundays. The "night" starts at 8pm, after our family dinner in which we all eat together with the kids.

2.) We are POLYGAMISTS. Just because it's not for you, doesn't give you a right to try to invalidate my relationship!  Keep your opinions to yourselves if you don't have anything helpful to say! 

3.) I texted him three times last night. He answered each time right away. Breakfast was slightly awkward. I think I might go over to see S (his wife) today after grocery shopping and talk about  it. I can't carry it on the next three nights.  

Edit #3: 

Well that was the weirdest dinner of my life.

I went over to sw's place and asked her if she could talk for a bit before dinner. I told her how I was feeling about the texts and asked her if I bothered her that I texted dh three times last night. She not only said, yes, it did, she said she wants to end our arrangement. I am completely blown away. She has made no actions that would lead me to even possibly think she was thinking about this. I asked her, so you want a divorce? And she said, no. You need to leave.

I didn't say a word and went back home. Dh came home from work and I told him what happened. To put it bluntly, he is PISSED at her. And that brings me to our dinner. We had small talk with the children but her and I did not say one word to each other. I'm sure she knows I talked to him about it. I have no idea what's going to happen now but I have a feeling that won't be the last of many tense dinners.. 

Edit #4: 
WOW, so what a crazy couple days that was! Dh was supposed to stay with SW from thursday-monday morning. After that crazy dinner I didn't hear from him at all until the next morning. Sw was leaving him! He told her he wanted to stay married to both of us and she begged him to kick me out which resulted in them getting into an even bigger fight and her packing up some stuff and leaving HER kids with us! That's why I haven't updated, we had to go to church this morning and now dh took all the kids to his dad's house for the rest of the day. They don't know what's going on, just that other mommy is on "vacation". What a horrible person she is for just leaving them like that! Now I'm here taking a break from cleaning her house, because she trashed it before she left.  We haven't heard from her since she left and I have no idea how to respond if she comes back. 

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:18 PM
5 moms liked this
Yeah... I got nothing. Here's a bump though. I can't wait for the comments
quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:19 PM

good luck with this post..

xiolxuo
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Well what else would you expect with this kind of arrangement?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah, this is just too weird for me.
EarlGrayHot
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:20 PM
4 moms liked this

Do what?  You are sharing a husband with someone and you wonder why things aren't tension free?  You're all crazy.

mcginnisc
by *Claire-Bear* on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:21 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting EarlGrayHot:

Do what?  You are sharing a husband with someone and you wonder why things aren't tension free?  You're all crazy.

Right?? 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:21 PM
1 mom liked this

She is overstepping her boundaries and knows it. 

Quoting xiolxuo: Well what else would you expect with this kind of arrangement?


star33
by Gold Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:22 PM
This. I met a guy I liked, not married, and it didn't work for me. I enjoyed spending time with him, but I couldn't stand in line & wait for my turn.

Quoting xiolxuo: Well what else would you expect with this kind of arrangement?
LeftieX
by Ruby Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:22 PM
2 moms liked this

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 2:23 PM
Oh brother. What do you expect when youre banging someone else's husband and fighting over the same pathetic bone with someone?
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