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Calling all caregivers

Posted by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 6:49 PM
  • 60 Replies
I need advice and support. I am finding myself the head caregiver of my grandma, who raised me and is my mother. This whole thing is new to me so I'm reaching out to others. What are your stories, how have you gotten through it, whatever you want t say, say it
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 6:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 6:58 PM
Bump
Marivilla
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 6:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Here's a bump. I'm not a caregiver but I'm sure I will be soon
DensHag
by Ruby Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 7:04 PM
5 moms liked this
I'm so sorry, hugs to you Mama.

I went to a therapist when my DH was dying from cancer. I called her my "navigator on a really fucked up journey".

There were times I just needed to vent or cry and I could say anything to her and she wasn't upset or offended by it. Certain things just can't be said to loved ones during a time like that...and I wanted to learn how to deal with a crappy situation in a good way. My kids were taking cues from me and I needed to set a good example to them.

I swear she kept me sane through it all.
Medic32
by Go PREDS! on Oct. 27, 2016 at 7:10 PM
3 moms liked this
I am my husband's caregiver. I would STRONGLY suggest getting involved in a caregiver support group either locally or online (your hospice nurse should have resources.

Familyofavet.org doesn't exactly apply to your situation, but it has a TON of caregiver resources.

Caregiver burnout and Role strain is a very REAL thing. Make sure you take 30 min to an hour per day to do something for you. Self care is key. (Exercise, nature walk, yoga, massage, paced breathing, listening to music, etc).

Ask the hospice nurse about respite care. You need to get away for a few hours at least once a week or so, without guilt, or you will eventually become overwhelmed.

I would recommend atarting a phone tree for if/when something happens that you need to notify the family of. That way all you need to do, is make one single call. This can work in reverse as well. You don't need to field 100million calls from nosy family and every random person that tends to come out of the woodwork.

Ask the nurse to show you how to turn her and reposition her properly. Ask her about any and all care and keep a small diary of her daily needs.

I have a folder that I keep a list of his meds, doses, and times taken. His allergies, names and contact info for doctors. Financial info, etc. that way, if it's needed, my mom knows where it is just invade. This may not necessarily apply to you of course.


I'm always here if you have any questions.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 7:13 PM
2 moms liked this
I am in a caregiver support group, and have a caregiver mentor. If she has cancer I can link you to some resources, but otherwise I agree with checking with coordinator or social worker to see if there are specific resources they can connect you with.
xiolxuo
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 7:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I was my grandma's caregiver and I was a caregiver at an ALF for a couple of years.
Johnsmom5892
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 7:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Here's a bump. My heart goes out to you.
ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 7:19 PM
Well luckly, I am a medical assistant so I already have a base knowledge of meds, her care, the turning, everything. I worked for amazing doctors who took me under their wings and taught me so much more than my program did.

The nurse came today because she came home from hospice today. We went over so many things but I never thought to ask about a caregivers group. I looked here but there are no groups here about that.

They gave me paprework to chart all her meds given, the time, ect. I taught it all to my grandpa and cousins who will help when they can.

Im just seeing a side of her I have never see. She's like a child who needs attention. Every few minutes shed say, summer, put this hat on me and take a picture, try this hat, where am I sleeping, where is Opa (her husband). It's different because the old her loved her alone time and this new her, can't stand it.

Quoting Medic32: I am my husband's caregiver. I would STRONGLY suggest getting involved in a caregiver support group either locally or online (your hospice nurse should have resources.

Familyofavet.org doesn't exactly apply to your situation, but it has a TON of caregiver resources.

Caregiver burnout and Role strain is a very REAL thing. Make sure you take 30 min to an hour per day to do something for you. Self care is key. (Exercise, nature walk, yoga, massage, paced breathing, listening to music, etc).

Ask the hospice nurse about respite care. You need to get away for a few hours at least once a week or so, without guilt, or you will eventually become overwhelmed.

I would recommend atarting a phone tree for if/when something happens that you need to notify the family of. That way all you need to do, is make one single call. This can work in reverse as well. You don't need to field 100million calls from nosy family and every random person that tends to come out of the woodwork.

Ask the nurse to show you how to turn her and reposition her properly. Ask her about any and all care and keep a small diary of her daily needs.

I have a folder that I keep a list of his meds, doses, and times taken. His allergies, names and contact info for doctors. Financial info, etc. that way, if it's needed, my mom knows where it is just invade. This may not necessarily apply to you of course.


I'm always here if you have any questions.

Robin-Christine
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 7:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I am a FT caregiver to my SN son,my DF and I take turns going out. We get no outside/respite help. Take care of yourself,it is OK to take time to curl your hair,put on makeup,... I have also lived with my grandparents 24/7,been a private aide  to the elderly and worked long term care. My grandparents I was the only caretaker, when I do elder care I make sure I am part of a team or family is going to help

ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 7:21 PM
It isn't cancer. Her DX is long and very rare but not cancer

Quoting Anonymous 1: I am in a caregiver support group, and have a caregiver mentor. If she has cancer I can link you to some resources, but otherwise I agree with checking with coordinator or social worker to see if there are specific resources they can connect you with.
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