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how to decide to leave my partner?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies

I am so sad. I have been with my partner for 20 years. We have a young child. I no longer find joy in my relationship but can't bear to think about splitting up and not seeing my child every day. how does one make this decision? 

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Fuzzy.Tendrils
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:24 PM
Is it that bad? Can it be fixed?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:32 PM

no. it's just lost of interest in everything, if you get my drift. I just no longer like him. he's a fine dad.  it makes me so sad. 

tsatske2
by Latricia on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:36 PM

Put work into your relaitonship. Love is a daily decision - it's an action, it's what you do. Not every season is easy, but it's worth it. Or at least you haven't given any reason here to think it's not, like being beaten. 

Read 'Light his fire'. If you light his fire, you may be surprised that your get lit in return.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:40 PM
Staying for your child is never a good idea.

If you are completely checked out, maybe you should communicate that either your partner.

Relationships require work. There isn't always joy.
Allysha18
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:41 PM
80/20 rule
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:09 PM

thanks all. it's really hard for me to share so publically even though this is anonymous. I know it's work and believe me I/we have worked at it. I do not enjoy his touch any more. I do not enjoy his company. He has been unemployed since may, and while i know this is not his fault, he is making decisions about his future (ie going back to school) without talking to me despite my asking him to share. his 'quirks' that were once endearing get on my every last nerve. I would rather be at work than with him. I have made up my mind to let go of him but can't find the strength to disrput my daughter's world like this. how do I find the strength? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:11 PM

Why wouldn't you see your child every day?  He doesn't have a job, and you aren't married, so not like there'd be some big divorce and child custody thing.  

Quoting Anonymous 1:

I am so sad. I have been with my partner for 20 years. We have a young child. I no longer find joy in my relationship but can't bear to think about splitting up and not seeing my child every day. how does one make this decision? 


ElephantShoez
by GoGoWaffleMaker on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:12 PM
Is it really worth it to throw away 20 years together? That's such a long time. Have you tried/considered couple's therapy?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:15 PM
1 mom liked this
If you can think of the future and he is not in it and you dont feel sad to be on your own, you are ready to move on.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 29, 2016 at 7:03 AM


Quoting Anonymous 4: If you can think of the future and he is not in it and you dont feel sad to be on your own, you are ready to move on.
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