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I feel bad for one of my friends

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
She lives in Arizona where it's super hot out all the time. She has two special needs children.

She obviously loves her kids and tries to take care or them but her husband is a giant bag of douche.

He emotionally abuses her. Calls her names, tries to get the kids in on it, etc. He tells her he is not obligated to spend time with her or their kids, and leaves for hours on end without taking his phone or telling her where he is going even though she's expressed to him she worries because of how bad the heat gets. She worries he'll be out doing something like a hike and pass out but she won't know because he refuses to take his phone or answer it.

And he berates her for never taking the kids anywhere but refuses to help. Both her kids are runners and he tells her how horrible she is for never taking them anywhere alone yet refuses to help her with them so they can. He is at work so they sit inside all day every day unless they are going to get food. Other than that they do nothing because she can't drive and can't handle both the kids alone with their issues trying to walk places. That and it's so hot out she can't really have them outside too long.

And yet she refuses to leave. She has no job. She sits and takes his berating of her for hours on end daily. She thinks the kids don't know or hear because she thinks they are asleep when it happens but we all know that's not the case for most kids.

I live in another country otherwise I'd help her. I'd put her on a plane but unfortunately flying all them out is way too expensive for me. If we lived closer I'd have gotten her by now.

Anyone else ever dealt with a friend like this? She complains on social media all day about how her asswipe husband treats her but she is not brave enough to leave.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 1, 2016 at 10:24 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 1, 2016 at 10:29 AM

Her life her choices her complete lack of self esteem

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 1, 2016 at 10:35 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 1, 2016 at 11:29 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 1, 2016 at 11:32 AM
Find women's shelters in her area and send her the names and numbers. That's all you can do.
OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on Nov. 1, 2016 at 11:32 AM

The only one who can extract her from her current situation is herself. She accomplishes nothing currently. Offer some real suggestions in the form of contacts for women's shelters and articles to building a divorce and custody case as well as pro-bono lawyers in her area.

You are under no obligation to listen to the wailing and weeping of someone who won't help themselves.

mommytoeandb
by Ruby Member on Nov. 1, 2016 at 11:33 AM
Honestly. Every time she complained, I would ask her what she plans to do. If she just wants to complain, I would change the subject or end the call. At that point, I would assume she gets something out of the relationship and leave it be.

Have you met her husband? Spent time around him?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 1, 2016 at 11:48 AM
I have. I don't know why she doesn't listen. She won't answer when I ask. Sometimes I think about deleting her on social media.

Quoting OwlNuggets:

The only one who can extract her from her current situation is herself. She accomplishes nothing currently. Offer some real suggestions in the form of contacts for women's shelters and articles to building a divorce and custody case as well as pro-bono lawyers in her area.

You are under no obligation to listen to the wailing and weeping of someone who won't help themselves.

quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Nov. 1, 2016 at 11:51 AM

she thrives on the drama..ignore her..

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