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Really? This is too much to ask?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 52 Replies
My inlaws moved in with us last month and will live with us for the forsee able future (until a place in the assistant living opens up, which could be as much as six months because they need a place together.)

Anyway, they don't have to pay anything but 2/7 (we are a family of 5 plus the 2 of them) of all utilities including electric, water and internet. The total works out to be at most $350 which means they pay at most $100 a month. They eat all of their meals with us they have their own bedroom with a private bathroom.

However we've been having a few issues since they moved in. We decided to sit down with them last night and have a talk about these problems and well it didn't exactly go over well.

We are always out of snacks. I buy groceries on Friday there are virtually no snacks come Monday. Then after they eat all the snacks that I bought they go out and buy more stuff and if anybody touches a crumb of what they buy they lose their minds. Despite the fact we only don't have snacks in the house because they ate the majority of what I bought. There have been several discussions about it about how when they're going to eat that many snacks when they go out and buy more they need to consider that a replacement on what they ate. That always ends up being a fight and basically them saying that I'm calling them pigs (which they are acting like). So we told them that while they may eat dinner with us I will clean out a shelf in the fridge and a spot in the freezer for them and a shelf in the pantry but they need to handle their own breakfast lunch and snacks. We will not youch their stuff, they will not ypuch ours. I have gone from spending $175 a week to over $250 a week and like I said half the week we don't have any snacks unless I got back out. I'm certainly not a health food nut but nobody needs to eat that much junk food or at least they especially don't need to eat it on my dime.

The next problem is that they're not helping out around the house. We told them when they mobed in that we did expect them to help but we didn't want to give them a chore chart like they were 10. I mean I would think that a grown woman would offer to do the dishes after another woman just cooked for them. But she never once offers to do that. And anytime I ask her to she rolls her eyes and gets mad because she was going to go do something. They seem to think that as long as they keep their room and their bathroom clean (which I assume they are because I don't go in there) that's all they have to do. So we told them that if they eat dinner with us, they need to do the after dinner dishes and clean the kitchen every night. They also need to load their dishes into the dishwasher when they eat during the day and pick up after themselves in the kitchen when they make themselves food. But that's all I will ask them to do ( in addition to doing their own laundry but I hardly call that a household chore.)

They also have been overriding me with the kids. For example during the day I might tell my four-year-old that he can go watch some TV in the living room. No sooner than he turns on the TV but either mother-in-law or father-in-law will come in and try to take the remote from him. Then I have to come in and referee the situation and explain to whoever it is that it's my TV and I told my child that he could use it. This is just one of the few things but they seem to think that even if my kids are doing something that I told them that they could do they have to right to override it because "they're older". They also think they have the right to tell my kids to be quiet when they are playing in their rooms because in-laws are trying to take a nap. Well sorry but my kids live here and they play in their bedrooms. I'm not going to make them tiptoe around the house because the in-laws want to take a nap. If you are truly that tired you should be able to take a nap with a little bit of noise. If they can't do that maybe they should have reconsidered if moving into a house with 3 children was a good idea. We told them that I need to stop bossing the kids around and that unless they are doing something dangerous they need to come to us if the kids are doing something they don't like. And they need to understand that we are the parents. Just because they're older does not mean they get automatic use of the TV or anything else that they want.

Well like I said it did not exactly go well. With each point we made they wanted to argue about it. They told us how we were being disrespectful especially about the issues with the kids. We flat out told them that this is the way it's going to be. They can either accept this and abide by these rules or find somewhere else to stay. The way they spoke to us, you would think we were being totally unreasonable.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:46 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:50 PM

Oy. Good luck.

quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

lol @six months..this time next year they will STILL be there and they will act like they own the place..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:54 PM
Thanks

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Oy. Good luck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:55 PM
No we told them that six months is the max. At that point if they don't find the most place in the Assisted Living the center then they're going to have to figure something else out. Maybe go to the one that's not quite as nice. In fact I might tell them that if they're still here in 3 months they need to put on the list for the one that's not as nice because the waiting list isn't nearly as long

Quoting quinnsmom715:

lol @six months..this time next year they will STILL be there and they will act like they own the place..

SergeantSausage
by Ruby Member on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Sadly, some here will actually be on their side. Lol
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:58 PM

You can say that, but you can't legally just set them on the doorstep. That's where the problem comes in.

Quoting Anonymous 1: No we told them that six months is the max. At that point if they don't find the most place in the Assisted Living the center then they're going to have to figure something else out. Maybe go to the one that's not quite as nice. In fact I might tell them that if they're still here in 3 months they need to put on the list for the one that's not as nice because the waiting list isn't nearly as long
Quoting quinnsmom715:

lol @six months..this time next year they will STILL be there and they will act like they own the place..


quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:58 PM

ah,so naive.talk to some of the moms on here where mil was just supposed to stay 'a couple months' and 10 years later are still there..trust me,they will fight you,you may have to legally evict them..

Quoting Anonymous 1: No we told them that six months is the max. At that point if they don't find the most place in the Assisted Living the center then they're going to have to figure something else out. Maybe go to the one that's not quite as nice. In fact I might tell them that if they're still here in 3 months they need to put on the list for the one that's not as nice because the waiting list isn't nearly as long
Quoting quinnsmom715:

lol @six months..this time next year they will STILL be there and they will act like they own the place..


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:58 PM
Of course lol

Quoting SergeantSausage: Sadly, some here will actually be on their side. Lol
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 12:58 PM
2 moms liked this

They aren't going to move out, FYI. That "waiting for a spot in assisted living" was a ruse to get you to open your house.

And things will not ever get better. They think they are entitled to act like assholes because they raised your husband.

Good luck getting them out. You'll need an eviction notice.

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