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I'm not in love with him

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies

For so long I have battled this demon about whether I loved him or didn't and it's hit me that I don't I have tried being nice and told him I wasn't happy and I think it best we divorce but he just won't hear it I am so lost as to what I have to do to get it through his head that I just don't want to be with him.. I don't want to be unkind and keep making him believe I do it's not fair to him or our children..


any advice?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:09 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:11 PM

No advice, sorry.  Im not in love with my husband either and if wasnt for his mental illness and our LO I would of gotten rid of him long ago.  Good Luck!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:13 PM
Whether *
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:14 PM

Thanks for the correction without be nasty about it 😊

Quoting Anonymous 3: Whether *


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:18 PM
Are you ready to pack up and leave? Have somewhere to go? Are you sure this feeling isn't temporary? If you're ready and you've thought about how this will affect everyone then just sit him down for a serious conversation and tell him you're moving out. Then go. Its harder when you actually have no place to go or can't afford to go rent an apartment for him or if he refuses to leave. If you are able to leave then just make your plans, tell him how you feel and go.
jabs54
by Ruby Member on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:20 PM

Have you tried counseling?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:20 PM

You can file for divorce even if he doesn't agree. It takes a little longer but it can be done. We've done it for clients. We're in the middle of a case like that right now. It sounds like maybe you're a bit too nice. Don't stay just to make him happy.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:21 PM

Have you tried counseling? Have you looked at other options? Being in love is a feeling that comes and goes within a long term relationship.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:24 PM

Then divorce him, you don't need his approval or  permission to divorce him. Get you a lawyer, pack up your stuff, pack up your kid's stuff, get you a place and leave him.   If you feel that divorce is the best thing, then do it.

tsatske2
by Latricia on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:24 PM

Too many people view love as an emotion, and when they wake up one morning and don't feel it, they want a divorce. Love is a choice, and an action. Wake up every morning and do love and that is love.The feeling comes as a result of loving each other. Get into counceling with him. Tell him you will leave if he doesn't go. Even if you eventually decide to leave, counceling will make that so much easier. Think of it as exit counseling. 

I also recoment the book 'light his fire' Take one suggestion a week and see if that feeling you are missing can return.

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