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This is getting ridiculous.... I hate our CO!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
1 mom liked this
My ex and I have 50/50 custody. Our CO states nothing about extra curriculars. Last year we had issues with ex signing Ds up for something while he was in the middle of another one, he didn't ask or anything just signed him up said practice on this day and games this day. Told him next time we needed to discuss and agree on it before just signing him up like I did with the first extra curricular since we're supposed to making decisions together especially if it effects time for both of us... We discussed over the summer him joining boy scouts ex agreed but he never brought him.
Just got papers from them saying they signed him up for 2 extra curriculars, one is two nights a week the other is one night a week plus games on Saturdays! That's 4 nights a week plus Saturdays we are supposed to be at extra curriculars just for Ds. Ex rarely ever personally brings Ds to the stuff, he has family doing it...
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tsatske2
by Latricia on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:32 PM

Talk to your son and ask him what he wants to not attend. Then tell edh that you won't be taking him to that/those activities on your time, since he didn't talk to you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:33 PM
Ds has it in his head that he will and absolutely has to go to all of it... I tried telling him we just cant do it all but he won't pick which Hed rather do. Honestly, personally, I'd prefer he didn't do basketball so we could at least do things on Saturdays still since that's the only day everyone is home.

Quoting tsatske2:

Talk to your son and ask him what he wants to not attend. Then tell edh that you won't be taking him to that/those activities on your time, since he didn't talk to you.

tsatske2
by Latricia on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:35 PM

Since your son wants to go, only you can decide if it is worth it to tel lhim no. You should, however, tell your husband that you will do that in the future, or that you will take him back to court. He shouldn't get to control your time.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Ds has it in his head that he will and absolutely has to go to all of it... I tried telling him we just cant do it all but he won't pick which Hed rather do. Honestly, personally, I'd prefer he didn't do basketball so we could at least do things on Saturdays still since that's the only day everyone is home.
Quoting tsatske2:

Talk to your son and ask him what he wants to not attend. Then tell edh that you won't be taking him to that/those activities on your time, since he didn't talk to you.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:40 PM
I told my ex last year I'd bring him when I could but since he didn't discuss it with me prior that im not sure how often he could go, I was also due a month before it ended so knew he'd miss at least one practice and one game at the end plus practices he missed the first 3 weeks with me because he was finishing his first extra curricular, the one we had both agreed to..... Of course he did it again this year and didn't discuss it with me first. I wish we could bring it back to court but we just cant afford it and he knows that. But we can't do 4 nights a week plus Saturdays plus everyone else's stuff and have family time.

Quoting tsatske2:

Since your son wants to go, only you can decide if it is worth it to tel lhim no. You should, however, tell your husband that you will do that in the future, or that you will take him back to court. He shouldn't get to control your time.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Ds has it in his head that he will and absolutely has to go to all of it... I tried telling him we just cant do it all but he won't pick which Hed rather do. Honestly, personally, I'd prefer he didn't do basketball so we could at least do things on Saturdays still since that's the only day everyone is home.

Quoting tsatske2:

Talk to your son and ask him what he wants to not attend. Then tell edh that you won't be taking him to that/those activities on your time, since he didn't talk to you.

jabs54
by Ruby Member on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:42 PM

Sounds like you need to get your CO revised :(

robibuni
by Platinum Member on Nov. 11, 2016 at 3:44 PM

Ugh. I'm so sorry :(

I'm lucky that XH and I put "both parties cover 50% each of all extra curricuars" in our CO. That being said, he hasn't exactly followed it. We both agree to extra curriculars and he's the one that suggested GS for DD, but he hasn't paid a dime for that stuff. Blah. 

We had two of our girls in soccer this summer and even THAT was difficult trying to work around practice, games, and have family time! :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2016 at 4:24 PM
Again... I can't afford to keep changing it because he can't be courteous enough to say hey I'd like to do this, what do you think? Or will this work for your schedule? Or whatever. I know when I tell him or he finds out that Ds isn't going to all of it he's going to say hell pick him uo and bring him but that means I basically won't see Ds since he's in school and gets home at 4-430 then he'd have to finish up homework, eat, run to his extra curricular that night, by the time he got home hed have to get ready for school the next day, shower and maybe have a little time left :/ and it'd be every day of the week that we were doing that.


Quoting jabs54:

Sounds like you need to get your CO revised :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2016 at 4:25 PM
He has paid for the ones he signed him up for, hard to ask me to pay half when he signs him up in secret... I suppose he could ask after the fact but I'd refuse unless we agreed on it prior.

Quoting robibuni:

Ugh. I'm so sorry :(

I'm lucky that XH and I put "both parties cover 50% each of all extra curricuars" in our CO. That being said, he hasn't exactly followed it. We both agree to extra curriculars and he's the one that suggested GS for DD, but he hasn't paid a dime for that stuff. Blah. 

We had two of our girls in soccer this summer and even THAT was difficult trying to work around practice, games, and have family time! :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 11, 2016 at 6:03 PM
The rule in our house is you can only be in one extra curricular at a time. Discuss setting a similar guideline with your ex. My ex tried to take me to court for "scheduling things on his time" meaning Saturday games and the judge ripped him to shreds.
Ms_Smock
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2016 at 6:09 PM
IN our state we have something called Access to resolve parenting time issues. Kinda like mediation..have u checked about anything like that? Also if you don't have a lawyer entered on the case you could just file this pro se, it's not a big deal to have it added, must agree on EC.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Again... I can't afford to keep changing it because he can't be courteous enough to say hey I'd like to do this, what do you think? Or will this work for your schedule? Or whatever. I know when I tell him or he finds out that Ds isn't going to all of it he's going to say hell pick him uo and bring him but that means I basically won't see Ds since he's in school and gets home at 4-430 then he'd have to finish up homework, eat, run to his extra curricular that night, by the time he got home hed have to get ready for school the next day, shower and maybe have a little time left :/ and it'd be every day of the week that we were doing that.


Quoting jabs54:

Sounds like you need to get your CO revised :(

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