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So damn lost on what to do...So what would you do?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
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Question: Stay or Divorce?




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Alright so this is going to be long so bear with me please.

About a month ago my husband once again started accusing me a cheating (I was not, I will admit I did when we just started dating and I own that I messed up.  It has been 7yrs since then and he says he has forgiven me and it is in the past but obviously it isn't.)  And things just spiraled out of control.  Normally when he does this, which is about twice a year I just give in and let him yell at me and so on.  Not this time, this time I had had enough of it.  I have been faithful for 7yrs now and he just won't let it go.  So finally a separation came up and he lost it, even though he brought up divorce? Well last Monday he OD'ed at home while I was at work with all three of our boys home with no one to care for them.  He just locked our bedroom door and did it.  Well I found him shortly after I got off work and naturally called an ambulance.  I did hide all of this from my boys because they do not need to see their father like that no matter what.  He got put on a 3 day psych hold at the hospital and the sheriff said he was going to have to call CPS because of the fact that no one was home with my boys when all this happened.  

So now he is out and I told him he couldn't come home because that would put our kids at risk if he did something like this again.  So he is staying at his brother's house.  Now he is all apologetic and agreeing to every single thing that I have asked of him over the years, like both individual counseling and marriage counseling.  Here is the thing he is so sure that we can get past this and in my head I can't even imagine living in the same house with him right now let alone being together again.  To me he crossed a line when he endangered our children (8, 6, and 3) and I don't think I can every forgive him for that.  I have put up with all of his issues for years but I never once thought he would do something like this and never thought I would be in this position.  I am so lost on what I should do.  My boys are hurting because they miss their dad which I understand but I can't trust him with them right now and definitely not in the same home that not even a week ago he did that.

Edited to add** He OD'ed on his own prescription medication just to clarify that.**

So what would you do?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:37 AM

sorry but drugs are a huge deal breaker for me, i told DH that when we got married, him being an alcoholic and drugs were the worst things he could do, besides putting our children in danger and I would never forgive him.  For him to OD whether it be tylenol or whatever would be a deal breaker for me.  He put your kids at risk that I wouldn't get past.  I would divorce

by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:38 AM
I'd be out. I'd offer supervised visitation, that's it. No one endangers my children. Not only did he physically endanger small children, if one of them found their dad dead or overdosed from a suicide attempt they would be emotionally traumatized for life, that's unacceptable.
by Controversial on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:42 AM
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Don't let him back in. What if he tries to hurt or kill the boys, then off himself as some form of sick punishment?!?
by 200 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:43 AM
Divorce that idiot. He did this for attention and he got it. If cps is involved and you allow him back in the house, they can remove all of your children, if they feel he is a danger to himself and them
by Platinum Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:45 AM
That's a total deal breaker for me.
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:47 AM
Fuck that. He can't be a good father, and yes, it's heartbreaking. Take your kids and run.
by on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:51 AM
Do not let him back in the house.
And honestly i would take him to court for custody and try to get him supervised visitation.
by Silver Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:02 AM

My ex did the same with me to try to keep me from leaving him.  The only difference is he didn't do it alone with the kids.  So I say dump his sorry ass. 

by Emerald Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:12 AM
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I would not let him back until he follows through with counseling and has made some progress there. Mental illness sucke.
by Mia on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:13 AM

Divorce.. with supervised visitation, only.

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