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Confession: I put my Special Needs child in government care.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 106 Replies
He was always a lot to handle even as a toddler. As he got older he started developing violent tendencies. When he was 8 I left him with a sitter so I could work and he dropped my cat off the second floor balcony. He was going to drop my dog when the sitter caught him. He pushed her into the mirror in my room and she was cut pretty bad.

I had to quit work after that because no one wanted to watch him. He was kicked out of several after school programs. When he was 9 I finally took him to a doctor about it. He was diagnosed with Autism and he started attending therapy. It looked like it was working for him so I started going back to work. When he was 11 he decided that he didn't want to do his therapies anymore. He'd take swings at me when I tried to take him. I live in the city and never had a car so he'd run off of crowded busses. He also decided he didn't want to go to school anymore and would randomly get up and pace. He tried to punch a teacher who told him to sit down but he missed and the whole class ganged up on him. He was later diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder.

By the time he was 12 I couldn't make him do anything. If he didn't want to go to school, he didn't. If he didn't want to go to therapy, he didn't. One of my friends with a car would offer to drive him but only if he was strapped all the way in the 3rd row. That stopped because one day I met her at her house with him and he punched her 7 year old in the face for not wanting to "do it" with him.

That's when I decided enough was enough and started putting him in inpatient treatments. While he was away I met my now husband who helped me fund his stay. We have a daughter together. When she was a baby DS came home for a week. During that time he took to trying to tip her playpen. He would yell that he hates her and he hopes she dies. One night my husband walked in on him shoving a toy in her face with force trying to beat/suffocate her. He was about 14 at this time btw. DH confronted him and DS flipped out and rammed himself into DH, knocking him over. DH permanently banned DS from the house after that. I didn't agree at first but I wanted to protect my daughter. So DS went back to his home.

He's been there now for 3 years but we decided we really couldn't afford it. We contacted a social worker and told her the entire deal. They said since the place he is in has state funding and is run by the state she could see about getting him to stay there for free if he was a ward of the state. So in August of this year I had my rights to him terminated.

I'm not going to lie. It feels bad but it also feels like a weight is lifted. I lived in fear for so long and now I don't. I don't worry about my daughter and the people around me getting randomly attacked anymore. I went to drop off some food for him on Friday and he spit at me. I just knew then that I made the right decision.

I just needed to get all of that out somewhere.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
littlesippycup
by Baby T-rex Arms on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:26 AM
1 mom liked this

:( How sad for everybody. Do you see him at all?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:26 AM
1 mom liked this

I get it. I'm sure it was very hard for you. I have an autistic son too and I worry. It's the best place for him in this situation. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:28 AM
You did the right thing. I know it couldn't be easy. At least you know he is taken care of.
quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:28 AM
5 moms liked this

why did you wait so long to get him help?autism should be diagnosed as early as possible..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:29 AM
Yes. I saw him on Friday.

Quoting littlesippycup:

:( How sad for everybody. Do you see him at all?

quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:29 AM

does he care hes not with you?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:30 AM
I didn't know he was autistic until someone told me. I just thought he was a bad kid and he'd grow out of it.

Quoting quinnsmom715:

why did you wait so long to get him help?autism should be diagnosed as early as possible..

hotspice58
by Platinum Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:32 AM

You did what you had to do.  At least you didn't have to lose custody of your daughter (I've heard of that happening).

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:32 AM
I don't think he even notices. Tbh I don't think he ever really liked me much anyway.

Quoting quinnsmom715:

does he care hes not with you?

littlesippycup
by Baby T-rex Arms on Nov. 28, 2016 at 10:32 AM

That's good. Best of luck to you and your family. I hope y'all can maintain some sort of relationship with him that can be happy. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yes. I saw him on Friday.
Quoting littlesippycup:

:( How sad for everybody. Do you see him at all?


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