Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:44 PM
  • 26 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Sorry for the rambling/long post. If your DH want to do what my husband do, would you let your DH?

Options:

Yes OP. Let your DH do it. He not hurting anything.

No OP. Your DH is um.. unusual/weird? Don't let him do it.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 20

View Results

Hi, I'm sorry for the vent-ish and longgg post ahead.. I know everyone time is precious, so please just skip it if you don't have a few minutes to spare. I'm not good at wording. I always type straight out what in brain, my train of thoughts are scatter all over the place. And I apologize for my not so good English grammars, English is my third language.
Happy Holidays, and early Merry Chistmas/Happy New Year. Hope everyone have a nice holidays time with your family and loved ones.

In my culture, and especially I'm Buddhist. When it comes to major Buddhist holidays, and the first day of Chinese Lunar New Year. We eat vegeterian, we don't eat meat.. Buddhist believe that when you don't eat animal meat, you eat vegeterian will give you blessing--(for not eat animal meat), you'll get blessed.
It hard to explain it but it like when you doing good deeds you get blessing. And by not eating animal meat, you get more blessing.

A year 365 days and I eat vegeterian for 39 days (7 major Buddhist holidays, first day of Chinese Lunar New Year, and the 31 days--whole month of Ullambana)..
Ullambana (it like a Buddhist holiday/festival) in the seventh lunar month calender--it known as the season of filial piety to our parents (whether our parents alive or deceased). In modern days it like the western Mother's Day.
To be frank, I try my best; that 39 days is the Maximum I can go without meat. I personally love eating meat too much, no way I can't give up meat.

I'm Chinese, my husband he West African (he from Sierra Leone, West Africa). Eventhough we have a huge cultural difference between us. But he very understanding of my culture and Buddhist religion.
I explained it to him. And I told him the days I eat vegeterian, I will cook separate food with meat for him. I mean we do have plenty of meat in the fridge.
But he said No, he will not eat meat while seeing me eat vegeterian.. He said he not gonna enjoy eating meat by himself when his wife is eating vegeterian food. He said he is my husband, the days I eat vegeterian, he will eat vegeterian together with me.
And he did. he did what he said. The 39 days where I eat vegeterian--I just eat steamed rice, vermicelli, tofu, eggplant, boil vegetables and soy sauce. and he happily eat it with me.

Anyways, my husband knows knows in my culture and religion that when you eat vegeterian/Not eat animal meat will give you blessed, you get bestow blessing for not eat meat.
And my husband he wants to do this--he said when I'm pregnant he will eat vegeterian for 9 months of my pregnancy till I give birth and continue to eat vegeterian till our baby turn 3 years old.
So that 9 months of my pregnancy till our baby turn 3, he will not eat meat.. So 3 years and 9 months, almost 4 years he will eat vegeterian; so that me and our baby will be blessed.
He said he wants to start as soon as I get a positive on the pregnancy test, he wants the baby in my tummy will be blessed, and he will continue vegeterian till our baby turn 3 years old.
...........
Perhaps he thinks that he eat vegeterian, he not eat meat can bestow blessing/can bring blessings to me and our baby. I dunno, but he said it something he really want to do, and he asked me to let him it for 4 years (during my pregnancy and till our baby turn 3).
I mean he not hurting anything.. If you were me, would you let your DH do this? If your DH want to do something like this, would you let your DH?


okay, and he said it will ONLY be him eat vegeterian (in that 4 years), 'him' only. He wants me to eat normally eat meat, and my pregnant tummy need nutritious foods, regardless during pregnancy or post pregnancy he wants me to eat meat.
And the baby also need to eat meat, babies/toddlers need iron protein for growth, developed strong immune system, healthy development, brain cells, yada yada.. What he saying is the 9 months of my pregnancy till our baby turn 3 years old, me and the baby need to eat meat. He make it clear that he wants me and the baby to eat meat, it just him eat vegeterian. (not me or the baby)
...........
You know how when I offer to cook separate food with meat for him on the 39 days I eat vegeterian, he said No. He said he not gonna enjoy eating meat by himself when his wife is eating vegeterian food. He said he is my husband, the days I eat vegeterian, he will eat vegeterian together with me..
But then look at it now, while me and and the baby eat meat, him eating vegeterian only. He doesn't want doesn't want me and the baby to eat vegeterian with him in that 4 years. He wants me and the baby eat meat, eat nutritious food.
What would you do if were me? I guess I should let him  have it his ways so he can be happy right? Since he said it something he really want to do, and asked me to 'let' him.. If your DH want to do what my husband do, would you let your DH?

------------------------------------------------------------------
My husband he work 70 hours a week (10-12 hours a day). He doesn't eat much at work, he just eat what I pack for him like a salami sandwich or like baozi (it a Chinese round shape bun inside/filling have meat in it). And to be frank, the nature of his job doesn't give him much time to eat.
He always save his stomach to come home to eat with me.. He very important on family eating together. He said eating homemade food that his 'wife' cooks, able to eat together; means alot to him. He wants me and him  eat together everyday.

He not picky on food, at.all. he never picky on food. He said he eats anything his 'wife' cook. And I do cook for him everyday (my culture food), he never ask me to cook anything specific for him, he said he eat what me--his wife eat.

(since he wants to be vegeterian/not eat meat for 4 years to bestow blessing, bring blessings to me and our baby).. Talking about vegeterian food, this lead me to the next question. Can anyone educate me on the 'western' culture of what vegeterian food is. Can you help give me examples of what to you would be considered as a 'vegeterian' dishes?
To be frank, I only know how to cook and good at cooking my culture food (Chinese). I'm not good at cooking western food.. And the version of ours culture 'vegeterian' food it just different from the 'western' vegeterian food that I see.

From what I see in the 'western' vegeterian dishes is like it concentrate mostly just eating big portion of the vegetables itself; it all vegetables, ALOT of vegetables, vegetables (and alot of raw leafy green?).
But Chinese 'vegeterian' food it not like that. It different, we don't concentrate on the vegetables or raw leafty green; But the we concentrate on the rice--noodles--vermicelli as the big portion, and the (cook) vegetables just put on top. No raw leafty green like the western salad.
...........
I give some examples of my culture vegeterian dishes that my husband eat with me in the 39 days I eat vegeterian.
this dish as you can see, the main part of it is vermicelli noodles, and it just little tofu on top.. I dunno, but it just different from the western vegeterian dishes I see.

Or like this dish, it just tofu and eggplant. And he just eat it with a big bowl of steamed rice. The main part is the rice, and the tofu and eggplant just go on top.


Or like this noodle vegetables dish below;
you see it just little vegetable on top (mushroom and beansprouts), the main part is the noodles.

It different from the 'western' vegeterian. As you see from the pics, the big portion main concentration is the rice, noodles and vermicelli. NOT the vegetables..
When look at 'western' vegeterian dishes it just have alot of vegetables, way way more vegetables/leafy green than the Chinese vegeterian dishes.

I'm thinking of signing up for a 'western' vegeterian cooking food class. I'm sure here in the Bay area it not hard to find a cooking class (vegeterian or not). And I need to go buy vegeterian cook books.
...........
Can anyone help educate me more on the 'western' vegeterian? Like can you give examples, or post pics or describe what to you is 'vegeterian' food? Perhaps I'm cooking vegeterian food all wrong here? I not sure if he will get enough iron (in the 4 years vegeterian) from mostly just the rice, noodles, and vermicelli.


by on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:44 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:47 PM
I'm not up for reading all of that, so here's a bump. Maybe someone else will be helpful.
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Iron comes in supplement form, and as long as it's combined with Vitamin C, it's just as bioavailable as iron from food sources.

You also might look into cooking with legumes.

justinnaimee
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:51 PM
I tried. I really did but I couldn't get through this mess.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't "allow" my dh to do anything. He's a grown man, if he chooses to eat a certain way, I'm not going to stop him. I don't quite understand your concern, but that could be the language barrier.
mrsrodgers0703
by Emerald Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:54 PM
Just let him eat however he wants. If he wants to eat vegetarian, no problem.
Ginger0104
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:56 PM
I don't think adults need permission to do anything they like, as long as it's not hurting anyone. It's nice he wants to do this with you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:56 PM
1 mom liked this

There are plenty of vegetarian foods that he could eat and maintain a healthy diet.  Dark leafy greens (spinach, kale, collard greens, broccoli) and beans are a great source of iron, as are dried fruits like apricots or raisins.

I think it really depends on how far he wants to go with the vegetarianism.  Is he willing to eat foods like eggs and dairy, or are those things he needs to avoid as well?  If that is the case, you want to look into veganism.

When you make baozi, you can substitute mushrooms and eggplant for the meat.  You can also stir fry a large variety of vegetables and tofu and serve it over rice or vermicelli.  

Roasting vegetables is also delicious, as are soups and chilis.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I think her culture influences her perception.  I want to say men are probably more assertive and dominate in her culture.  She married someone who is more inclined to focus on a mutual balance within the marriage.  

My brother dated someone who was similar, she had a hard time with the concept of having equal influence on the relationship.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't "allow" my dh to do anything. He's a grown man, if he chooses to eat a certain way, I'm not going to stop him. I don't quite understand your concern, but that could be the language barrier.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm confused about why he wants to do this. Is he trying to make your religion into a magic wish?

If he's not Buddist, I don't think I see the point.

But, he's an adult, he can do what he wants.
conweis
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow that is a lot ro read. He wants to eat vegetarian for blessing when you become pregnant until the baby turns three. Because of your culture?
Let him find veggie recipes to try
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)