Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do NOT peg me as the evil step mom, DH!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 38 Replies
Quick backstory here. We are a blended family with 7 children. DH has ss16 and sd almost 14. I have ds15. We are adoptive parents of twins and share 2 younger dds. We have been a major part of each others kids lives since his two were 5 and 7.

Yesterday I mention to DH that this year I want to do something incredible for ds15's bday. His bday is just a few days after Christmas and our smallest babes bday is early January. Ds ALWAYS gets the short end of the stick. He rarely has much of a fuss made over him.

Dh says he will take him out to eat and buy him a gift and that's all he gets because that's what we did for ss16's bday. It's only fair.

Yeah, this pissed me off to no end. Why? Because 1 month before ss's bday, I asked him what he wanted to do. He said he wanted to go seadoing at the lake. What did I do? I booked an entire fucking restaurant. I had sea doos lined up to rent for the day. I invited all of our family and friends (including BM and her DH and his kid). And guess what? Less than a week before his party, ss changed his mind and wanted to spend the day with his bm's friends family instead. So DH took him out to eat, just then two (by ss's request)

Last year I hosted everyone at a bbq here for ss's bday. The year before I rented out a picnic space at a gorgeous park. Every fucking year I (not DH) do whatever my ss wants. His bday is summertime. He never gets screwed over (like my ds).

Then, there's the fact that my ds gets straight A's. He works hard around the house and helps me without even needing to be asked. He's never bitched about his lack of bday parties and is genuinely a good egg. He DESERVES way more than I could give him most of the time. Yet he never complains.

Ss, on the other hand, is polar opposite. He has recently cussed his dad out for having a text conversation with BM about ss's education because as feels it's non of his dad's fucking business. He goes to school 2 hrs a day, 2 days a week and still misses tons. He told his Nana last month that if she wants him to visit her more, than she needs to buy him a dirt bike or a quad or something otherwise he will not go there. He throws temper tantrums every single time he's here. He demands DH to give him money for games and refuses to do any chores to earn the $ (and no, DH doesn't give him a penny if he doesn't work for it). The list goes on and on.

I know my ss has his issues and I love the snot out of the little booger. We have an awesome relationship. I'm the one to cool him down after his meltdowns here. I'm the one who pushes him to try things (and he almost always thanks me). Do not get me wrong here. But I 100% do believe that my ds does deserve a bigger stink seeing as he's doing the things he's supposed to do!

DH ended up agreeing apprehensively and said he hates how I compare the two boys. I told him he started it by setting my ds's budget based on what we spent on ss. Fuck that shit. Yes, my ds does deserve more and this year I'm going to spoil him.

This is just a vent. I'm sick of DH always trying to make me feel like some sort of evil sm :/
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:00 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:07 PM
Forget everything in your post. Spend your child's birthday however he wants to whatever your budget allows. Do not let him be shorted any year on his birthday. Oh, and prepare to be roasted.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:07 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:13 PM
I plan to. Ds needs a good bday for once. Whatever the kid wants to do is what we will do.

My post is just a vent. I'm just annoyed with DH. I hate when he gets like this.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Forget everything in your post. Spend your child's birthday however he wants to whatever your budget allows. Do not let him be shorted any year on his birthday. Oh, and prepare to be roasted.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:21 PM
Bump
SDmomma-3
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:25 PM
Imagine how surprised he'll be this year! I say do it and do it big!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:28 PM
3 moms liked this

So why do you allow your son to get the short end of the stick and cater to your jerk husband's spoiled brat?  You should have put a stop to planning extravagant parties for that ungrateful little shit a long time ago.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:18 PM
My son gets the short end mostly because of the timing of his bday. Although he doesn't usually get more than a family dinner with his close family, he does get a very padded bday present budget. Double what his siblings get, in fact. So, he's not that hard done by.

With this being his 16th, I don't give a fuck if the timing is bad. He will get a big party.

As for ss, I will continue to try and give him parties as well. He is a brat, yes. But I do love the kid to pieces.

What I dislike is how my DH sets plans and budgets off of what we do for ss. He's so afraid of the skids getting screwed over. It annoys me.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

So why do you allow your son to get the short end of the stick and cater to your jerk husband's spoiled brat?  You should have put a stop to planning extravagant parties for that ungrateful little shit a long time ago.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:24 PM
I'm excited to see his reaction! He will be shocked!

I'm tentatively thinking of taking him snow tubing at a winter park during the day (if there's enough snow). Then, out to dinner where all of our family and friends will be, then to a hotel room with a water park for the night. My ds is a big kid and loves to play still. He will be over the moon happy with all of this! :)

Quoting SDmomma-3: Imagine how surprised he'll be this year! I say do it and do it big!!
SDmomma-3
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:26 PM
That sounds great! I hope he has a great time, sounds like he's earned it (:

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm excited to see his reaction! He will be shocked!

I'm tentatively thinking of taking him snow tubing at a winter park during the day (if there's enough snow). Then, out to dinner where all of our family and friends will be, then to a hotel room with a water park for the night. My ds is a big kid and loves to play still. He will be over the moon happy with all of this! :)

Quoting SDmomma-3: Imagine how surprised he'll be this year! I say do it and do it big!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:27 PM
Give your son the bday he deserves
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)