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No I didn't ask their parents...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies
1 mom liked this
This happened before the thanksgiving break, I'm just finding time to post.

My daughter is in marching band, for those of you that don't know marching band is like a giant family the parents volunteer and all the kids become "theirs".

For the final rehearsal of the marching season our parents have a tradition of making special themed cupcakes for the seniors and everyone else gets plain cupcakes. Between 3 of us we baked and decorated 100 cupcakes and hauled them up to the school at the end of practice. As we were standing around waiting for the kids to finish up a freshman dad saw us and came over to say hi. He saw the cupcakes and asked what they were for, after we explained he said "well did you ask the parents first? Because my kid doesn't need all those extra calories I hate when she comes to the car with something and says it's ok because a band mom gave it to her"

Ummm these kids are in high school. We sometimes show up with surprises like Popsicles after a super hot day of practice or pizza for reaching a fundraising goal. If the kid doesn't want it they say no thank you and leave no big deal. The only time we push kids eating is at a competition when they have a 12 hour day or band camp when they are marching in the summer heat for 8 hours a day and need to eat lunch so they don't pass out.

So would you expect a group of parents doing something nice for your kid to call 100 parents and ask if your 14-18 year old can have a cupcake?
I say once a kid is in high school they need to be responsible for their own food choices and if you don't want your child eating something you need to tell them to say no thank you and walk away.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LoonyLuna41219
by Gold Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:04 PM
No, I wouldn't.
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mcginnisc
by *Claire-Bear* on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:05 PM
2 moms liked this
Pssh..I'm a former band kid that is now a band mom...Dad needs to get a grip on reality. Kids in HS are fully capable of knowing when and what to eat.
maureen813
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this

So, here is my take on it as a mother of two teenagers ( 15 and 18) and also a clinical therapist who has treated children and adolescents with eating disorders. Those external controls do not work well with high school kids and treats or snacks. They have to be invested in making some good and healthy choices, for some  that may mean having one treat instead of three or simply bypassing the sweets for fruit or yogurt and using a substitution but enjoying the social aspect of the event. I think you are right, why would you ever be expected to call dozens of parents and make their children into infants for one parent?

Hanab818
by ThePonds on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:06 PM
I was in marching band. My mom didn't give a shit. And if my kids ever were I'd probably be the one making them and no I would NOT be calling. 100+ parents.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:09 PM
Nope
jabs54
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh good grief.  I feel sorry for that poor child!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:10 PM
I'm of the mindset that a treat or surprise every once in a while is ok but making a big deal of it is just going to make the kid self conscious and make them think they need to eat snacks and treats in hiding so they don't feel judged.

The girl in question is slightly overweight but marching band is a lot of physical activity and I've noticed she's slimmed down a bit since August. My daughter drops 10 pounds every summer during the 2 weeks of band camp and she's a tiny thing.

Quoting maureen813:

So, here is my take on it as a mother of two teenagers ( 15 and 18) and also a clinical therapist who has treated children and adolescents with eating disorders. Those external controls do not work well with high school kids and treats or snacks. They have to be invested in making some good and healthy choices, for some  that may mean having one treat instead of three or simply bypassing the sweets for fruit or yogurt and using a substitution but enjoying the social aspect of the event. I think you are right, why would you ever be expected to call dozens of parents and make their children into infants for one parent?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:11 PM

If he doesn't want his snowflake eating high-calorie snacks, he should have told you ahead of time. It's not your responsibility to get permission from 100 parents.

Ginger0104
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:12 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't expect this from any school related function from kindergarten on, let alone by the time a kid gets to high school. It's just a cupcake.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 2:12 PM
The kids get so excited to see what the cupcakes look like, this years show theme was an ocean voyage so the color guard got mermaids holding flags and the band kids got live preservers with their instrument in it.

Quoting Hanab818: I was in marching band. My mom didn't give a shit. And if my kids ever were I'd probably be the one making them and no I would NOT be calling. 100+ parents.
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