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I am about to go tell her to just go live with her father then

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
I know I'll get bashed. I'll be told well you raised her. But there is stuff i am not sharing in this post.

My daughter is 17. Her biological father has been absent her whole life. Works under the table to avoid Paying child support. He hasn't paid a dime. He hasn't even attempted to get in contact in 16 yrs. No birthday cards or Christmas cards. Nothing.

This past summer my daughter spent a month with him. We contacted him. He wouldn't even come and get her but sent his sister too.

I needed a break and I needed to get her away from this area. She was getting out of control. I figured moving her somewheres else would help. After a month she begged me to come get her. I set ground rules and she agreed. So I drove 24 hr straight round trip to pick her up.

Things got worse. Now she act like his shit doesn't stink, like he walks on water. Why because he let her do what she wanted. He let her smoke pot, he says he didn't know. Sneaking out, sneaking boys in. He bought her a cell phone which I won't do.

But dh and I. We are treated like shit. Disrespected. Telling me I am a bad parent. Well I must have done something right because my other child doesn't do the shit she does. Dh and I have done everything for her. Supported her, taken care of her. We just have rules. We don't go back on consequences all because she cries. We don't kiss her ass. Of course he does he has almost 17 yrs to make up for.

Apparently I am the blame for him not being involved because I moved away. Yep i did move and it was the best decision I ever made. I did so because I realized after she was born I was on my own taking care if her. He wasn't involved when I was there and I had to do what was best for her and I. He knew how to contact me and where I was. He never tried. Hell he married my step dad sister. If anything he could have gotten on touch with me through my mom. But he never did.

She calls me every name under the sun
Fine she can go back and live with him. And this time I won't go get her. I have tried and tried and tried to do right by her. And I get shit on for it. Fine she can go live with him if that is what she wants.
I am done
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2016 at 11:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
eclaudin
by Gold Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 11:54 PM
I think she's trying to play you. If things had really been so great at dad's, she would have never begged to come back.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2016 at 11:57 PM
She didn't want to come back for me. O I know that now. She wanted to come back for a boy.

Quoting eclaudin: I think she's trying to play you. If things had really been so great at dad's, she would have never begged to come back.
eclaudin
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2016 at 12:02 AM
Send her back, but first let her know your home is not a revolving door. If she leaves again, she does not get to come back. Ever. Hopefully she'll think long and hard about it.

If she stays, she needs to be put in her place. Do not tolerate the bullshit. Let her know if she tries it anymore, you WILL make her life miserable. Then get creative.

Quoting Anonymous 1: She didn't want to come back for me. O I know that now. She wanted to come back for a boy.

Quoting eclaudin: I think she's trying to play you. If things had really been so great at dad's, she would have never begged to come back.
143myboys9496
by Platinum Member on Nov. 29, 2016 at 12:02 AM

Sorry. She's your dd, do what you think is best. 

Honestly, if my kid kept being disrespectful and telling me how great it was to be at their father's...I'd pack their suitcase too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 29, 2016 at 12:02 AM
So pack her stuff, call Him and say come get her. Then don't let her come back.

You are allowing her to disrespect you and it time to stop that.
halsmommy14
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2016 at 12:04 AM
You're a shit parent
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 29, 2016 at 12:04 AM
That is exactly what I am going to do. I am done

Quoting Anonymous 2: So pack her stuff, call Him and say come get her. Then don't let her come back.

You are allowing her to disrespect you and it time to stop that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 29, 2016 at 12:05 AM
Far from it dear.

Quoting halsmommy14: You're a shit parent
clearlyme
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2016 at 12:09 AM
You did your best. Now she's at an age where she can make that decision and she can also pay the consequences. Get real with her. Scare the shit out of her and tell her where her life is headed if she makes this very permanent decision and then let go. She will figure it out and appreciate you one day. I'm sorry. I know this has to be painful for you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 29, 2016 at 12:11 AM
According to her when she turns 18 she is done with me and will never be involved with me again. I told her today that she can't hurt me with her words because I have heard it all before. And I to her if that is what she wants then so be it.

Quoting clearlyme: You did your best. Now she's at an age where she can make that decision and she can also pay the consequences. Get real with her. Scare the shit out of her and tell her where her life is headed if she makes this very permanent decision and then let go. She will figure it out and appreciate you one day. I'm sorry. I know this has to be painful for you.
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