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Dhs family is mad because I hurt bil custody case

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies
1 mom liked this
Bil is getting divorced. He and his ex have two school-age children. He and his ex both wanted to get primary custody with the other only getting every other weekend. It's been a bit of a bitter custody battle. My brother-in-law is temporarily living with us until the custody situation gets sorted out. He said he wants to wait to find out whether he's paying child support or getting child support before he decides what area he wants to live. Ideally he would like to live in our area. There's a townhome Community just a few miles away from us and would put the kids in our school district. But if his ex gets primary custody he can't afford that place while paying nearly a quarter of his pre taxed income in child support.

He asked me and my husband to come and testify for him because he's been living with us we've been seeing how the kids have been with him. His attorney thought it would be a good idea so we did. However he's been giving his attorney some information that simply isn't true.

One of the basis for him getting custody is he said that he wouldn't have to put the kids in child care because apparently he assumed that I would watch them full-time after school and before school while he's working. Currently I watch them on the two days a week is that they are at our house during the school week. But I am certainly not willing to do that full-time.

Well I was on the stand at his ex's attorney was questioning she asked me point-blank if I was willing to. I guess my soon-to-be-ex sister-in-law knows me fairly well and knows that I'm not willing to watch them full time. Especially while their mom sits at home and could be taking care of them. I answered truthfully that no I'm not willing to and that I'm doing it currently just while they figure out their custody situation but I have no intention of doing it long term. There were a few other things that he just assumed I would be doing that made him look more stable in court. For example he's under the impression that I will only be an emergency contact at the kids school if he has custody. If his ex gets primary custody I will not be willing to pick them up in case of an emergency. And that's simply not true if they are sick or there's an emergency call me I don't care who they live with primarily they are my niece and nephew. And when asked on the stand I was honest.

He just looked very disorganized because he was telling the court one thing that he was depending on me for all this stuff and that obviously wasn't the case. His ex ended up getting primary custody with him getting them one night a week from after school till the next day and every other weekend from Friday after school till Monday morning. He is having to pay 22% of his income in child support. So he is not going to be able to live in that nice area he thought he was going to live in he has to live in an area that isn't quite as nice.

With the exception of my husband the whole family is blaming me. Apparently I should have lied on the stand and told them that yes I am willing to basically be a full-time nanny for him to be able to get primary custody. I was also supposed to tell them that I was only going to pick my niece and nephew up in case of an emergency if my brother-in-law got custody and I was supposed to tell them that my brother-in-law and his children are welcome to live with us as long as they want. None of these things are the case and my husband back to me 100%.

My husband did tell my brother-in-law that if he gives me one cross word over it he will have to find a new place that night
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:35 AM
I wouldnt have lied for him either. It must suck for him since he is an Assuming asshole
CherryZombie
by Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:38 AM
2 moms liked this
You did the right thing. I never lied for myself in family court nor would I ever lie for someone else.
NerdyMom2011
by Becca on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:38 AM
Holy shit the nerve
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

So basically his family wanted you to purger yourself on the stand.  Nice people.  I'll never understand why it is that people use kids as a weapon against each other.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:45 AM
Your bil is at fault. He should have asked before he lied to his lawyer. Then he could have come up with a better solution to his child care issues.
Not your fault that you were blindsided. You should never lie in court.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:47 AM
They just need someone to blame you're the easiest target - when the playing field is fairly even judges almost always give custody to the mom anyway. The kids going to a before/after school program doesn't sound like a clincher, but lying made him look less trustworthy so that's his problem.
mojogirl
by Ouiser Boudreaux on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:51 AM
3 moms liked this

not believing any of this.

mommyof11050307
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:55 AM
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Sorry I won't lie for someone just to make them look good. He should have sat down with y'all and I asked how you felt about it. I don't understand why they couldn't do 50/50 with no child support.
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SergeantSausage
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:57 AM
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One should never lie in a court of law, regardless. Your bil is an asshole for even putting you in that situation. Your inlaws can suck it. It's sad when parents use their children as pawns in a divorce.

ChrissyReznor
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:57 AM
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Yeah I'm having trouble believing an attorney wouldn't talk to you before the court.

Quoting mojogirl:

not believing any of this.

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