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What do you think of this custody arrangement?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 73 Replies

This is what the mediator is suggesting for my niece and her STBX.  They both want full custody, they both good parents, both have good full time jobs.  

The school system here works on a 9 week schedule with a 2 week break between 9 weeks, and 8 weeks in the summer.  

Mediator says they both deserve custody, so she is suggesting 50/50 but it will go with the school year.  So if my niece has them the day school starts, she will have them for 9 weeks, have the first week of the fall break, then her STBX will get the second week of the break, then have them for 9 weeks.  2nd week of winter break, niece will get them back, and have them until spring break, when her STBX will get them back the second week.  Niece will have them the first 4 weeks of summer, starting the day after school lets out, STBX will have them the second 4 weeks, giving them back to niece the day before school starts.  If it is niece's time to have them, STBX will have them Wednesday afternoon at 3pm until 8am Thursday.  Same for when it is STBX's time, niece will have Wed/Thu visits. 

Both parents must remain living in the school district the children attend.  That can cause a complication because we have 11 elementary schools in our system.  You can live on one side of the street and the children go to *A* school and the person across the street, their kids go to *B* school.  It will be easier once they hit middle and high school because we only have 3 of each of those and gives a broader area for them to live in.  But if either parent moves out of the school district the children are currently attending, they lose their 50/50 and full custody will revert to the parent that does not move, with the moving parent getting standard visitation of every other weekend and half of all school breaks.  

Niece brought up holidays because with that schedule, one parent would always get the same holidays.  So, New Years Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve from 8am-9pm with Niece on odd numbered years/STBX on even numbered years.  Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, and Christmas Day with Niece 8am-9pm on even numbered years/STBX on odd numbered years.  Mother's Day weekend with neice, Father's Day weekend with STBX.  Weekend before the children's birthday's will be with niece, the weekend after will be with STBX.  The weekend after niece's birthday, the children will be with her, the weekend after STBX's birthday, the children will be with him.  

Any and all changes that deviate from this schedule must be put into writing with both parents signing they agree.       


Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Libby22
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm no expert, but I don't think I could handle 9 week blocks without my kid.

OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:37 AM
1 mom liked this

That's stupid. The kids aren't going to want to go that long between seeing their other parent when they're with the other.

My friends growing up switched every week, 7 days with 1 parent, then 7 with another. They traded holidays every year, with the parent who did NOT get Christmas rotation picking the child up on Christmas evening around 7 p.m.


mrshosier0622
by Bronze Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:38 AM

that sound great

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this
I have a different opinion than most on 50/50. I don't think it's appropriate for children to shuffle back and forth between houses especially during the school year. Children need consistency and stability. It's what is best for the children not the parents.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:39 AM
Sounds like the shittiest custody agreement of all time. A whole lot of 'fuck this'.

50/50 should really be a week (max 2) at one parent then a week (max 2) at another parent. 1 parent gets all major holidays in even years and 1 parent gets all major holidays in odd years.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:40 AM

if you read it again, the week that niece has the kids other parent will have wednesday 3pm til thurs 9...its a fair plan..so try reading

Quoting OwlNuggets:

That's stupid. The kids aren't going to want to go that long between seeing their other parent when they're with the other.

My friends growing up switched every week, 7 days with 1 parent, then 7 with another. They traded holidays every year, with the parent who did NOT get Christmas rotation picking the child up on Christmas evening around 7 p.m.


owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:40 AM
That is a terrible custody agreement.
Gorilla_Mama
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:42 AM

One week on one week off would be so much easier on the kids IMO

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:42 AM
The parent who doesn't have them at that time gets to see them every Wednesday night to Thursday morning.

Quoting Libby22:

I'm no expert, but I don't think I could handle 9 week blocks without my kid.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:42 AM
I'm never a fan of 50/50 arrangements. They suck for the kids.
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