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Confessions of a Caregiver to elderly in their home

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies

1. I love your parents, that's why I stay at this  job of caretaking, because YOU won't or can't.  

2. Do not come here and expect me to clean up after you. You are an adult - clean up after yourself! I have enough to clean with your parents making a mess all over the house and blaming me for it. They blame me, because they honestly don't remember making the mess. Do not make my job harder by piling on more work I didn't ask for and don't appreciate. 

3. Do not make decisions without considering their dignity and opinions.  Old people are very set in their ways, and change can be VERY upsetting, especially a change in routine they didn't ask for and were not prepared for. That makes my job 1000% harder, and it's harder on everyone involved. 

4.  When I say there are safety concerns for them, heed my advice -  their welfare and safety is my top priority.  Allowing unsafe conditions to exist places undue burden on a caregiver, and we are most likely to quit if you do not work with us to ensure their safety. 

5.  A kind word to a caregiver goes a long way in at least showing some appreciation for our hard  and demanding work of caring for your parents in their home. 

6.  Do not assume we are on call 24/7, or that you can request the agency to send a certain someone.  Sometimes, it's just not possible to have the same caregiver all the time, so help out by being proactive in their care.   

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:53 AM
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Replies (1-4):
januaryqueen
by Platinum Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:57 AM
I appreciate what you do. I couldn't. I've lost two very dear elderly family members this year that both had caregivers. And now we have another who has caregivers. I know I could do anything for them because they're family. But I couldn't do it for anyone outside of family.
I tell the caregivers every time I visit that I'm grateful for their care for my family member. They are so patient and attentive. Not just anyone can do it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 12:01 PM
That used to annoy me SO MUCH when the family confused caregiver with maid. Get real. And don't leave a list of housekeeping chores to do, hire a house keeper. And you might want to add that the agency could be a bit more respectful of the caregivers.

I don't do that job anymore. Got to be ridiculous.
ElephantShoez
by GoGoWaffleMaker on Dec. 13, 2016 at 12:03 PM
My MIL is a PSW and she works crazy hours, driving all over to her clients homes everyday. I tell her all the time how wonderful she is for being so loving and caring to perfect stranger's. (most have dementia/Alzheimer's and can be very difficult.) She adores her job though and worked very hard for it. It takes a lot of patience and understanding to do that kind of job.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 12:05 PM

Thank you for all that you do.  I work for a non profit that trains volunteers to visit the elderly in care centers.  So many are alone.  I do realize some may deserve it for horrible treatment of their family, but that isn't too common.  I know of one guy who liquidated his father's assets and then dropped him off at a home with a suitcase.  :-(

The elderly are treated like garbage in this country.  Not every elderly person deserves to be lonely  and not have family visit.  Too many people can't see past their own nose and realize they will be in the same position one day.  Hell, I can already tell from some of the horrific bitches on here cutting family out over stupid shit, treating their kids like shit, etc.  And they will deserve it.

You are a blessing to so many.  Again, thank you for all you do.  I know it's not easy and can be a disgusting job in a myriad of ways.

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