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How would you discipline for this?

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So I have 2 boys...16 and 13 (well I have more than that but this is about them). Anyways, Monday the oldest texted me and asked me if his girlfriend's mom could pick him up after weightlifting. (Weightlifting is for football and after school). I agreed.
That evening my hubby questioned if he really went and the 13 year old chimes in "yeah he went...alys bus is behind ours and he didn't get on it".
Ok so we believe him and go about our night.
Yesterday the boys come in the house...here I learn.
The oldest did not go to weightlifting, he rode the bus with his girlfriend and the younger one got pictures to blackmail him.
Older kiddo didn't appreciate being threatened with blackmail (younger wanted the PlayStation all to himself) and took youngest phone and deleted the pics.

So they both lied to me...and the older skipped weightlifting. Though that's not that big of a deal to me.
I feel like taking phones or whatever isn't appropriate for some reason. Thoughts? Tactics you've used or would use?
by on Jan. 11, 2017 at 10:28 AM
Replies (71-80):
ashlee62982
by Member on Jan. 12, 2017 at 9:27 AM
How do you do that?

Quoting Ingridblue:

I would ground both for two weeks, no going out and no playstation.Then I would install a parental control app on their phones, you can verify their gps position and even see photos in addiction to limit time, unappropriate apps and websites. They wouldn't have lied if parental control was on their phones.

ashlee62982
by Member on Jan. 12, 2017 at 9:36 AM
Thanks all.
They are grounded from all electronics except TV but they don't get to pick what's on, for a minimum of a week. They will each get a list of things that need done then before they are off grounding. Including writing an essay about integrity, or why blackmail is bad. And deep cleaning their rooms and their living room.
Then they will have points to earn by doing chores or nice things.
I will also be having a chat with girlfriends mom and be the only one giving oldest rides home for quite some time.
ashlee62982
by Member on Jan. 12, 2017 at 9:38 AM
Thanks for looking out...that's not my zip code though its my birthday....and I'd pay serious money to look like that again lol but perhaps ill change it just to be safe.

Quoting Anonymous 12:

Completely off topic, but since you're new around here...it's not a good idea *in this group* to have a screenname with your first name and zip code AND a picture of yourself as your avi.  At some point you may post something controversial, and the psycho detectives in this group now have enough info to find you....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Jan. 12, 2017 at 10:13 AM

I figured out that it wasn't your zip code.  I was able to find your social media accounts so I know where you live and and what you do.  Funny funny funny, we live in the same area and actually have mutual friends.  A lot of members of this group live in this area as well.

So I'd definitely close this account and start a new one (you can't change your username), because you've already shared way too much information.  Trust me, this is not the group to be sharing that much in.  It was way too easy to find your first and last name, and now we know your full birthday.  You've just seriously opened yourself up for identity theft.  I'd delete this thread as well.

Quoting ashlee62982: Thanks for looking out...that's not my zip code though its my birthday....and I'd pay serious money to look like that again lol but perhaps ill change it just to be safe.
Quoting Anonymous 12:

Completely off topic, but since you're new around here...it's not a good idea *in this group* to have a screenname with your first name and zip code AND a picture of yourself as your avi.  At some point you may post something controversial, and the psycho detectives in this group now have enough info to find you....


adp_3805
by Gifqueen on Jan. 12, 2017 at 10:23 AM

So you went ahead and tracked down the social media profiles, last name. and job info of a complete internet stranger to you, to what? Prove to her her shit isn't safe from the "psycho detectives"  on cafemom? 

Are you including yourself as one of those psycho's because HELLOOOO you just admitted to cyberstalking her.  

Anyways she really doesn't have anything to worry about. She doesn't make it a habit to come on cafemom and act like a raging bitch. Unlike some that have to hide behind the anonymous button because they've stuck their foot in their mouth one too many times. 

Quoting Anonymous 12:

I figured out that it wasn't your zip code.  I was able to find your social media accounts so I know where you live and and what you do.  Funny funny funny, we live in the same area and actually have mutual friends.  A lot of members of this group live in this area as well.

So I'd definitely close this account and start a new one (you can't change your username), because you've already shared way too much information.  Trust me, this is not the group to be sharing that much in.  It was way too easy to find your first and last name, and now we know your full birthday.  You've just seriously opened yourself up for identity theft.  I'd delete this thread as well.

Quoting ashlee62982: Thanks for looking out...that's not my zip code though its my birthday....and I'd pay serious money to look like that again lol but perhaps ill change it just to be safe.
Quoting Anonymous 12:

Completely off topic, but since you're new around here...it's not a good idea *in this group* to have a screenname with your first name and zip code AND a picture of yourself as your avi.  At some point you may post something controversial, and the psycho detectives in this group now have enough info to find you....



Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Jan. 12, 2017 at 10:40 AM

Awww, you're cute.  Actually I hate seeing new members putting out all this information because of the shit that goes down in here, and showed her how easy it was to find her.  It literally took three seconds.  By the way, this is what I used to do for work :)

Your "hiding behind the anon button" is so cliche.  LOL.  This is the only group that I post anon in, and I didn't at first.  I started going anon just a few months in, when I saw what these psychos were doing.  Just one post, where these women got to the point where they'd contacted the OP's husband *at his job* as well as her family.  So I don't share anything here.  Your rank is kind of low so maybe you haven't been here long enough to know some of the things that go down here.

Are you saying that I come on CM and act like a raging bitch?  That's funny.  You don't know who I am or what I do or do not post.  I am very far from a raging bitch.  lol.

Quoting adp_3805:

So you went ahead and tracked down the social media profiles, last name. and job info of a complete internet stranger to you, to what? Prove to her her shit isn't safe from the "psycho detectives"  on cafemom? 

Are you including yourself as one of those psycho's because HELLOOOO you just admitted to cyberstalking her.  

Anyways she really doesn't have anything to worry about. She doesn't make it a habit to come on cafemom and act like a raging bitch. Unlike some that have to hide behind the anonymous button because they've stuck their foot in their mouth one too many times. 

Quoting Anonymous 12:

I figured out that it wasn't your zip code.  I was able to find your social media accounts so I know where you live and and what you do.  Funny funny funny, we live in the same area and actually have mutual friends.  A lot of members of this group live in this area as well.

So I'd definitely close this account and start a new one (you can't change your username), because you've already shared way too much information.  Trust me, this is not the group to be sharing that much in.  It was way too easy to find your first and last name, and now we know your full birthday.  You've just seriously opened yourself up for identity theft.  I'd delete this thread as well.

Quoting ashlee62982: Thanks for looking out...that's not my zip code though its my birthday....and I'd pay serious money to look like that again lol but perhaps ill change it just to be safe.
Quoting Anonymous 12:

Completely off topic, but since you're new around here...it's not a good idea *in this group* to have a screenname with your first name and zip code AND a picture of yourself as your avi.  At some point you may post something controversial, and the psycho detectives in this group now have enough info to find you....



adp_3805
by Gifqueen on Jan. 12, 2017 at 10:46 AM

Like I said you cyberstalked her. Like a psycho. 

Quoting Anonymous 12:

Awww, you're cute.  Actually I hate seeing new members putting out all this information because of the shit that goes down in here, and showed her how easy it was to find her.  It literally took three seconds.  By the way, this is what I used to do for work :)

Your "hiding behind the anon button" is so cliche.  LOL.  This is the only group that I post anon in, and I didn't at first.  I started going anon just a few months in, when I saw what these psychos were doing.  Just one post, where these women got to the point where they'd contacted the OP's husband *at his job* as well as her family.  So I don't share anything here.  Your rank is kind of low so maybe you haven't been here long enough to know some of the things that go down here.

Are you saying that I come on CM and act like a raging bitch?  That's funny.  You don't know who I am or what I do or do not post.  I am very far from a raging bitch.  lol.

Quoting adp_3805:

So you went ahead and tracked down the social media profiles, last name. and job info of a complete internet stranger to you, to what? Prove to her her shit isn't safe from the "psycho detectives"  on cafemom? 

Are you including yourself as one of those psycho's because HELLOOOO you just admitted to cyberstalking her.  

Anyways she really doesn't have anything to worry about. She doesn't make it a habit to come on cafemom and act like a raging bitch. Unlike some that have to hide behind the anonymous button because they've stuck their foot in their mouth one too many times. 

Quoting Anonymous 12:

I figured out that it wasn't your zip code.  I was able to find your social media accounts so I know where you live and and what you do.  Funny funny funny, we live in the same area and actually have mutual friends.  A lot of members of this group live in this area as well.

So I'd definitely close this account and start a new one (you can't change your username), because you've already shared way too much information.  Trust me, this is not the group to be sharing that much in.  It was way too easy to find your first and last name, and now we know your full birthday.  You've just seriously opened yourself up for identity theft.  I'd delete this thread as well.

Quoting ashlee62982: Thanks for looking out...that's not my zip code though its my birthday....and I'd pay serious money to look like that again lol but perhaps ill change it just to be safe.
Quoting Anonymous 12:

Completely off topic, but since you're new around here...it's not a good idea *in this group* to have a screenname with your first name and zip code AND a picture of yourself as your avi.  At some point you may post something controversial, and the psycho detectives in this group now have enough info to find you....




Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Jan. 12, 2017 at 10:50 AM

LOL.  Go take a nap or something :)

I'm headed to the spa so I won't be here to reply anymore.  Have a great day!

Quoting adp_3805:

Like I said you cyberstalked her. Like a psycho. 

Quoting Anonymous 12:

Awww, you're cute.  Actually I hate seeing new members putting out all this information because of the shit that goes down in here, and showed her how easy it was to find her.  It literally took three seconds.  By the way, this is what I used to do for work :)

Your "hiding behind the anon button" is so cliche.  LOL.  This is the only group that I post anon in, and I didn't at first.  I started going anon just a few months in, when I saw what these psychos were doing.  Just one post, where these women got to the point where they'd contacted the OP's husband *at his job* as well as her family.  So I don't share anything here.  Your rank is kind of low so maybe you haven't been here long enough to know some of the things that go down here.

Are you saying that I come on CM and act like a raging bitch?  That's funny.  You don't know who I am or what I do or do not post.  I am very far from a raging bitch.  lol.

Quoting adp_3805:

So you went ahead and tracked down the social media profiles, last name. and job info of a complete internet stranger to you, to what? Prove to her her shit isn't safe from the "psycho detectives"  on cafemom? 

Are you including yourself as one of those psycho's because HELLOOOO you just admitted to cyberstalking her.  

Anyways she really doesn't have anything to worry about. She doesn't make it a habit to come on cafemom and act like a raging bitch. Unlike some that have to hide behind the anonymous button because they've stuck their foot in their mouth one too many times. 

Quoting Anonymous 12:

I figured out that it wasn't your zip code.  I was able to find your social media accounts so I know where you live and and what you do.  Funny funny funny, we live in the same area and actually have mutual friends.  A lot of members of this group live in this area as well.

So I'd definitely close this account and start a new one (you can't change your username), because you've already shared way too much information.  Trust me, this is not the group to be sharing that much in.  It was way too easy to find your first and last name, and now we know your full birthday.  You've just seriously opened yourself up for identity theft.  I'd delete this thread as well.

Quoting ashlee62982: Thanks for looking out...that's not my zip code though its my birthday....and I'd pay serious money to look like that again lol but perhaps ill change it just to be safe.
Quoting Anonymous 12:

Completely off topic, but since you're new around here...it's not a good idea *in this group* to have a screenname with your first name and zip code AND a picture of yourself as your avi.  At some point you may post something controversial, and the psycho detectives in this group now have enough info to find you....




Ingridblue
by Member on Jan. 12, 2017 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

You have to install a parental control app on their phones, then you can set limits (time, apps, allowed websites...) and see data (like position, used apps, calls, sms,...) from your phone (with the same app) or from a PC. It's plenty of these apps, each one have more or less the same features, someone with gps tracking and photos access too. By your phone you see the son's phone gps position history on a map. You can try them for free, I cannot find one totally free. Usually they cost more or less 4$ a month. We tried some app, Familoop and Qustodio are good but we are still looking for the best one cheaper... if you will find something better let me know!

For android phones by default you could already look at gps history by their Google account too accessing from a PC, but you need the password and your sons could stop the tracking option. I discoverd that by chance on my google account setting. I know Iphone has a default parental control option too but I don't know how it works.

Quoting ashlee62982: How do you do that?
Quoting Ingridblue:

I would ground both for two weeks, no going out and no playstation.Then I would install a parental control app on their phones, you can verify their gps position and even see photos in addiction to limit time, unappropriate apps and websites. They wouldn't have lied if parental control was on their phones.


single_mom_2015
by Member on Jan. 12, 2017 at 12:48 PM

Both boys would be grounded and would be coming straight home after school for at least a couple weeks.

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