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Do you think she'll be mad? (Update)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 74 Replies
My 12 year old testified against the man who assaulted her Tuesday. She expressed to me that she wants to be there when the verdict is read. I spoke to her last night and explained to her that I can't promise well be there but, if we're not, I promise I'll tell her as soon as I know, even if that means pulling her out of class.

Well, after speaking to her therapist this morning, I decided it would be best if she weren't there because we're not sure how she would react if the verdict were not guilty.

The defense rested their case first thing this morning and now the jury has been deliberating for nearly 2 hours. I asked the ADA to just let me know the result and I would tell dd personally. I'm worried dd will be mad at me but it's one of those cases where it could go either way (his word against hers, no physical evidence).

If he's not found guilty I'd rather tell her and let her grieve privately. If he is found guilty then I plan on taking her out of school on the day of sentencing so she can be there.

Either way he's not getting out of jail though. Because of the charges against him having to do with dd, he now has a pending case outside of this one. While investigating my daughter's case tons of child pornography was found on his computer and that IS an open and shut case so he'll be getting major jail time regardless.

Do you think what I'm doing is right?


UPDATE

I wound up bringing her down to the courthouse but, after more than 5 hours, the jury is still deliberating. We had to leave because it was time to get the other children from school. I was hoping a verdict would be reached before school was over. I'm hoping to get dh to come home early or have my neighbor watch the other children so I can bring her back. I'm not sure if I'll be able to though.

I obviously wouldn't tell my daughter thus, but I'm starting to feel like it's not going to go in her favor. They've been deliberating a long time...
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Catherinesmom12
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:45 AM
5 moms liked this
I would be. If she was brave enough to testify she deserves to be there if she wants to.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:46 AM
You're doing the best you an with advice from a therapist.
Talkingheads
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:47 AM
She should be there
KenneMaw
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:47 AM

I am sorry your daughter was hurt, but so proud she stood up to her abuser.  

HOnestly, I don't know what I would do in your shoes, but I try your judgement and that of your DD's therapist because you know her best.  

Hugs to both of you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:48 AM
He assaulted her Tuesday and there's a trial already?

No.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:48 AM

if she was brave enough to testify against him and be a presence against his freedom and ensuring he pays for his crimes, she deserves to make the choice for herself whether she wants to be there or not.

Roo1234
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this

I would respect her request, even if your fear it isn't going to go her way.  She found the strength to testify, and to deny her the opportunity to see the results of her brave actions discounts her needs and sends her the message that she is fragile.  Understand she wants to see HIS reaction in real time, more than she is worried about her own.  She is already grieving and I suspect that this is very important to her.

I would be there, and I would support my child in the ways that she needed if she were facing such an ordeal.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:59 AM
Id let her go, she went up against him and that's a hard thing to do...

When I was raped the hardest thing was going up against the man who did it to me...

let her go
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:03 PM
1 mom liked this
She TESTIFIED Tuesday. He was arrested for the assault January 28, 2016.

Quoting Anonymous 3: He assaulted her Tuesday and there's a trial already?

No.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:08 PM

It doesn't matter how she reacts if he is found not guilty. If she feels the need to be there she should.

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