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Sd feels.entitled to time with her sister.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
2 moms liked this
Sd 14 has had serious behaviour problems recently. Including violent outbursts and telling dh she was going to slit his f*cking throat.
Dh is taking bm to court to force therapy and hopefully increase visitation time but he's waiting on a court date.

In the meantime, I leave the house during visitation or dh takes visitation somewhere else. Sd is raging mad because she feels like she has a right to keep her sister (dd15mo) with her at the house anytime she chooses whether I agree or not. Im trying to protect my daughter. At least until Sd has taken some steps to change.

Any advice?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:20 PM
I would keep taking your dd with you, SD needs to be mentally stable before she is trusted around defenseless children.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Uh.

Protect your child, and keep her with you.

It sounds like SD and her dad don't have the greatest relationship and right now that should be the primary focus.

After some therapy and time spent rebuilding her relationship with her father, she should definitely have an opportunity to get to know her sister. But until then, don't feel guilty for protecting your child.
STVUstudent
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this

You and your DH need to sit down with her and tell her:

"You have told your father that you intend to slit his throat.  You have violent outbursts.  You are F****** crazy if you think for one second that we would allow you to be alone with any other child as long as we can prevent it."

PJMM
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:28 PM
Sd might be old enough to make her own decision to seek mental help. I'm which case you won't need to worry about bm. I'm not sure how state laws work for teens but i believe they can make some medical decisions on their own. I know unless ds invites me into his counseling sessions i can't know what is said, with exceptions. So tell sd I'm amiable to letting you see your sister supervised WHEN you start and participate in therapy. Meanwhile you've been violent and threatened your father so we will protect the baby. Now you make the decision.

Quoting STVUstudent:

You and your DH need to sit down with her and tell her:

"You have told your father that you intend to slit his throat.  You have violent outbursts.  You are F****** crazy if you think for one second that we would allow you to be alone with any other child as long as we can prevent it."

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:28 PM
That was my initial thought. Visitation is for her and dad's relationship. That should be the focus at least for now. That and her mental health

Quoting Anonymous 3: Uh.

Protect your child, and keep her with you.

It sounds like SD and her dad don't have the greatest relationship and right now that should be the primary focus.

After some therapy and time spent rebuilding her relationship with her father, she should definitely have an opportunity to get to know her sister. But until then, don't feel guilty for protecting your child.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:30 PM
This is what happened but now bm and sd are saying we are so horrible and we should just forgive and forget. I had to step back for a second like am I being reasonable?

Quoting STVUstudent:

You and your DH need to sit down with her and tell her:

"You have told your father that you intend to slit his throat.  You have violent outbursts.  You are F****** crazy if you think for one second that we would allow you to be alone with any other child as long as we can prevent it."

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:35 PM

Let her be raging mad. I wouldn't want her in my house or near other children. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:38 PM

"Quit your shit and you'll get some time with your sister. You won't be seeing her until then."

Repeat as often as necessary.

blessedtohave7
by Bahama Mama on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:53 PM
I wouldn't allow her around the baby. She needs to get herself together which would include some sort of therapy.
SDmomma-3
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 1:00 PM
Sounds like bm is as delusional as sd. You have to protect your child and as much as it sucks, sd is unstable and has no business being around her sister until she gets herself under some type of control. You're doing the right thing, don't for one second allow them to make you second guess yourself!

Quoting Anonymous 1: This is what happened but now bm and sd are saying we are so horrible and we should just forgive and forget. I had to step back for a second like am I being reasonable?

Quoting STVUstudent:

You and your DH need to sit down with her and tell her:

"You have told your father that you intend to slit his throat.  You have violent outbursts.  You are F****** crazy if you think for one second that we would allow you to be alone with any other child as long as we can prevent it."

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