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Should I listen to my lawyer on visitation?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies
I want full custody, my lawyer said joint custody, with stair stepped visitation. Our son is 3, he knows his father, but rarely sees him, and has never been alone with him (DH flat put refused to do anything, change him, feed him, etc). We separated about a year and a half ago so it's not like he never had the opportunity.

When he takes DSS (12) to his house he has been known to leave him home alone while he goes out with girlfriends or to the bar and during these times he won't answer his phone and such.

He saw his son maybe 4 or 5 times last year. He doesn't call and ask for visits and rarely calls to talk to him. His last 2 visits were thanksgiving and August, phone calls were September and October. Right now we live 3 hours away from him, but I have plans to move farther, I just want this mess of a divorce and custody done first.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:04 PM
Nope go for full since he is an absentee father anyway.
fedupmama
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:05 PM

What does your ex want? 

SDmomma-3
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:05 PM
No, go for full!
Devilish_One
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:06 PM
Your lawyer is suggesting joint? I'd get a new one..
Lucky2BaMomof2
by Gold Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:09 PM
Go for all.. if you may be talked down from your initial request, you can be talked down to joint
ceeeeg
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:58 PM

ook so...

always listen to your atty....

however...they are not God either....and i do not know how you would manage a joint custody arrangement living so far apart...

have a discussion with the atty about why he feels joint is better...i am guessing that it is because you have to be very strategic about how much you ask for in court....if you are seen by the judge to be being an asshat and just asking for a bunch of stuff to make life hard on the ex, that can backfire on you badly

personally, i would be more in favor of full physical custody, maybe joint legal and some liberal visitation, given the distance between you

Owner-Caretakers of At-Risk Teens...a safe space to find support and input among those who support/advocate for kids in crisis

http://www.cafemom.com/group/123248

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 13, 2017 at 4:00 PM


Quoting MixedCooke: Nope go for full since he is an absentee father anyway.


Dardenella
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 4:03 PM

No full custody and visitation upon request, not to exceed  whatever you feel.

The three year old is to young to speak out for himself and certainly to young to be left on his own.

You have documented his history and that should speak volumes.  If you have just retained this lawyer it might be better to switch.

Melissa_4
by Navy Mom on Jan. 13, 2017 at 4:03 PM

If he truly wants nothing to do with the kid, request full custody.  I'd consult with a different attorney.

Melissa_4
by Navy Mom on Jan. 13, 2017 at 4:05 PM

Any chance of getting your ex to sign away his rights in lieu of child support?  Could you afford to raise the boy on your own and never see the ex again?

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