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How to let a guy down/is this normal?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
So my ex and I separated 6months ago.
Before him I had never dated. Im a 28yr old with 0 dating experience.

Ive been talking to a guy who I had gone to Jr. High with. We just reconnected. Because of our jobs and me having my kids all the time, we havent had a chance to meet up. We talk/text daily though.

I was very upfront woth him that Im not ready for a relationship. He was understanding, said hes been single for 4yrs.
It was nice at first, hes very sweet and compliments me a lot, hes a good looking hard working guy. I could tell that If we were in a relationship he would be very doting.
The more we talked though the more...desperate he started coming off. Then his concern for me went a little weird.
Like, I hadnt talked to him most of the day, I was busy, stressed, and working and hadnt gotten a second to sit and eat. He asked If I was mad at him, which wasnt an issue, open communication is good.
When I told him what was going on he told me I needed to eat. I told him I would, he said "no, you need to eat now".
Hes done the same thing with me sleeping and my homework.
I mentioned putting off homework, he asked when it was due I told him and he said "you should do it now". I told him I would be fine to do it the next day and he says "well as long as you get it done".

This isnt normal, right? I may have been in a relationship for 10yrs but Im a pretty independent person. I feel like this is crossing the line of "loving concern" but I guess I dont know?

Anyway I have no idea how to stop this now. I get the feeling hes going to not take it well.


*Oh and this has been like 3weeks of talking.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 18, 2017 at 11:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 18, 2017 at 11:59 AM
3 moms liked this

Tell him you're uncomfortable with his controlling behavior and he should lose your number.

Famousglm714
by Gina on Jan. 18, 2017 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this

You have to just go ghost on the desperate ones. Trust me, lol. He sounds controlling too. If you so much as say hi to him he's going to take that as an open invitation to keep annoying you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2017 at 12:05 PM
Thats what I was afraid I was going to need to do. I feel like an awful person for it.
Like I said he was totally fine at first but its just progresed really quickly and then the telling me I needed to do things was like "wwhhooww what?".

Quoting Famousglm714:

You have to just go ghost on the desperate ones. Trust me, lol. He sounds controlling too. If you so much as say hi to him he's going to take that as an open invitation to keep annoying you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 18, 2017 at 12:06 PM
Runnnnnnnn!
Famousglm714
by Gina on Jan. 18, 2017 at 12:11 PM

I did it all the time in my early 20s, lol. For good reasons though, not just to be an ass. Once someone gives me bad vibes I'm just done. Like irritated at the sight of their text. I think you'll be dodging a huge bullet!

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thats what I was afraid I was going to need to do. I feel like an awful person for it. Like I said he was totally fine at first but its just progresed really quickly and then the telling me I needed to do things was like "wwhhooww what?".
Quoting Famousglm714:

You have to just go ghost on the desperate ones. Trust me, lol. He sounds controlling too. If you so much as say hi to him he's going to take that as an open invitation to keep annoying you. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 18, 2017 at 12:13 PM
If he's showing this behavior after three weeks and not even being in an actual relationship he'd probably be a nightmare down the road.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2017 at 12:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Thats kind of where Im at, he texts me every morning and I hear and im like "uugghhh".
The controlling type stuff has only been happening the last 3-4 days. So hopefully Im stopping this soon enough.

Quoting Famousglm714:

I did it all the time in my early 20s, lol. For good reasons though, not just to be an ass. Once someone gives me bad vibes I'm just done. Like irritated at the sight of their text. I think you'll be dodging a huge bullet!

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thats what I was afraid I was going to need to do. I feel like an awful person for it.
Like I said he was totally fine at first but its just progresed really quickly and then the telling me I needed to do things was like "wwhhooww what?".

Quoting Famousglm714:

You have to just go ghost on the desperate ones. Trust me, lol. He sounds controlling too. If you so much as say hi to him he's going to take that as an open invitation to keep annoying you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 18, 2017 at 12:29 PM
He may be concerned, or just thinking you are asking him for input. I would talk to him.
12345abcde54321
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2017 at 12:31 PM
I think he's just trying to show concern. It could end up crazy, or not. Too soon to say. I'd be more inclined to talk to him about it than write him off, personally.
GKmoms18
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2017 at 12:33 PM
1 mom liked this
This!

Quoting Famousglm714:

You have to just go ghost on the desperate ones. Trust me, lol. He sounds controlling too. If you so much as say hi to him he's going to take that as an open invitation to keep annoying you. 

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