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My mother-in-law wants to do an adult only birthday party

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 165 Replies
Which is fine that's her decision it's her birthday. But we have three kids and if I have to arrange a sitter for my 3 children, my husband and I are going out we're not going to sit in a room full of my husband's family. Dh agrees. It's really hard for us to get a sitter because my mom is really the only one who can usually babysit in the evenings. I have to ask her far enough in advance to make sure that she's not working that day or the next day because if so she won't babysit because she works 12-hour shifts. If we're going in the evening she rather just have them spend the night because we live 45 minutes from her house and they all go to bed by about 9 o'clock so unless we plan on having a really early date night it really doesn't make sense to pick them up. I don't like to ask my mom more than once a month because even though I know my mom likes doing it I don't want her to feel taken advantage of and I know she feels taking advantage of by my brother and sister-in-law with their kids. They constantly ask her.

Anyway my mother-in-law is upset that we're not coming to her birthday. We said that we might stop by for a little bit but don't plan on us being there the whole time.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:38 PM
Bump
jws120567
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Why can't you find a sitter on Care.com?  It's only one night!  Don't be a party pooper, go and have fun!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:39 PM
I wouldn't even think about attending.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:40 PM
2 moms liked this

You should suck it up, get a sitter and go to the party.

She watches YOUR kids for you when you want a sitter, the least you can do, is go to her party and pay for one this ONE time.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:41 PM
5 moms liked this
Have your mom watch the kids. Go to mil's birthday party for a little while. Then go have a nice date night with your husband

Don't make the situation harder than it needs to be. Use it to your advantage :)
Talkingheads
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:41 PM
2 moms liked this
Probably funds. I wouldn't want to spend 100 dollars just to go and sit around with family

Quoting jws120567:

Why can't you find a sitter on Care.com?  It's only one night!  Don't be a party pooper, go and have fun!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Because I like my children and value their safety and therefore I do not hire strangers off the internet to watch my children. I'm not being a party pooper I'm choosing not to go to a party that when i would rather do something else instead. My dh feels the same way. I actually think it's kind of selfish of her knowing that we are limited on babysitting to expect us to use one of our child free nights to go to her birthday. And for the record no she does not babysit cuz I'm sure people will ask. She refuses to babysit because she doesn't want to come over to our house but she refuses to baby-proof her house at all. She has breakables everywhere end if the kids break one of them she expects us to pay for it

Quoting jws120567:

Why can't you find a sitter on Care.com?  It's only one night!  Don't be a party pooper, go and have fun!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:41 PM
Personally I think that's sad. But my guess is you're not a huge fan of your mother-in-law to begin with. Your husband must not be a fan of his mom either. Otherwise why would you not attend the party?

You don't have any siblings? Cousins? Aunts? Uncles? Nobody around Who could help with babysitting? You don't have any friends with teenagers or anybody to ask?
K3412
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:41 PM
4 moms liked this
If it were important to you to go, you'd find a way. Since you want to find excuses not to go, then you have to be okay with people's reactions. You can't control both sides of the situation.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2017 at 2:42 PM
You misread she does not babysit at all I was talking about my mom who babysits. She doesn't ever babysit. We have a babysitter we just don't want to waste one of our kid free night hanging out with my husband's family.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

You should suck it up, get a sitter and go to the party.

She watches YOUR kids for you when you want a sitter, the least you can do, is go to her party and pay for one this ONE time.

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