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I need to VENT and let this all out.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies

This is probably not going to make a lot of sense but here it goes.  I am a functioning human being meaning I have held down a job in a supervisor position for 3 years, I go to college full time, I pay all my bills on time, I can care for my child, and I generally try to stay out of everyones' way and cause no harm.  My decision making is poor sometimes, for example I'll get so stressed to the point that if I have a free night I will drink past my limit.  It's not an every day or every weekend or even a monthly thing though.

I recently took myself off my anti depressents, I know I'm going to rightfully get a lot of shit for this but I quit cold turkey because I hated them and I thought I could function without them.  I also had my Mirena taken out 3 weeks ago.  So all of this has happened at the same time and over the past 5 days I feel like I'm heading for a nervous breakdown.  I get nightmares of being raped/molested/beat and then I think about it all day and I cry.  I hate being alone at night.  Flashbacks.  Mainly flashbacks to my last relationship which was abusive.  I don't think I've healed from it yet.  I'm in a new relationship now, well not new but he treats me extremely well and I'm not used to it. 

Ironically the thing that's causing me to be paranoid and freak out is the fact that we're getting a place together in a month and it's perfect.  This is such a good step but I'm freaking out and psyching myself out that he's going to leave me.  I also think I put too much on my plate.  I took on a higher role at work, I have all these papers for school due, I have to take my kid to her sports, her father hasn't seen her since Christmas and I suspect he's using drugs again, and my parents can be pretty unpredictable with their mental health. 

I'm trying so hard not to self sabotage.  I also haven't had my period until recently since I got pregnant with my DD due to the Mirena.  Maybe I'm going to get my period soon since it is the time I usually do, maybe I'm pregnant, maybe it's just hormones.  I hate this though and I want to be better.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 26, 2017 at 1:28 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 26, 2017 at 8:14 PM

hugs

sammichmaker
by soup sandwich on Jan. 26, 2017 at 8:19 PM
I don't know what to say, but *hugs*.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 26, 2017 at 8:19 PM
Get back on your anti-depressants.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 26, 2017 at 8:22 PM
Get back on medication. And stop trying to get pregnant before you're ready...mentally
Angel89411
by on Jan. 26, 2017 at 8:26 PM
Taking yourself off anti depressants cold turkey is really really bad. It can cause you to spiral down quick and hard. You need to get back on them and consult a doctor about adjusting dosage or brands. Seriously, you can end up suicidal.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 26, 2017 at 8:26 PM
Take on one less thing, eat healthy, and make sure your getting exersize.
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