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My husband or family?? UPDATED!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 77 Replies
***Friday my husband I went out of town to look at a job that he was called for. I went with just to ride. We were gone all day, came home to cops cars in the driveway. My FATHER called the police about an half hour prior to us arriving and told them that was a 'drunk man' there causing a problem about a trailer that wasn't his. I am assuming my sister had stopped there during the day and told me dad that she was going to talk to me and my husband over a text message that my DH sent to her husband. I am unsure of what she told our dad about the text message but the text that my husband sent him was simple. He told him that his scaffolding was at the house that he was welcome to come and pick it up but he needed his things back. He told him that he could come this weekend to handle everything, no drama that they were better than this. That was all, I read it.
So when we got out of the car I asked my dad what was going on and he pointed to my DH and said "HIM". He is arguing and fighting with my daughter who has cancer over stuff that isn't his. So the cops pulls us away from my dad to talk to us and the cop proceeds to tell us what dad had told them on the phone. He said he had already been there 15-20 minutes trying to figure out who the drunk man was that was causing trouble. I explained to the cop where we had been all day. The cop said that he smelled alcohol on my dad and he seemed intoxicated. So my husband had to explain the whole situation to the cops, show him the title to the trailer and also gave the police his cell phone. By that time a second officer showed up. So the first cop went through all messages. After about 15 minutes he gave the phone back to my husband and called my dad over. He told my dad to call BIL and tell him to have the trailer back on the property by 6pm or there would be criminal charges pressed. It would be a felony due to the amount of money involved. I tried to call my BIL but no answer so the police had me call my sister. She was so mad when she got there, cursing at me and my husband calling him a thief and criminal. My dad had the cops tell us that we had to leave the property. So we got as much stuff we could at that time. We stayed in a hotel Friday night. The trailer is back. But the family is broken and that is the sad part. All because a man that obviously has issues and not just with drugs. It is just sad. My dad and my sister were always closer but I never thought that he would kick me out with 4 children knowing that we have no where to go with very little money. We just paid all of the bills at his home and our car payment which they are equaled about 900.00. All of our money has been going into a small house my husband has been building since we moved there. It is just a really bad situation.


I am in a situation where I do not know what to do and need others opinions. Please bear with me as I hope typing this out makes sense.

My sister and I have have always been very close. We are only 5 years apart. I moved away(2 hours) 14 years ago and started my own family. Got divorced re-married etc. about 2 years ago my sister was diagnosed with colorectal cancer and within a year she had 2 reoccurrences and now is advanced with her cancer. She begged me to move back to our hometown to be close to her and help her while she goes through this. So I did. My husband and our 4 kids packed up during the summer and moved. In the meantime, towards the end of summer my sisters husband lost his job, she is on disability so their income is not where it should be. My husband owns his own construction business. It is small but he makes very good money. So he offered my BIL to work with him. It went from working with him to them partnering up together. I stayed out of it. They never actually went through with it due to the time of year, my husband wanted to start with them two together at the beginning of the year due to tax purposes. Anyways, my husband landed several jobs, paid my BIL half of the profit from those jobs...reluctantly because he wanted to put a percentage of profit back into a business account. My BIL threw a fit and accused my husband of screwing him over. Blah blah. The last job they did together my husband paid him OVER half of the profit because of stories he was making up about how he needed money for this and that, come to find out they were lies. And found out that he has a serious pill problem. My sister confided in me and told me that he spent over 8,000(401k withdrawal) in a month on pills. So anyways, my husband told him that it wasn't going to work, he has been trying to teach him about the business side of things and all my BIL sees is $$$. He was expecting my husband to furnish all of his gas and buy his lunch every day on top of paying him half of the profit of these jobs...

Soooo..somehow my BIL has it in his head that my husband owes him $1500, after paying him 5,200.00 for 2.5 weeks of work. No, he doesn't but BIL says he does so what my BIL does while me and my husband are gone is comes to my dads (where we are staying momentarily) and steals my husbands box trailer with several hundred dollars in tools, luckily my husbands expensive tools are locked in a house where he has been working. My dad sits back and watched this happen because my BIL and sister have my dad convinced that my husband still owes him money. I am just floored and shocked that this is even happening. My husband doesn't want to get the cops involved because he knows my BIL will go to jail, with the shape my sister is in that doesn't need to happen. But my BIL has been texting my husband telling him to pay him so much money and he will give his things back. Last week my husbands keys went missing, they just reappeared today and tongue lock key for the trailer is missing off of them,so sometime or another my sister or her husband came and took it, my husband has always left his truck keys in my dads kitchen window so whatever but it is gone now. It just really shady shit. My husband told me tonight that he wants to pack up and move back from where we moved from. He is sick of this stuff, he said it is going to tear our marriage apart. I don't know what to do. My sister is dying and I have my husband that is getting done wrong by my family!! I know this may be simple to some but I love my sister and I love my husband, and KNOW that he hasn't done anything out of the way.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:40 PM
Dang. That's hard. Does your sister side with her dh?

I would definitely keep your distance. Keep all things at your place and change all locks. I'd get security cameras.

I don't know. I would likely move with my hubby, if he was adamant about moving. Maybe come visit sister off and on if possible. I would stay far from bil though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:43 PM
5 moms liked this
Cops need to be involved as your BIL is only going to get worse.

Also your DH is right that you guys need to move. Why is your sister not standing up for you and your DH?
SmurfGoneBad
by Ruby Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:43 PM
I think you need to movent. It will only get worse.
young_lv_mom
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:44 PM
I think what you need to really think about is do you want your marriage to last? I understand about your sister and how hard that is. However I hate to say it but it does not sound like other then you loving her that she has giving you one good reason to let her husband and your father to treat you guys like shit. I say move because you are being blackmailed in a way, while having others help your bil steal from you. I mean you can't even trust that your belongings will be safe in the home you are staying at.
But I would tell your bil to give back what he stole or the cops will be called, and if her truly feels ripped off he can take you to court and try to win his money that way. Family or not they are not treating you as family.
littlesippycup
by Baby T-rex Arms on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:45 PM
3 moms liked this
If your sister is helping her DH rob y'all in any way, choose your DH.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:46 PM
Yes my sister is siding with her husband. Which makes no sense. She knows how much my husband has paid my BIL because 2 out of the 3 payments was handed to her. My sister and I went to the bank and got the money out because my husband and him was working out of town and couldn't make it to the bank in time. Somehow he even has her convinced. My husband has even shown her and her husband the contract of the job so they know my husband isn't lying about how much the job was worth. It is just mind blowing to me.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Dang. That's hard. Does your sister side with her dh?

I would definitely keep your distance. Keep all things at your place and change all locks. I'd get security cameras.

I don't know. I would likely move with my hubby, if he was adamant about moving. Maybe come visit sister off and on if possible. I would stay far from bil though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:48 PM
Bil isnt your family, and your sister seems to be allowing this to happen. Why exactly are you worried about sending an addict to jail? Im confused about that. I understand your sister needs you, but she is choosing a drug addict over you. It's time to be there for your husband and family and let your sisters husband take care of his.
GigglesX4
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm with your husband on this one.
PinkButterfly66
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:49 PM
2 moms liked this

I would have called the cops so fast it would have made everyone's head spin. And I would have pressed every damn charge against that POS that I could.  Call the damn cops and get your low life brother-in-law arrested NOW.  Because he will steal from your dad and he will steal from your sister until he's locked up.  And then I would pack up and move the hell out of Dodge so your family doesn't keep ripping you off.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:51 PM
My husband, as much as he doesn't want to cause any issues, has mentioned going to the cops if he doesn't return his things this weekend. I am not sure as to why she is taking up for him. We are close and she has told me ALOT of things and has confided in me with a lot but I think her marriage is off limits. We were very close growing up but since marriage we have been close at a distance, if that makes sense...phone calls, a lot of phone calls and occasional visits. I did talk to our oldest sister about things and she told me that there has been a big control issue going on in their marriage for years. Who knows.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Cops need to be involved as your BIL is only going to get worse.

Also your DH is right that you guys need to move. Why is your sister not standing up for you and your DH?
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